The Most Unlikely Person Can Be Saved

The Most Unlikely Person Can Be Saved

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived an 8 year-old girl who was extremely hard-headed. She just wouldn’t learn from her mistakes and repeated them over and over again. Her name was Toncilla, which is a right pretty name, but she definitely did not act too pretty at all. Actually, that was her nickname since it sounded like tonsillitis because she was such a, “pain-in-the-neck.” Her favorite thing to do was get the other kids in trouble. That’s because she spent so much time there herself that it did her heart good to see somebody else in trouble. Most of the awful things she didn’t even get caught doing, or if somebody saw her do anything bad and told on her, woe unto that person when she found out who it was. She was so evil her teachers thought she had come straight up from the, “Hot-Place” where the devil is from. Other people said, “If he took her soul down there, it wouldn’t matter because he’d bring her right back because she was even too evil for that old devil himself. Now, that’s really bad.

The only friends she had were the brats and other bad-kids in her school. They would always sit together at lunch-time and discuss ways they could do certain bad things to the other kids or the teachers. Some of that stuff was brilliant, meaning only a really smart bad-person would be able to think of, like setting off stink bombs in the classrooms because she knew it would clear everybody out of the room, then they would spend a good half-hour just trying to get the stink out of the room. By the time that happened, it was usually time for the class to end which was something she wanted to accomplish anyway. Nobody ever dared to tell on her. If they did, woe to that person because she’d always find out who squealed on her somehow then she would do all cinds of evil things, just short of murdering them. She was down-right evil.

One reason she was that way was because her parents had both given up on her and given her to an orphanage so she could see what it was like living with kids who really didn’t have any parents, or any parents who could care for their kids. Most of them were mean anyway so it was more of a privilege than a penalty. All she needed was horns, a tail and a pitchfork. The teachers would be so exasperated at the end of the day they would always say the same thing which was, “One of us is leaving this school! It’s either her or me! Here’s my 2 week notice! Do I really have to wait for 2 weeks until I can quit this job? It doesn’t matter cause I can’t take it!”

She never made under a D in every course. She told the other students, “A is for Awful, B is for Bad, C is for Could-Do-Better, D is for dandy, E is for Excellent and F is for Fantastic!” The only reason she didn’t have to repeat a grade was because no teacher wanted to have her in their class for another year. All of them felt like they were trying to teach a thunderhead not to drop any rain on the ground. Her evil laugh sounded more like a witches cackle than anything.

At her house there was a sign outside her door which said, “Beware of cat.” Everybody would laugh at that until they saw the actual feline. She looked more like a full-grown tiger. When one of the neighbors said, “I don’t think you can train a tiger to be domesticated because it is such a wild animal,” the principal would always say, “You can’t. They have no intention

Of taming it. She always tries to make it be more ferocious.” Her house was safe from prowlers.

She was so awful nobody would believe she was that bad because just looking at her, she appeared to be a normal 10 year-old little girl. She always put on her invisible halo around her head when she had to meet a new person like a psychiatrist. Yet after spending 8 minutes with her, the doctor would resign, walking out with a silly-looking smile across his face. When the receptionist asked him if he was alright, he said, “Yes, I’ll be fine after I can resign from this job.”

Another thing she did which was really annoying to all of the other kids was she’d always get everybody’s deserts. If they didn’t give it to her she would just give them a sandwich in return, except it was made out of knuckles. The only friends she had were from the penitentiary that she kept getting sent to for bad behavior. She‘d usually meet the same kinds each time. That was because she would traumatize them so badly they would be afraid to be discharged since they didn’t want to run the risk of bumping into her in public. Those who did got their lights punched out. She was the epitome of evil, but nobody could do anything to change her.

Then one day while she was threatening to knock somebody into the middle of next week if they didn’t give her their lunch money, that kid said, “Alright, you have my whole lunch, including both Twinkies. I can get plenty of that kind of stuff in Church, but you wouldn’t know about that.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Toncilla squinting up her eyes in a sinster frown to look even worse, “I have never seen anybody get that kind of thing in Sunday School on t v!”

“How would you know?” the other child asked her, “You’ve never been inside of a Church!”

“Oh yeah!” continued the victim who was trying to think of some better lies to get her off of his case, “They always have all kinds of cool deserts there! After eating our snacks, we go on trips to different places. Last week we went to Disney World, on Thursday. Next Friday we’re going to Water Country U. S. A. and it’s all free because the Church pays for everything, even the food and lodging! Yet you wouldn’t know about that because you never go to Church!”

“Oh yeah?” saaid Tonsils, whose face had changed from a scowl to a real, true honest-to- goodness smile, “How do I know you’re telling the truth? Now, do I look dumb or something?”

“Oh, of course not!” replied the student whose mind was struggling to come up with some more lies to get her off of her back, “If I’m lying, I’m dying! Brownies honor! Oh, that’s right! You have never been a Brownie either! Well, you’re just gonna have to take my word for it then!”

The next Sunday in Church, who should walk through the front door but the Devil’s daughter herself, Tonsils. All the kids stood up when she entered the room. After she sat down, they sat as far off as possible from her. Even the teacher, who was the Pastor's wife, gulped deeply and said under her breath, “Oh, Lord! Thou hast preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemy! Please give me the words to entertain her so she won’t beet up the kids, or me!”

Since it was taking place at Dan River Church, which is very much a full-Gospel, Spirit-filled, Holly-rolling, Pentecostal Church where the Pastor always preached from the Bible, the other members either left and went to a different Church in town, or those who stayed were pointing their fingers at her, praying in Tongues. When she sat down, all the kids moved to sit as far away from Tonsils as possible. All the kids left the room except for those whose parents were highly-ranked in the Church somehow. Even the teacher gulped and said, “Oh, boy!” under her breath. Then she whispered, “Dear Lord, bless this child and help her not to kill any of the kids, or me!”

The first words out of Tonsil’s mouth was, “Hay! When do you give out all lthe goodies? I brought my appetite with me and my body needs some cake and cookies really bad right now!”

“Well, I don’t know about any food,” said the teacher, “but I can offer you Spiritual Food which is a lot better for your soul. That’s what Jesus wants all of His Children to do, spread His Word.”

“Who’s Jesus?” asked Tonsils, shrugging her shoulders, “Oh, I get it. That’s what you say when y’all mess up isn’t it? ‘Jeece-us!’ “ The few kids who were still in the classroom laughed.

“Well, not exactly,” said the teacher, “Jesus is the Savior of this world Who we celebrate His

Birthday at Christmas time, although He was actually born in early spring to be technical,” said the teacher with a smile. She was tickled since she actually had somebody in her classroom who really knew nothing about the Savior of this world Whom all Christians need to know. “Actually, He is the Guy Who loves you more than anybody in the world, even more than you can possibly imagine. Now, you must know Him if you want to go up to Heaven some day and receive your new, Glorified body when this life is over. You must know Him. I’ll introduce you.”

“Oh,” said Tonsils with a half-way smile, “Where is Heaven? How far is it from Danville?”

Everybody in the class snickered since they couldn’t believe she’d never heard of Jesus. “It’s the greatest Place anybody can go,” said the teacher, “but you need to know Him first or you won’t be going to Heaven when your short time here on Earth is over with. You’ll go to a really hot place where there’s moaning and gnashing of teeth. That’s the most important decision you’ll ever make in your life! So open your heart and let Him come in! Now, it’s easy!”

“Open my heart nothing!” said Tonsils with a scowl, “Now my aunt had heart surgery done on her and she’s not with us any more! I don’t know where she went with such a bad heart!”

The teacher spent the whole class telling Tonsils Who Jesus was and why it’s so important that everyone knows Who He is, more than head-knowledge, it has to be heart-knowledge. Then she told her what would happen if she died and did not know Him. The burning throughout all eternity with no relief for those who did not know Him. When she told Tonsils that, she got quite dramatic about how terrible it would be to go there, but that’s where she was headed if she didn’t repent and open her heart to let Jesus come in and be Lord of her life forever. Yet Tonsils said, “Aw, come on! You really expect me to believe that garbage? Then you’re another hypocrite like those guys on t v! That won’t happen! At least I’ll be with my friends and family!”

That’s when the teacher told her the truth about what would happen if she died and didn’t know Him. She told her it was like burning our finger touching a hot stove, except you’d feel that way forever with no relief coming. She would be screaming in pain throughout all eternity.

Tonsils laughed when she heard that, but then she said, “You’re trying to trick me into becoming one of you stupid old Jesus-freaks! Well, I’m not falling for it! Now I believe in living my life to the fullest while I can still enjoy it! Now, I’m not ever coming back here again!” and she stomped out of the classroom. She was cussing like a sailor as she walked towards the door. Yet as she opened it to get out, she got a weird feeling that covered her whole body. That made her stop and turn around. That’s when all of the congregation pointed their fingers at her and commenced to speaking in Tongues. As Tonsils opened the door to leave, she fell to the floor like somebody had just shot her. She wouldn’t let anybody help her stand up. When she did stand, she fell on the floor again. That was the power of God working on her. After a few more unsuccessful attempts to stand, she finally gave up and said, on her hands and knees, “I don’t know what kind of magic trick you’re doing on me, but it’s not funny! Just wait till I can run! I’ll be running away from this stupid Church! I’ve had it with all of you Penticostal hypocrites!”

That's when she got zapped again. That time she couldn’t move at all. As she struggled to stand up but couldn’t, she fussed, “I don’t know what kind of black magic you’re using on me, but it’s not funny! I’m going home and I ain’t coming back, even without getting any presents!”

That’s when the Sunday school teacher said, “Well, the only, ‘presence’ the Lord wants is yours in this Place! You’re not here by accident! The Lord wanted you to come! He loves you very much and He wants to change your life for the better, if you will just let Him come in! He’s knocking on your door righy now! It’s up to you whether you open it and let Him in or not!”

That’s when a warm sensation filled her whole body from the top of her head down to the soles of her feet. The Lord has a thing about, “soles,” especially when they involve winning somebody to Christ. Anyway, Tonsils was having a major change go through her body. That meant the angels in Heaven were getting ready to have a party, like the one they have each time somebody submits themselves therefore to God, resists the devil because then he must flee, and that does mean, “flee,” because that’s how big he is compared to the Lord.

Tonsils finally gave up trying to stand, and just collapsed on the floor, unable to move. The Pastor and all the congregation continued praying in the Spirit. Those who couldn’t do that yet prayed in English. Gabrial was blowing his horn in celibratikon, and the Enamy had just lost his, “horn” power. He was a defeeted foe. That means the Father, the Son and the Holly Spirit had just teamed up with and that made, “fo’e” people, or really strong, souls, rather. The enemy had been put in his place which is under Tonsil's feet. Later she told the Paster in hr Chuch that she was going to write his name on the bottom of her shoes because that was all he was ever going to see of her since she was a changed creature. “All things are passed away, and behold, all things have become new.” That’s what the Word clearly states. Tonsils had put the hal right into her Hallelujah! The devil received a black-eye thanks to Tonsils, and even though she wasn’t aware of it, she’d just tied a knot in Satin’s tail, which is an appropriate thing because he has total control over the whole world, “knot!” Also keep in mind that if you take God and add an extra o in the middle, you get good. If you take Devil and remove the d you get evil.

The end. By, Cuz Roye.