Family Matters

CW miscarriage

28th June 1978

Hi Tom

Thanks for the card and gift, it can't have been easy getting that posted. Pammy and the baby are doing really well. We've named her Annabel. No doubt it will become Annie or Belle by the time she goes to school. Can't believe I'm looking that far ahead, but the last nine months flew by. 

Hope you can get leave and come to the Christening. I'll let you know the date in plenty of time, so you can get a cheap flight, not that I imagine there’s much to spend money on where you are.

All the best

David

6th Nov 1978

Hi Tom

Pammy says the pink elephant is gorgeous and Bella already loves it. See, it didn't take long, but she's a beauty, Tom, headful of blonde curls like her mum, so it suits her. We both understand why you couldn't get away, but hope you get to meet your niece soon. Thanks for the cheque; we'll buy her some premium bonds. I know what you'll say… 'typical banker,' but she'll be grateful when she's eighteen!

Cheers

David

25th June 1982

Hello Bro

Eight letters and cards caught up with me today. I can't tell you where, but it's bloody cold! Thanks for all the updates. We're moving on tomorrow so I'll catch up when I can. It's been hell, but my regiment came through when needed.

Love to Pam and Bella, and tell Mum and Dad I'm OK.

Regards

Tom

25th June 1983

Dear Uncle Tom

I opened my presents they are lovely and I luv them thank you. Daddy says I have too many toys but he is wrong. One day can you come and see me. I like your photo, your hair is nicer than Daddy’s.

Luv Bella

Hi Tom, the little minx! I have Dad's receding hairline but I'm not bald yet.

We might be able to get out to see you next year if the bonus is on track, and you're not in some remote jungle. I’ll let you know. Thanks again for spoiling Bella, perhaps it's just as well that she's an only child.

David

5th July 1984

Hi Tom

sorry I've not replied sooner. We're all doing fine, well, unless we brood on it. Thanks for your kind words. Bella doesn't really understand. Pam tries not to cry in front of her, but she's struggling and work wants her back in the office next week. We tried to see a GP, but there's no appointment available and it's like we should think ourselves lucky it wasn't worse. Mum tried to hug her, but Pam just froze. Sometimes, I think she doesn't see us anymore. But we're okay, honestly, don't worry.

Bella takes her Cabbage Patch doll to bed with her. His name is Bobby, which brought me to my knees for a moment, but she was adamant. She wrote you a thank you note but with everything going to hell in a handcart, I forgot to send it.

Good luck with the new posting. Keep your head down and write when you can.

stay safe little brother,

David

5th Jan 1987

Dear Uncle Tom

we went for Christmas dinner with Granny and Grandad. They got me a bike, and it's got pink streamers on the handlebars. Mummy doesn't like cooking but she helped Granny, and she smiled a lot more, which made me happy.

I heard Grandad say something about Mummy, and Daddy used a rude word and Grandad cuddled him, and I giggled and they saw me. But it was alright because we all played Hungry Hippos after dinner and everyone laughed.

Thank you for my Sylvanian Families. I play with them, with Bobby.

Love Bella

ps I don't believe in Father Christmas now, so you don't have to pretend.

7th Sept 1991

Hi Tom

Congratulations on the medal, you silly bugger. Keep your head down, I said. God, I’m so proud of you. 

Thanks for the photos. Bella says her uncle is the best-looking soldier ever. She underlines a lot; apparently, that's what teenagers do. And draws hearts around boys' faces in magazines. I dread to think what else teenagers do, but she has posters of the Spice Girls on her bedroom wall, instead of ponies. And she whispers with Pam and glares at me if I so much as tell her she looks pretty. It seems dads become redundant at a certain age. 

Talking of dads, the old boy took a funny turn last week and ended up on the floor. He won't listen to me, so if you get a chance to call him, tell him to get himself checked out, will you? 

Cheers

David

Ps what do you think of this internet thing? I can't see it taking over from BFPO.

8th May 1994

Hi Tom

I’ll be at the station at four to pick you up. Thanks for making the transfer, I'll get the money back to you as soon as the bank pays out. I’m kind of grateful for having so much to organise, it keeps my mind occupied. Pam’s staying with Mum for a few days until Auntie June arrives. Bella's starting GCSEs next month and Pam doesn't want to be away from her for too long. Although she’s pretty good about studying, it's still a shock.

It's hard to think of life without Dad. He never really understood when Pam was depressed but he was always there. And he was like a dog with two tails when you got your gong. I'm keeping his fishing rods, so when you get back on Civvy Street we can do a trip to Scotland.

Anyway, I’ll see you on 17th, and thanks again,

David

18th June 1996

Hi Unc,

Thanks for the birthday money. I’ve got a job in WH Smith for the summer holidays and I’m saving up for a car, so it will go in the bank with my premium bond money. You're a very generous uncle. Grandad left me some money too. If I get good grades I’m going to Leicester Uni to study medicine. I want to specialise in strokes and stop anyone else from dying too young. I still miss Grandad.

Love

Bella

17th November 1999

Hi Tom

Thank you, I think! Can't believe I’m fifty, there was no need to rub it in. I look in the mirror and this enthusiastic twenty-something stares back. He’s going to have this amazing career in finance, might even make Chairman. He’ll have a big family, a bigger house, and three foreign holidays a year. But then he’ll burn out, make a poorly judged investment, put his wife and kids on the street…Nah, I’ll stick to middle management and Kefalonia for two weeks in June.

Bella’s not coming home for Christmas this year; it's the first time without our baby girl. She’d throw something at me if she read that. She loved the flowers you sent when she graduated, thanks for that. We were both glad she decided against medicine, although she felt she was letting her grandad down. With physiotherapy, she can still help people, and have time to enjoy life.

Pam and Bella treated me to tickets to next summer's British Grand Prix. Bella’s boyfriend is coming with me. Yep, guess that means I'm getting old.

cheers

David

16th Feb 2002

Hi Tom

Thanks again for taking leave and helping get Mum moved. She remembered you so well, even if she did think you were still sixteen. It's sad to see her like this, but I'm sure she'll be happier, and safer with other people around her. She thinks Pam is Auntie June and talks a lot about life when they were kids. Did you know our great-grandfather was an army major? Seems you're keeping it in the family.

Bella and Jack are selling his flat and buying a house together. Pam thinks it's a sign there will be grandchildren before too long. Wasn't it only last week you were buying Bella pink elephants?

all the best 

David

16th May 2005

Hi Tom

Congratulations on becoming a great-uncle. A little boy, Robert Thomas Harrison, six pounds exactly, and lungs out of proportion to his size. Bella is glowing and Pam has a quiet contentment about her. It's as though a small hole in her heart has mended with the arrival of Bobby. I wonder how much Bella took in when she was six?

We cleared out the attic to get down the cot. It's twenty-seven years old and Jack thinks it doesn't meet modern safety standards, so they're compromising by placing the Moses basket inside. I found a rather dusty envelope addressed to you and thought it might be fun to enclose it with the photos of our grandson.

Cheers

Grandpa David 

16th June 1984

Dear Uncle Tom

thank you for sending me a Cabbage Patch doll. He is beautiful. I was going to have a little brother but mummy says he isn't coming anymore. He was called Bobby, so I will call my doll Bobby and he can play with me. Daddy was crying last night. I heard him in the bathroom. I didn't tell mummy. My best friend Alice has two brothers, but she doesn't like them. I love Bobby.

Luv Bella.

26th March 2006

Hello David,

Well, that’s it, the end of army life. Thirty years passed in a heartbeat, although it feels like years when you're up to your neck in dust and grime, and dodging bullets.

The Army prepares you, as best they can, for life outside of orders and regulations, but the thing that's emphasised time and again is having a support network to ease you back into civilian life. I can't begin to tell you how much it’s meant, over the years, to get your messages and Bella’s notes, and to feel a part of family life. It's the difference between having your mates around you, or being alone, surrounded by strangers and not knowing if they're friend or foe. 

So thank you for the offer of Bella's old room. I'm going to take you up on it for a week or two. But first Bro, we're going fishing.

See you soon

Tom.