Shades off

My feet touch the carpeted rug on my bedroom floor as I get up to yet another summer day, sunny, as usual. "It's summer!" I scream in my mind, joy lighting my insides. I start to smile when I remember that I have a huge reason to be distressed. More distressing than the fact that I haven't spoken to my twin brother Paul for nine years now, (exception of the normal courtesy) since he put an electric iron to my face, scarring me for life.

I dash out of my bedroom then dash back to get my pink shades. I wear them everywhere, even inside my house. You never know what freakish things happen within these walls. Like twin brothers suddenly developing feelings for their twin sisters' best friend. I mean, who does that? I gag as as my mind forms a picture of Paul kissing my bestie Pris. Eewww. I check the entire house to make sure that no one's home and go into the kitchen to make myself breakfast when I'm satisfied that no other person is at home apart from me.

I go about the rest of my morning routine gloomily, wishing I could see what Paul and Pris were doing together. What do they even see in each other? Laying down on my bed, I close my eyes and try to imagine seeing through Paul's eyes, to no avail. I open my eyes in defeat and quickly swallow a scream because Priscilla is suddenly sitting in front of me, only, we're not in my room. We're at a coffee shop I've never been at. I look around and find that it is filled to half capacity. We're sitting at a booth in the back which is a little private. I am about to ask her how she teleported me to her in such a short time when she clears her throat, bringing my wandering attention back to her, and asks: "So what happened between you and Pauline?"

" Aww, Pris, you don't have to be such a..." I start to say, then the question replays in my head.

Pauline... Wait. That's me. Why is Pris asking me about me?

Just then it dawns on me that I'm not the one Pris is looking at, talking to. It's Paul. Somehow I can see what he's seeing, feel his feelings, alongside my own. Excitement courses through me with this realization, and I dance around my room, stopping only when I hit my big toe on the foot of my bed.

Paul sighs deeply. That question is one Pris has been asking me since God knows when and I always managed to not answer. It's a topic all of us in my family have managed to avoid for nine years, since the incident. So I don't expect Paul to give an honest answer or bare his soul or anything, but he does, surprisingly. "Pauline hates me, and rightly so. I deserve it, for all the pain I've caused her," he says. He then dives into the story. I can see his thoughts as they form and know what he's going to say before he says it. There's so much hurt and pain as he recounts the experience that changed my life forever.

'We were seven, and I thought it'd be funny if I ironed her cheeks. It was such a funny idea to me, and I thought the worst that could happen was that she would feel a little hot on her face. How stupid I was!' Anger, so much anger mixed with regret. He despises his seven year old self. 'By the time our mom found out what had happened, it was too late. Pauline was admitted to the ICU for weeks. We didn't have enough money for a plastic surgery, hence the scar. The doctors said she was lucky she didn't lose any of her eyes - and all these happened because of me. I wish I'd never been born. If I had died at birth Pauline would still be her normal, bubbly self, scarless and happy. I'm just pure bad luck.'

Paul bursts into tears, grief stricken, heart wrenching tears that make me immediately start crying. Pris is crying too. What happened wasn't his fault, he was just seven. It wasn't his fault that we didn't have enough money for a plastic surgery then, and now. For the first time in nine years, I cry, tears of grief and hurt and recovery. The tears wash away all the pain and bitterness, and I know for sure now that Paul hasn't just been living his life, indifferent to me, his twin sister. All the times he stood up against the bullies in school who nicknamed me Scarface, all the times he got a bloodied nose on my account, it was because he actually loved me, and not for his selfish interests as I thought. I let that love wash over me as I sob.

I think back to the times before the accident, times we played together, played pranks together, played pranks on each other. We looked so much alike so we often dressed up in each other's clothes and enjoyed tormenting our parents, especially our mom, when she found it hard to tell who Paul was and who Pauline was. We had so much fun together back then and we could, again.

Pris' arms are around Paul as she comforts him and I pull back into my own head. I know what I have to do. My brother has suffered enough. Its time to go get him back.

I race out of my house to the coffee shop and find Paul and Pris in no time, even though I've never been to the coffee shop. I pause to catch my breath. Paul sees me and stands slowly. Our eyes meet and hold for what seems like a minute then I run into his arms. It feels so natural. It feels like coming home.

We step back to look at each other and I take off my shades, the ones that tinted my view of the world. And what I see is beyond my imagination - a beautiful future for myself and my twin brother.