Summer Medley

Hi, everybody, this is Summer here, making up stories out of my head. I don't know why, I have the time, I guess.

So here goes:

Once upon a time, in a rural area of town, there lived a girl and her family, happy as could be. The girl would busy herself with tasks like doing the family's laundry, or going to the store for her parents.

Once, however, she lost her money and had to go back empty-handed.

Anyway, this was a well- rounded individual, good in school and had friends, had projects going. She went to parties, slumber parties, and her and her friends even made up dances to perform on stage for the teachers.

She was in chorus and one time it was so hot at a recital that someone fainted right on the bleachers.

Also dance class was something she was involved in. Her dad took her out of the class saying the outfits were too 'sexy for young girls. That's because it was sequined leotards and fishnet stockings and slightly high heeled tap shoes.

Anyway, so that endeavor was short-lived.

When it came time for the family to go to middle school, there was a problem; the parents didn't like the schools that were available in the area.

So into the suburbs, they moved, the five of them.

This time, they were in a good school district, top 8 in the country! Jean, we'll call the girl excelled in school, getting high honors and entering county- wide math contests.

When the SAT tests rolled around, she was in the top 5% scoring in the country, hence commended for national merit scholarship program. College applications piled up in the mailbox.

Yes, she had a paper route and yes, something terrible happened that ruined it all.

One day, her dad was outside the door when she was coming out of the bathroom. She unfortunately shared with him that her 'butt hurt.

'Let me look at it, " he replied.

When she objected faintly, "I'M YOUR FATHER!!!!", was the reply, so she pulled down her pants and lied on the bed, on her stomach.

He said, 'ok," then she left and went back downstairs, to her room.

After that, she was never quite the same. Always looked down at her plate at dinner, and stopped talking. She was referred to a mental health counselor.

The rest was history, but, just so you know, she didn't choose to be the way she is today. There was an incident, an event that caused her mental illness.

Now she has built herself back up from scratch and considers herself well-off.

Hardly much help from others took her where she wanted to go. The story is of a success. A smart cookie that navigated through the unpredictable waters of the mental health system in NYS,

Coming out on the other side more knowledgeable about how the system works, and meeting many friends along the way, this girl rose above and came out on top.

Thrown into situations that would break most, she persevered and suffered quietly, with an unbreakable faith and determination to believe, someday everything would be alright

Adventures aplenty, her life would be a roller coaster of rocky roads and extreme highs and lows.

There were those who wanted to see her succeed, and those who spat at her in spite, but through it all she kept going forward to make it to where she is today, a place she calls, heaven, on earth, her apartment where she can be herself and thrive.

Two children were born to her she will never see. A couple of abusive relationships passed in and out of her life, she's been in places. Looked down on by most of society and she has had her heart broken and people have laughed her off the planet. Is it paranoia?

Today she is looking back and laughing, at her past. Wow it's been a long journey of ups and downs, crazy, hectic, scary and apocalyptic, I can say because there were near death experiences and brutal abuse.

There were also kindnesses shown, to this girl, Jean, we'll say, along the way, that helped to get her through.

Family holidays can be fun even if she has often felt outcasted. Vacations were went on, memories made, in childhood, nobody expecting the turn of events to happen (that way.

And other family members must've been surprised, what is this change, occurring in Jean, once such a star student.

Aggressions were taken out on Jean for the rest of time, that were not of her doing, just because she would let it.

Ultimate supreme blame-taker.

But no matter the failure she felt, she did not lash out at her abuser. She quietly took responsibility for her own life and worked hard to get back up.on her feet.

Feeling alone in the world, sh reached out to an old friend and now they are happily living together.

Trying to be a good parent, she reaches out to her daughters daily. Also.feels lucky that she knows their where-abouts.

Yes, others have surpassed obstacles in their life, but this is a unique circumstance where someone has fought hard all their life almost to overcome the humiliation of one incestuous event.

All the best to this girl, this girl is me.

And though I have worked hard, there is so much more to confront and bring to terms. I don't want to cause trouble for people but I don't think it's fair that someone is laughing, carefree while I'm struggling, then I'm looked down on for some reason.

It just seems backwards.

So, #metoo, and I hope everyone else who feels this way can share their story because it is very liberating.

My heart goes out to all people who don't feel heard, or feel belittled in some way. I hope people can respect each other, understand, and continue to try and better themselves without crossing boundaries into other people's territory.

And I wish I could be taken seriously, for once, not called a hooker because I never got a job because I had so much else to deal with, and I never charged money for sex so how does that make me a hooker?

I really am finding that it seems people need a scapegoat, someone they can collectively look down on and spit on.

This has been my life.