Nouveau Frugal

“This is the waiting room for the oracle?”

- “Well, yes and no. It’s the room where we hand out the predictions. Where did you think I invited you?”

“It looks like a dentist’s office waiting room…and not a good one at that.”

- “What’s wrong with it?”

“The most expensive AI ever, and this drab room…it’s just so unfitting.”

- “It’s comfortable. If we went too fancy in here, people would get the idea it’s all a high-tech scam that we’re doing to siphon money from the government.”

“Instead, it looks like a fly-by-night scam in a low-rent office.”

- “It’s not all that bad. Did you even look at the fish tank, or the wall fountain?”

“Yeah, yeah. I mean, at least it’s clean, even though it’s forty years out of date.”

- “The oracle designed it…called it nouveau frugal…said it was most appropriate for a government funded facility. The room’s not why I called you here. Pythia…you know, I think we misnamed her.”

“It’s a she, now?”

- “Of course. When we finally started up under full power, she asked her name. We provided several that she rejected as too masculine.”

“I see.”

- “She also refers to herself in the feminine.”

“That clears that up. But…why do you say she’s misnamed? She’s an oracle, so Pythia is fitting, I’d say.”

- “Sure, sure. But it seems she’s more Cassandra than Pythia these days, though.”

“You mean…?”

- “Yeah. No one wants to believe her predictions. They don’t take her seriously. More proof that she’s a she, I guess. Women still aren’t taken as seriously as men.”

“Ain’t that the truth? So, why am I here?”

- “She has a prediction for you…that has an effect on your sector, as well. I thought it best that you hear it first, then you could convince your coworkers.”

“What’s the prediction?”

- “Not so fast. I want you to understand just how accurate she is.”

“Hit me.”

- “The sector fourteen raid against the drug lab….”

“What a cluster-fuck. Nine killed in action, seventeen wounded, and not a single arrest.”

- “The sector captain was warned by Pythia. She said, and I quote, ‘Do not carry out your plans tomorrow. Wait one day for best results. Tomorrow will only bring defeat and loss.’”

“That must be hard for the captain.”

- “He said he wouldn’t postpone the raid, as the warrant was expiring.”

“Shit.”

- “Exactly.”

“Any more?”

- “Let’s see if you can figure this one out. Pythia said, ‘Avoid public appearance next Thursday. A great threat to you will be secured on Friday morning.’”

“The talk show host that was shot dead last month? Sector four?”

- “Yeah.”

“They caught the guy at home pretty quick, though. Crazy…he had all the plans for it out in the open in his apartment along with a bunch of bombs.”

- “They did. But the search warrant had nothing to do with the hit, it was for bomb making. He’d have been arrested either way. And the plans…they didn’t include anything that made the target clear.”

“I think I get it. Whatever Pythia tells me, believe it.”

- “I wish it was that simple.”

“What am I missing?”

- “Every prediction comes with a cost.”

“Well, the government’s paying it, aren’t they?”

- “Not that cost. I mean to the person who receives it.”

“The talk-show host?”

- “Would have lost revenue for the day, plus ratings as they aired a rerun.”

“Hardly anything, compared to a life.”

- “True.”

“The sector fourteen captain, though. What cost?”

- “When was the last time you heard about someone getting a warrant, planning a raid, then postponing the raid and extending the warrant?”

“Can’t really recall.”

- “Because it’s a career-ending move.”

“Ouch. So, I guess whatever the oracle has to tell me is going to cost me somehow?”

- “It will, but the upside will always outweigh the cost, but….”

“But?”

- “It may not be obvious what the upside is. Probably won’t ever be. Sure, in those cases, it was the difference between life and death. But if the talk-show host had canceled, the plans were nebulous enough to not warrant another charge or any investigation.”

“Is there any example of anyone actually doing what Pythia suggested?”

- “Two. Out of fourteen-hundred-twenty-one predictions, only two.”

“Who?”

- “A politician was told, ‘A lunch speech tomorrow will bring unexpected salvation. Sticking to your current plans will prove costly.’ She did it; had an unplanned press conference.”

“Is that the one that was accused of buying drugs, until she proved that she was in a press conference in another sector, on camera, at the time?”

- “That’s the one. We made sure that hit the national news. The hope was that she would spread the word about Pythia’s accuracy.”

“Then she lost the election, even with how popular her doppelgänger made her on social media.”

- “Right. Don’t know if it’s the end of her political career or just a setback but, canceling her private meeting with her biggest backer cost her campaign.”

“Couldn’t they have provided the same proof as the presser?”

- “Not even close. Would anyone take the word of a wealthy campaign donor over the sector patrol cameras? Even facial recognition pegged her as the drug buyer.”

“Hm. The other?”

- “Me.”

“You?”

- “Yeah. Shortly after we started her up and she picked a name, she said that I should stay on and help her after the research was over. If I left, I would meet with ruin.”

“And you believe that based on what?”

- “I’ve been pretty happy here, and I’m lucky enough to consider her a friend. The project I was meant to head up folded soon after it started due to lack of funding.”

“You sure that wasn’t just because your name was no longer attached? You did gain some notoriety with the oracle.”

- “Can’t say, for sure. That’s another angle we haven’t covered yet.”

“I think I know what it is.”

- “What?”

“Does the prediction change the actions of the person hearing it, making it true?”

- “You hit the nail on the head. We still don’t know how — or how much — the prediction affects a person’s behavior. And it’s likely to be different for everyone.”

“We’ve danced around it long enough, I think. What did Pythia predict for me?”

- “So, you want to hear it?”

“I do.”

- “She said, ‘Your only protection is to walk out immediately. Stand with your compatriots and voice your grievances. If you do not, the rising sun will see great anguish for them all.’”

“That’s it? She’s telling me to call a strike? Now?!”

- “That’s what she said.”

“It’s —”

- “Career suicide?”

“Yeah. Has she ever been wrong?”

- “Not that we can tell.”

“I could probably call a strike this afternoon. It’s been brewing for a while, but no one’s been brave enough to make the call. After the strike, I’ll be forced out as the sacrificial goat; what do I do then?”

- “You could always work here. Pay’s not bad; decent benefits.”

“But this ugly room, not sure I could handle it every day.”

- “Sure you can; it grows on you. Besides, nouveau frugal will be the height of interior design…in the near-ish future.”

“Is that what she says?”

- “Yep. Even coined the name herself.”

“Now I’m not so sure about calling the strike.”

- “Not you, too?”

“I just…how much can we trust an oracle that picks this as the next trend in interior design?”

- “Composition fallacy. Or maybe a simple non-sequitur fallacy.”

“What?”

- “You’re saying, you think she’s wrong about the room design, so she’s wrong about your prediction.”

“No, that’s…well…maybe.”

- “I told you what you needed to know. The next step is yours.”

“What’s your advice?”

- “My advice? Call the strike…as soon as you leave.”

“You say there’s an opening here?”

- “As soon as I adjust the budget for it. I’ve been needing some help so I can take some time off.”

“Hmm. We’re back to the question of whether the prediction affects action or not.”

- “We are. But what you do when you step out, is on you.”

“And she said, ‘great anguish’?”

- “She did. Um, what are you doing?”

“Texting out a strike call.”

- “You didn’t want to wait.”

“Nope. Might as well get myself fired now.”

- “You’ll call me when the strike’s over?”

“I will. I expect a job waiting for me.”

- “You’ll have it.”

“Then I’d best get on the picket line. I’ll call you.”

- “Well, Pythia, I’ve completed the final item you tasked me with. An experienced patrol officer on the team, as you predicted.”

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I chose to write this one entirely in dialogue, mostly to see if I could.