If Only

The baby rests on her daddy ‘s chest. Her mommy lays beside them. The sweet summer breeze blowing in them just ruffles the lace curtains over their bedroom windows. 

“This is perfect,” the new mommy breaths out, “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

 Her husband smiles, moving his eyes from his newborn to his wife.

“Could you imagine? Just us and her, in this room. Her remaining this size. It would be heaven, for a while. Remember, darling, you were bored out of your mind while on bed rest in this same room.”

She acknowledges this with a nod. “I was. True but it is different now. I am not the only one that can carry her,” Her hand reaches across him to brush her baby's hair, “She is fully here. We are so blessed.”

“Yes we are.”

A year later 

“Look at her!” She toddles towards their outstretched arms, “come here baby girl!” 

She walks into her mommy’s arms and she holds her close. 

“You are growing so fast.” Her teary daddy says.

“Way too fast. I wish she could stay this size forever.”

Daddy chuckles, He takes his daughter into his arms. “There would be some advantages. Though,” he pulls a face at smelling her diaper, “not being potty trained isn't one of them.”

Four years later

She proudly adjusts her backpack. Her face is scrubbed clean. She wears new clothes. There is a ribbon around her ponytail. Their daughter is ready for kindergarten. They are not.

“How did you get so big?” Her daddy asks.

She grins. “Mommy is a good cook.” 

They laugh even with teary eyes. 

“Our darling. Please stay this sweet forever.” Her choked up mommy says.

“Okay mommy.”

Five years later 

“A decade. A whole ten years.” Her mom shakes her head, “how can you be this old?” 

The little girl laughs. “One year at a time, I guess.”

“Time needs to slow down. You are getting too big, too fast.” Her dad says. She hugs them both.

“I will try mom and dad.”

Maybe she does but time is relentless in its march. 

Grade school turns into middle school. She grows as tall as her mom, has her first period, her first crush.

“She can't stay our little girl forever.” Her mom says to her dad. He acknowledges this with a small nod. “I know. I just wish she could stay young for just a while more.”

“I know.” They watch her, giggling with her friends over boys. She notices them and waves them away. Fourteen, she doesn't want her parents hovering over her. 

They walk away with a sigh. “Remember when she would run to greet me when I got home from work?” Her dad laments.

“Yes and when she would greet me after school with, ‘guess what happened mom.’ 

“They are supposed to grow up, right?” His wife places her arm around him.

“Yes, my dear. I believe it shows we are doing this parenting thing right.”

First day of highschool 

“You are so beautiful.” The young woman smiles. She hugs her mom.

“Thanks mom. Do you think they will like me, my teachers and the other kids?”

She sees it again, the little girl starting kindergarten. It takes her breath away.

“My darling, they will adore you. What isn't to love? You're smart but not a smart aleck. Kind but not a pushover. Beautiful but not stuck up. A great friend. You will do wonderful in high school. Remember to take it all in. Time goes so fast and you can't stop the clock.”

She hugs her once more. “You're the best mom,” they hear a honk, “they're here. Gotta go.” 

She watches her walk away with a lump in her throat. Her little girl is now a young woman.

“Lord, just for a moment, can she stay like this? Just long enough for us to soak it all in?” She prays.

There is homework and crushes. Parties and football games. After school clubs and dances. Despite their best efforts, time continues its relentless march. She grows ever more beautiful becoming the woman she was born to be.

They blink and she stands in a cape and gown. 

“Can you believe it! Graduation.” 

“No,” her dad answers, “we can't.” 

She will head out of state to college. Their little girl is getting ready to leave home. They take a ton of pictures, the only way to freeze time. 

“Can’t we just stay like this forever?” her dad whispers to her mom as they watch her sleep under their roof, the day before she leaves for college.

“As much as we have tried, that doesn't seem possible.” Her mom sadly says.

They hold their tiny newborn in their arms. The doctors have said she is on her way home. Bed rest hadn't stopped her early labor and tiny Mary Alice came too early to be viable. Those are the clinical terms. All they know is their time with her is short, way too short.

“We love you baby, daddy and I love you so much. We wish we could stay like this forever. But we know you are being called home to heaven.” 

Her voice breaks as she hands her daughter to her daddy.

“My sweet baby girl, you will never sleep on my chest, we won't see you walk or start school, have a first crush,” he swallows hard, “or any of the amazing things we wanted for you. You can't stay here forever. This time though,” they watch her tiny chest slowly move up and down, “it is time we will remember forever.”

He hands her back to her mommy for the final goodbye.

“Mary Alice, my darling baby girl, go rest in the arms of your Father. There you can stay forever. Hold a place for us, until we meet again.”

They visit her grave every year on her birthday and death day. There, they lay flowers on her grave and talk to her about all that could have been, should have been. 

If only she could have stayed with them forever.