Where the Door Leads

 As I lay in bed wondering where my life was going, I fell into a deep sleep. I dreamed a dream about two doors. One door was a drab gray color with no ornamentation and it was very old. The other was old-fashioned, but not old and was painted a deep dark green. Around the door was English ivy and the door knob was gold in color and had a light inside. There were no windows in either door, I guess to keep me from seeing inside. As I stood there for a time, trying to decide which door to go through, I thought about my life so far. I was 30 years old, and not married at the time. I had no prospects either and was wondering if I would ever be married and have a family. My parents were divorced and that had been hard to work through and I had not really done anything with my life other than skip from job to job over the last 12 years since high school.

  I stood a little longer and remembered the good times as a child when my parents were happy and we had get-togethers with extended family at my grandparents’ house and how much fun it was to play with my cousins. However, I had lost contact with my cousins long ago and my grandparents were long gone. Time goes by so quickly, even when we are not having fun and I felt like I was missing something important. At that point I decided to contact my cousins and arrange a reunion for all of us in the near future.

  I finally decided to go into the green door and see what was on the inside. As I entered, I saw a young woman  and a young man and some little children. They were sitting around a table in the kitchen having breakfast and visiting. The children were between 5 and 10 years old; two girls, and two boys. They were getting ready for some sort of adventure and as they ran out of the room to grab their books, I assumed they were going to catch the school bus. I was surprised when they came in and sat back down at the table with their books. The man got up and went off somewhere, I figured to work. As I watched all of this, I realized that this the life that I had always dreamed of. 

  As the children went about their work, I noticed the woman go and get a computer from the other room and bring it to the table as well. I approached and looked over her shoulder and realized that she was doing school work as well. She was working on a Psychology class online. From listening to conversations I learned that she was getting her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from an online school. As we moved through their week, I watched her homeschool her kids and work on her own school work and then take care of her husband when he came home from work tired and even angry.  On Sunday they went to church and I followed them there. As I sat in the back of the church listening to the sermon, it was as if the pastor was talking directly to me. He seemed to be telling me that if I wanted to be in God’s will, I had to stop living for myself and start to serve others. When I could do that, things would begin to fall into place in my life, instead of being all jumbled and wondering where my life was going.

  I awoke at that point and lay there thinking about what I had seen and heard. I liked the life that I had seen and really wanted to have that life in some form. However, I wondered what was God’s will for my life. I remembered a Bible verse I had memorized long ago; “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart;” Psalm 37:4. I began to pray, which I had not done in a long time. I asked God to show me what He wanted me to do with my life and where he wanted me. I did not get an answer right away, but I felt a peace that I had not felt for a long time. I went to work that day at the nursing home with a new attitude and outlook and a kinder feeling about the elderly that I took care of.

 That night I was again laying in my bed and I again fell into a deep sleep. I again came face to face with the two doors and had to make a choice. Again I chose the green door because I was curious as to what had happened to this family since last night. The time was several years later and it looked like the youngest child was about to graduate from high school and the mother was also graduating from college. Again through conversations, I learned that the mom was getting her Master’s degree in counseling and was going to be going into a local counseling office to practice Biblical counseling. Sometime in the time I had been gone, she had finished her Bachelor’s and gotten a Master’s in Biblical Counseling. Now she was graduating with a Master’s in Counseling. 

  The husband came out smiling and congratulating everyone, and there was a new way about him. He had been rather surly before, but now he seemed quiet and confident like the man God meant him to be. I learned that he had gotten into some trouble years earlier. That experience of doing time for his crime and the whole experience had caused him to truly embrace a relationship with Christ and he was actually leading his family. Where was he leading them? I was not sure, but I wanted to know more and I followed them to the graduation ceremonies. Each ceremony was beautifully done, and the light of Christ was shining all around. This family had been through some hard times, but had used those experiences to draw closer to God and His plan for their lives. Again I remembered a verse “I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and future.” Jeremiah 29:11  At that moment I knew what God’s plans for me were and I realized that by” delighting myself in the Lord”, my plans and His would be the same.

  When I awoke, I got to work and began to put God’s plan into action. First of all, I made a commitment to Christ and asked Him to save me. I went to work again that day with a good attitude and new energy. The next Sunday, there was a man at church, that I had not seen before. We began to talk and both of use knew that we would get married and raise a family. We courted for a couple of years and then got married. Today, we have been married nearly 40 years and raised 4 beautiful children; 2 boys and 2 girls who are off and living their lives and raising their families in a responsible way. They are scattered over the country, but we get together once a year for a week to just hang out and share our lives once again. I went on to get a Master’s degree in Biblical counseling and a Master’s in school counseling and have been happily working in the same school for nearly 20 years. I will be retiring this year to spend time with my husband. We plan to camp and travel and just get to know each other once again. 

 As I lay in my bed last night, I thought about how different my life would have been if I had not chosen the door that I did. What was behind the other door, I will never know, but I do know that God led me to the right door for me and I have had such joy in my life since that day. When you have choices to make and don’t know what to do, don’t forget to include God. Without Him, your life will be a chaotic jumble of emotions and feelings and always a question, of “ where is my life going?”.