The Heavy Hospital bed

"Thank you, God.Thanks an awful lot"I whispered to myself.

"You must rise again, junior” The inner voice kept repeating itself in my head.

I had had a couple of sleepless nights and of course some little long-tireless daytime.

This Sunday morning, I woke up with a lousy altitude but I could still feel the "vibrant Karubembe" in myself. I lay straight as a yardstick on a couch, not giving it a single inch of my own self. My left feet protruded stiffly over the edge. My face was dull, wrinkled and hopeless, a sign of a man enduring necessary humiliation and pain. My hands were all folded corpselike on my chest with my eyes all staring at the calendar next to my wardrobe.

I tried to call my friend whom we had shared a room with back in my undergraduate days in campus but my words trailed me off.

"Could I be falling into depression unknowingly?” I wondered to myself.

Two single tears, extra-large and very silent, ran down freely on both sides of my cheek.

I became silent for a long time------[]-ten minutes actually clicked off the digital clock that hanged on the left of the coach where I lay.

With so much courage and unseen confidence, I blew my bedroom door wide open and headed to the outside world to get a clear view of what nature really wanted me to do. I found a trail of mud and filth across the tunnel next to the biogas system outside our homestead .As I bent down to look whether the mud had in a way interfered with the system, a slimy sounding voice like something from the underground tunnel caught me unaware and I had to remain intact and calm so as to grasp the message that nature was putting across.

"If you have real Love, you have God and the source of everything wonderful. Junior, God is love and He is the Maker of everything Wonderful"

I covered my eyes with my left arm and began to weep helplessly. Days had turned into hell and nights were now becoming a big nightmare .I had grown up with a clear conviction that its only grandfather who really understood my feelings and my aspirations. His admission in the hospital had not only caused a great havoc but also had instilled so much fear in my life.

The next day, I woke up with my mind set. I turned the table over getting up and smashed some three coffee cups. I could feel the wrath and pain in my body as I quickly wore my pink suit ready to make a move. My eyes were wilder than ever and my mouth hung loosely bubbling some words that I kept repeating till I entered the matatu.

“We are in this together”

It took me a half an hour to arrive to my destination.

And oh yes.I arrived safely and directly went to ward 7 and desperately started searching for a bed with the label JK17.

I looked at grandfather John from afar trying to be sure that it was actually him. He was a buffalo of a man with a head thrust forward between his shoulders and vein broken cheeks that were as a result of a high blood pressure .There were many male patients all over the ward with all sorts of illnesses with some being in oxygen pipes, others on diabetes diagnosis and others on normal terminal illnesses.

I confidently walked past them and headed straight to the bed where Grandpa was lying.

He was propped up in bed in blue-like hospital clothing’s with an armband bearing his name, age and his residence. Besides him, laid a man whose left hand seemed burnt and was actually groaning in pain. He had a high, wailing, blood-maddened sound that made me a bit worried.

Grandpa seemed strong and his health was so promising, a feeling that made me hug him every minute.

"Look at you Grandpa. You are getting strong every day. “I lamented as I tried to remove a stain that had stack in his forehead.

"Yes, grandson. God is good. I will be coming home soon. We have a lot to do, you know” He responded back confidently but with a voice that was fading away .

I looked at him with so much affection and gratitude with my eyes all in tears.

This is the man who had given me a reason to smile again when my family scattered away back in my early high school days. This is the man who sacrificed his own luxury just to ensure that his grandsons got to study hard and depend on themselves one day .This is the man who has forever been a true father to his children and young brothers and has never failed to be the best grandfather to his many grandchildren,Karubembe included.

I don't know for how long I stayed there holding grandpa's hand. It is beyond all telling.

But when I came again to my faculties, shadows had drawn long paths across me and I was actually at the center of twilight.

Movements from people who had also come to visit their loved ones had caught my eye and I was now reminded that my time was over and that I had to come out of the hospital premises. That was when I waved goodbye to grandpa with a smile of hope all over my face. He had all along taught me the power of positivity even at our weakest point.

As I walked past the hospital door towards the exit gate, I could feel grandpa's voice shouting at me from a distance,

"Am coming home soon, grandson. Pray, believe, keep the faith and shame the devil"

I went back home feeling a bit lost. There wasn’t much more for me to say or even do. I could feel the wind whooping and yowling as I entered the matatu .The wind hit me like a saw blade, making me a bit uncomfortable and I had to pull my black scarf over my ears.