3 comments

Horror Fiction

It was so out of place. That's what drew my attention to it. There it was, to the left of the Max's drawing table. A tooth. Hesitantly I entered his office. It gave me chills when I picked it up and noticed that it wasn't a clean tooth. It was stained with dried blood, and was that part of a root? I shuddered again and dropped it onto my cardigan pocket.

As hard as I tried to reconcile such an odd thing, I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. Returning to Max's workroom makes me feel guilty. He's made it abundantly clear that it is 'his' space, just like I have my sewing nook. I usually keep out to avoid a screaming match. But a tooth is a goddamn tooth, and I knew my mind would not rest until I investigated. He wouldn't be home for at least another 3 hours, I had plenty of time. I took a deep steadying breath. Still my hands were shaking.

Carefully, but as quickly as I could, I went through drawers, and cabinets and bookcases. Then I found it. Perfectly hidden behind two books. Neatly slotted into a hole at the back of the bookcase. A box about 10cm long. Ornate. Well worn. My heart raced in my chest as I held it. It took me two tries to open the hook and eye latch with my trembling fingers. It is hard for me to describe what I found inside. A variety of ID cards and so many teeth. About a dozen Polaroids of severed fingers. Fingers with rings. Rings that are in the box. My revulsion is so great that I drop the box. The teeth scatter. And the phone rings.

I let out a short scream as the ringing brings me back to reality. I know it's Max, he has called right before heading home for the last 4 years. A drive that usually takes less than 15mins. As I survey the scene in front of me, I want to give into the panic fiercely making itself known. I grab my phone from the desk and answer.

'You okay goose? You sound shaken up" after 27 years of marriage, he knows me so well.

'Yeah…no… Of course. Sorry. Can you pick up some onions?' I'm surprised by my own ingenuity. He doesn't sound thrilled, but I've bought myself some valuable time. I start scraping everything together, throwing everything back as fast as I can. Fuck fuck fuck. It dawns on me that when he opens the box again, he will immediately know. I start to reorganize, placing everything just so. Polaroids on top and ID’s to the left. I slide the box back into its hole and exhale.

By the time Max arrives, I have myself somewhat under control. I try to greet him as usual, and we talk about dinner. “You seem distant tonight” he looks at me for a long moment. I don’t want to arouse any suspicion and I go over to hug him.

He holds me close for a second and then holds me at arm's length. Puts on his concerned face. 'You know what would be amazing? A hot bath!! I'm pouring you one.' he drops my arms and disappears down the hallway. Turning a deaf ear to my protestations, I hear him pottering around in the bathroom. Every single nerve in my body feels on fire. I want to run out the front door and yell out to everyone that…well that's just it. Tell them my husband has a trinket box? That it might be filled with suspicious items? That he has some secrets? So what? We all have quirks and odd behaviors. Why can't he have a box? Even if it's a secret box. I have to be sure.

I slip under the water and try to relax. On my mobile I search for missing people. For murders, rapes. It doesn’t take me long. Her name is…was Christina. 23 years old from two towns over. I recognise her immediately from her ID. I feel cold. Sick. I bring up the newspaper article and read it with growing dread. Christina had disappeared on Labour Day. Her body has still not been found. Authorities are linking it to another disappearance three months earlier. I check the exact date and gasp lightly. For several years now, Max visits his father in the elderly care facility twice a month. It is a 5hr drive, so it only makes sense that Max stays at the closest motel and drives back the next day. And Max was definitely away on that long weekend. She remembers it clearly as it resulted in a nasty argument between them.

I wrap the towel around me and try to get dressed as quickly as I can. If I can make it through tonight, I can go to the authorities.

He is waiting for me in our bedroom. I act as nonchalantly as I can. I just need to make it through tonight. I can hear him sigh loudly and I turn around from the mirror.

‘You never asked me why I came home early today’ he says.

‘I was distracted, sorry babe. But I was happy you did.’ but I do not meet his eyes.

‘You were always such a bad liar Kirst’ he states almost lovingly.

I can feel myself go pale. Can’t find any words to respond with. The slap is so hard that it knocks me off my feet and onto the bed.

‘Max please. You’re talking crazy. You need to calm down and talk to me.’ I sound small, scared.

‘You did clean up nicely. I will give you that!’ he says as his grip tightens around my neck “But you see, my darling, there was something missing.’

My mind immediately goes to my cardigan pocket. Shit. SHIT.

As my world turns dark from lack of oxygen, I can see him bring the dental forceps to my screaming mouth.

July 10, 2023 23:45

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3 comments

Brian Adams
01:52 Jul 20, 2023

This exhibits an unconventional writing style—almost that of a chat bot. I say this because of the inconsistencies in punctuation and sentence structure. At one point the perspective changes from first to third, in the sentence, "She remembers it clearly..." All in all, a suspenseful story. Some things are unclear to me: 1. Why did Kirst take the tooth from Max's office? Didn't she know she would be caught? 2. How did Kirst know to look for a secret box? There's no indication that Max was hiding anything. 3. I was confused by the contents of...

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Marleze Kruger
03:51 Jul 20, 2023

Hi Brian! Thank you so much for your feedback! Good spot on the first to third person!! I was hoping you could explain more on the inconsistencies in sentence structure? My apologies, English is only my third language and I'm always keen to improve! The questions are excellent and will certainly use them to flesh out my story and get rid of those uncertainties. Especially why she put the tooth in her pocket. Thank you! I guess I wanted the reader to insinuate from her feeling guilty going into his office or him asking her to stay out of th...

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Brian Adams
18:09 Jul 21, 2023

Thank-you for the story explanations, and you are welcome for the feedback. All of the suggestions you made in order to flesh out the story would answer the questions I asked. Thanks for explaining. Sometimes, I find myself leaving out important information when writing stories. It makes sense in my own head because that's where the characters live, but for a reader—how would they know? The punctuation inconsistencies I was referring to were the way you used (") and (') (quotes and apostrophes) to contain speech. Also, I think your sentences...

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