Long lost friends

Oh! I miss New Delhi. I did not fall in love with the great city all at once. I first came there to join my college. I belong to a small town in mighty state of Uttar Pradesh in India. We lovingly call our state U.P. UP by area is larger than many small countries of the world. It has a big heart and accommodates a population larger than many big countries. But the crowd of New Delhi is something at a different level. A metro station is like a daylong party, full of well-dressed, energetic and excited people. The environment of Delhi used to fill me with enthusiasm. I prepared hard for civil services and got selected in Indian Forest Services. A prestigious department of government of India since the time of British rule. I am proud of myself. I am now posted in town of Mandala district of Madhya Pradesh also called MP with love. I was so excited to come here. Mandala is nearby the place from where the legend of Mogli, the hero of famous ‘Jungle Book’ originated.

In the beginning I enjoyed all the greenery, forests, on duty jungle safaris and fresh air. But now I miss the beautiful hazy air of my beloved New Delhi. I miss the energy of ‘Delhites’. We the people of Delhi proudly call ourselves Delhites. There was some kind of friendliness in the energetic enthusiastic crowd on metro subway stations. When I used to look down the corridors of the subway, I used to feel an invitation to join the party. The wind and sound originating with arriving metro was like as if I am about to witness a royal procession. The street food of New Delhi and Old Delhi compete with each other like two jealous sisters trying to outshine each other in beauty. Their beauty is the delicious taste and refreshment they offer to an exhausted participant in competition of daily commuting.

In just one day I left all that behind and joined the serenity of nature. Although I achieved what I aspired for, but my heart never left Delhi. I still feel like a warrior in the mighty battle of competitive examinations of Indian Civil Services. Still after so many months of leaving all that behind, daily when I wake up in the morning, I first search for my books. It takes a few moments to realize that I am now far away from my beloved bygone life in New Delhi. Each morning the pang of missing the past days becomes a tad severe. Today my eyes are about to overflow at any moment. I came out of my house, a majestic government Bungalow of British Times. As I opened the door of my house, a cool breeze hit my tense body. A strong wave of nostalgia overwhelmed my emotions. I had a feeling as if I am on a subway station and the metro train has sent the cool breeze as her messenger to announce her arrival. The dam of my eyes gave in to the rising levels of my emotions.

My government appointed house help noticed that and said “sir, this cold dry breeze can irritate eyes sometimes”. I was shaken out of my thoughts. I said in a defensive tone “yes, the breeze is a bit sharp”. He said “at what time you will have breakfast? You will be coming back for lunch or shall I pack something”? His queries reminded me that I have to attend an official meeting with some higher officials today. I replied “I will have breakfast in half an hour, but no lunch today. I will inform you about the dinner timings”. He nodded obediently and left. I got ready and left for the meeting. It was in the nearby town, not too far away, just half an hour by road. The beautiful surroundings of highways passing through the forest area on the way were all appearing colourless. I asked myself “is this what you wanted? You were toiling day and night for years to get to this”? I once again realized that my soul never left the cramped, overcrowded civil services coaching classroom.

I reached the meeting venue. As I was coming out of my car, I heard the welcome sound of train horn. I felt as if train was calling me, “oh, please come to me. I can take you back to your world”. With heavy steps I started walking towards the office building. I reached the conference hall. I was oblivious of presence of others. As I was about to sit down I heard a sweet flute like voice of a woman calling my name “hey Sunil! Come here, sit with me”. I was shocked and so was the whole government of the district gathered in the room. I turned back and saw it was Kamal Kunwar.

She was the most beautiful girl in our coaching class. She got selected last year and joined somewhere I did not know till now. It was this district. I always had a big crush on her. She ordered me again in a firm voice “Come here Sunil” pointing to seat besides her. The name ‘Kamal Kunwar’ literally translates to ‘lotus princess’ in English. A princess can order a common civil servant, where and when he should sit. I obeyed and sat beside her. I could smell the perfume she was wearing. Many girls and boys used it back there in our coaching class to hide the stench of sweat, a gift of sultry New Delhi weather. The nostalgia deepened and made me wonder whether it is alright to miss the stinking air of my class room. Something must be seriously wrong with my mind, I thought.

I came back to my senses when she whispered “thank god you are here”. I relaxed a bit and found out that another stupid emotion is surfacing in my mind. I wanted to hug her and cry, shouting aloud “please take me back, please”.

Without looking towards me she again whispered “Arrange me a beer after this torcher of a meeting”.

Oh my God. This is punishment. My eyes again started welling up remembering the times when we girls and boys of our coaching institute used to go for tea and snacks in the day time and beer whenever classes ran till late evening. Oh! Where are those random groups of boys and girls sharing deep fried snacks, cheap cigarettes and questionable alcoholic blends marketed as ‘strong beer’? She turned to me and said “something wrong, are you alright”?

I lied “nothing, just this cold dry air of this place is irritating my eyes”. She accepted my reply or may be ignored it and said “I miss our impromptu parties. Can you believe that I haven’t had a beer in last 1 year, since I joined here”? It was a rhetorical question with a mix of complaint and intended pun.

Her words were overwhelming for my voice, it choked as I tried to say “me too”. She again noticed my condition and said “Sunil you idiot, don’t be a girl and fall sick, I need one badly”. I did not feel emasculated by her words at all. I had already accepted that I am now an emotional little girl. I continued in choking voice “I am alright, we will have the party”.

Meeting was a tough one. We all came out exhausted. Kamal said “you go and fetch bottles. Bring them to my office. I think you know where to reach”. I nodded in reply.

I told my driver to arrange all material for the party. He was shocked as no one in the whole district knew that I can drink. However he kept his opinion to himself. I reached Kamal’s office with all material. She had spacious office. As soon as I entered she said in enthusiastic tone “let us start”. I was hesitating so I said “Don’t you think it is too early to start. Moreover it is a crime to drink on duty. We may lose our job and reputation”. She left out a sigh of exasperation and said “Now it is too late for you Sunil, if you try to leave I will start shouting that you tried to molest me”. I was stunned for a second but then realized she was just joking. She burst in to a loud laughter. I was feeling better now.

Our party continued for rest of the day till evening. Surprisingly nobody disturbed us. We talked about a lot of things. Discussion of our Delhi life made us both cry. She was too drunk to notice my tears. Once done crying she said staring towards me “you might me thinking I am a heartless, tough career woman. I drink and smoke with boys, use abusive language. But it is not easy for us girls like you boys. One academic failure and we are married off to a stranger”. Once a girl has a career, then it is even more difficult to get a husband”. From where this topic came I could not comprehend but nodded in agreement. She continued “Do you know I loved someone with all my heart. But he never even noticed me”. I nodded and thought or may be spoke it aloud, I don’t clearly remember, “You were the toughest distraction for us boys”.

She was sobbing again now “I suppressed all my emotions so that I can at least have a career”. I nodded. Even if I am in full control of my faculties I am not sure I may have a proper reaction for this. She lighted a cigarette, went to the window, took a deep puff and blew out a thick cloud of smoke out of window. She was looking like an impish angel against the orange evening light. She said in a sarcastic tone “you have it all set. A good job and well set career. Soon you will marry a beautiful young girl eager to become wife of civil servant. How much dowry are you planning to ask?” I was again at loss of words. Thank God for liquor, she was too drunk to expect a reply.

She continued “it is not same for me. I am all alone here, in this boring, dull forest of a town. No family and no friends. My family tried to search for a suitable match for me but no decent guy wants to marry a career woman”.

I was getting tired of her whining. After all, I had my own and probably even more serious emotional issues. I tried to change the topic “why don’t you contact that guy whom you liked”. She turned red with anger and said “Don’t even dare to mention the name of that idiot”. Due to all that beer in my system, I felt guilty about mentioning the name which I never actually knew. I apologised saying “I am sorry Kamal, I will never mention his name again”. She said in authoritative tone “better”.

Finally we decided to end the party and leave. Soon it will be dark. I had to travel a little bit to reach back my posting place. We decided to meet every weekend or so for a couple of drinks. We packed all remnants for safe disposal, shared mint candies as it was part of the camouflage protocol and came out to our respective cars to see each other off.

She was now relaxed. She said in a controlled voice, a bit too controlled, “It was nice meeting, Sir. We will meet again in the next ‘meeting’.” I replied “yes Madam, we will meet again in the next ‘meeting’”. She again said, now a bit less careful about our staff being nearby, “It was such a relief to find someone here from my good old times in Delhi. Life is really dull and boring” I nodded.

As she continued to relax, she slurred a little while speaking “I was feeling so sad before we met today. Old friends are like breeze of cool air in hot summer”. I nodded and wanted to say that we should arrange for a ‘get together’ of all our Delhi friends, but she continued speaking and said “I almost fell in love with you all over again as I saw you coming in today morning”.

I nodded and started to say “May be we should arrange a holiday for our friends here in ....” but could not complete the sentence. It took some time to sink in my alcohol laden brain. By then she turned and went to her car leaving me behind. I was standing there stunned. Finally I too got to my car and asked my driver to move.

The same place that was dull in the morning was now appearing lively. No it was not alcohol that had kicked out the gloom from my heart, it was something ever more potent. The beautiful green surroundings of highway, the orange red sky of evening, the cool and clear air were all so soothing to my soul. I forgot all about Delhi, the poisonous nostalgia was gone. Suddenly I started loving this place.

My cell phone vibrated. I saw a message was delivered. It was from the ‘lotus princess’. She had written ‘please forgive me. Please call back whenever you feel like, I was so drunk. I am so stupid’. I typed back reply ‘you are a stupid alcoholic woman indeed’ and sent it. Then I saw the indicator that she had checked it. Now I called her and when she picked up I said “Kamal Madam, it is me Sunil. I think I left some query in last file incomplete. I will be coming tomorrow morning to complete it. Please keep the necessary paper work ready. It is very important for the future course of action for both of us. I mean our offices”. All the authority in her tone was gone. She replied in soft voice “Yes sir, thank you so much for calling back”.