That's just the way it is.

My introduction to the harshness of life really began I suppose back when I was 7, On the morning of September 15th 1960, my older brother and 2 older sisters were at School, we were called to the Principles office and informed that our father was killed by electrocution, he worked for the local Public Utilities, the Principle was with our neighbor from down the street, which coincidentally was a police officer, upon arriving home, we found our mother and some of the neighbors crying, now at the age of 7, you don't really get the perspective of life as adults do, but at that time you were expected to, I did not fully comprehend the severity of the circumstances until later in life. My father being a Lines man for the Public Utilities was up in the bucket of the Hydro truck and had just fixed whatever the issue was starting to come back down when he realized he had forgotten a tool upon the pole, he informed the Ground man, he went back up but the man at the relay station said he did not get the message not to turn the power back on, he turned the power back on as my fay father reached across and completed the circuit which then put over 1,,000,000 volts through his body killing him instantly. A series of unfortunate events to say the least, At home later on I remember asking my mother what seemed to be an innocent question to me at least, as to when my Dad was coming home? My brother scolded me profusely, Believe it or not my life after that day would take a turn for the worse, either the fact of no leadership or bad judgement on my part or perhaps both, however, my mother was in my eyes a saint, she tried as hard as she could to keep her family together by supporting herself and 4 children by working 3 jobs, I saw very little of her while growing up, just fleeting glimpses here and there, The fact to me, in my eyes at least was that I was alone, but I kind of understood why. My childhood was rather a colorful one to say the least, I had to preoccupy myself quite often, I felt shame for some reason for not having a father, school events and plays were hard, I could feel the looks of pity from others and hear their whispers, such things as "Isn't that one of the children whose father was killed on the Hydro" and such, As the years went by I experienced 4 attempts upon my life by people I thought I knew and could trust and tried to end my own life on 2 different occasions while under the influence of alcohol, which I stay away from now, Alcohol would be a factor in a major part of my life, it gave me the ability to express myself and the courage of the strongest of Lions, all an illusion I found out later, throughout my life I had 5 impaired driving convictions as well as many hangovers, in my late teens and early 20's I was hooked up with a what I knew was pretty rough bunch, which it wasn't until later on that I would find out how rough, now hanging about in the Jane and Finch area in the late seventies and early eighty's was rough, if you didn't hear at least one gun shot at night accompanied by a scream or two, something was definitely wrong, my area of expertise was diplomacy, which was a skill I picked up at a early age, I had excellent bargaining skills and the ability to figure out a way around things, I did work for some very nice Italian folks, if you know what I mean, At the age of 19 I had my first gun, a 45 black magnum,I loving referred to her as "Black Beauty", the other weapon I carried was a Chrome 357 Magnum, which I referred to as "Silver", the reason for the weapons was for primarily protection as well as enforcement of whatever the Italian Family said. This went on for 5 yrs and a bit, I did some running of certain products from Canada to USA via Lake Ontario in a Sidewinder with a 454 Jet Prop, she was a beautiful boat as well as dangerous, as I had many close calls with authorities, after that colorful chapter of my life closed things leveled out a bit for me, I got a steady job but still drank like a fish that hadn't seen water in days.my drinking career came to an end, or at least the start of the end by 1997, I would struggle here and there but always came back, I joined AA and received help from them as well as great friendships, it's funny, after kinda knowing what I was hauling across Lake Ontario I actually seen my cargo one day, my boat load was 500 pounds of Cocaine per crossing, I am not going to relate to you how much I was paid per crossing but I can assure you, it wasn't enough to cover the unconvincing of the prison term I would receive if I was apprehended, although with all that blow available I always kept my nose clean, if you know what I mean and that's why the Italian's like me I guess. I am not going to bore you with the justs of my life, but I did end up marrying a very beautiful woman and had a child with her, it is hard being a father when you haven't been exposed to one, not one that was any good anyway other than a few friends of mine that were good, my mother always seamed to pick the wrong ones and I knew deep down I did not want to be like them, my life has been a rollercoaster ride that has been on a down hill side of things, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change things even if I could because it has made me the person that I am today, but I am curious as to how it would have been with a proper father growing up. I am more spiritual today then ever before in my entire life due to the circumstances I experienced, In my life, it also helped make me the humanitarian that I am today. My journey has awakened me spiritually to a degree to which I am astounded, I have learned that I as well as all humans on this planet are a spark of the creator, no one greater, no one lesser, what we believe shall be our Destiny, we all must help each other for the good of our own selves, I have learned that you do not ask about the troubles of others unless you are prepared to hear the worst, I have found that people are generally considerate towards you as long as you are to them. I could no doubt write a book about my adventures and escapades witch could very well be a best seller, but alas, it takes a toll on my mind body and spirit, so perhaps I shall refrain. I am not by any means trying to say my life has been worse or better than anyone else's. It was what it was and Is what it is. I hope you might enjoy my little parody. Thanks for taking the time to check it out. May you all Live long. Be the authentic you, it's much easier to remember.

Peace.