Sun and Snow

It was the first snow of December. A heavy white blanket covered the ground and housetops. It was still early morning and silence rang through the air with the exception of random moments where snow would pile up too high and slip out of the dead fingers of trees or steep roofs. The air ran cooler than on normal snow days as if it could shoot ice through a volcano and freeze the magma inside. People were asleep, locked away in their houses with the heat turned on for protection from any cold pushing desperately to get in. 

Only one person on the street was awake, she always woke up early to stare outside the window. She never left the window until she felt it was time and all she could do was stare. Never did she long to leave her abode. She picked solitude over all else. Her looks never changed once either; her long silky brown hair, lined with gray, was pulled down around her shoulder, in a loose braid, strands sticking up at the top as if they hadn’t been brushed all day. Her stormy gray eyes could always be seen peeking through the curtains, the smile lines upon her face were no longer pulled back but now sagged, almost to mock her sorrow as the happy times faded away. 

No one knew who this woman was, or what she looked like. All they knew was a name. A name that is said with pity as the whole town knows what pain she has gone through. The name Aniese rang through the town at the time of the incident. Neighbors came with heaps of food and self-care products yet, all Aniese saw was the pity they all looked at her with. As if she was worthless and everything was her fault. As time pushed on, neighbors stopped checking in. They felt unappreciated for their kind gestures, deep down knowing kindness was guilt and Aniese knew guilt inspired rumors and suffering. She pushed them all away, never wanting to be seen again. 

This specific snowy day was the same as the others. When the cold gray eyes peered from the window behind the blue curtains of her beloved window, she noticed the children flowing out of their homes to play in the snow. The parents watched from their own windows or the porch, with mugs of hot chocolate and sweet treats piled high on a plate. Smoke billowed from chimneys, filling the air with smells of breakfast and love. Aniese’s home was none of these things. It smelled of mildew and only tea lined the shelves next to her cups. All Aniese could do was stare out the window, and wait for her day to come. 

Suddenly, something caught her eye. A little girl with bright ginger pigtails dangling down at her sides. Aniese stood frozen, curiosity burning through her like a fire in a fireplace roaring when kindling was added to it. The little girl began to play in Aniese’s yard, ignoring the state of the poorly kept home. Aniese did not know what to do. The little girl began to roll the snow into giant spheres, with a wide grin across her face, cold wind pushing through the gaps of her missing front teeth. Aniese stared at her and a wave of sadness rushed over her, she reminded her of someone she held very dear to her heart. The little girl continued her build, the shape of a snowman growing to almost two times her size.

When the snowman was finished, the small girl came to the door. Knocking on triplets and waiting patiently. Aniese’s eyes shifted from her window and to the door in fear. What could this small girl want from her? What could be the reason for this intrusion on her daily watching time? 

Carefully she headed towards the door, gripping the handle and taking a deep breath. A creak rang through the air when it was pulled open and Aniese looked down, her eyes being met with that same wide grin, gleaming back up at her. 

“Uh, may I help you?” Aniese asked, her voice sounding like croaks from lack of use.

    “I was wondering if you had a carrot!” the sing-song voice responded, and when she noticed the confused expression Aniese had across her face, the girl pointed to the snowman and then her nose. 

“Oh, I’m sure I do have one somewhere,” Aniese moved out of the doorway for the little girl to walk in because she didn’t want her to be in the cold. 

The little girl entered the room as Aniese walked into the kitchen to get the carrot. The little girl glanced around the house. The floors were dusty and the bookshelves were packed tight, a dent pushed into the middle from the heavyweight books. The living room had a simple chair and a TV and the fireplace had a mantle lined with photos and candles. 

The photos contained Aniese with a man and a small girl. One photo had Aniese with a warm expression with her right hand laid against the man’s next to her chest. The left hand sat gently on the little girl's shoulder. The man had his right hand on the opposite shoulder of the girl and the other wrapped around Aniese’s hand on his chest. The little girl in the photo had ginger pigtails that pulled around her shoulders and a wide grin with a tooth gap where her front teeth should be.

Aniese came back with the carrot and saw the girl staring at the photos. The carrot dropped to the floor at the sight, tears brimming the bottom of her eyes as she was reminded of the resemblance of the two girls. 

“Who is that?” The little girl asked, struggling to pronounce the S noise because of her teeth. 

“That is my daughter, her name was Blythe,” Aniese responded. the tears she tried so hard to hold back were now rolling down her cheeks. 

The little girl looked confused as she walked up to the broken woman, taking her hand tightly.

“Why are you crying?” the little girl asked with wide eyes.

Aniese met the gaze of the little girl and began to sob. The little girl quickly helped the older woman to her chair and then took a seat on the floor. Aniese then began to explain to the young girl that her own daughter passed too early due to the gate being left open and her getting out into the street. A car sped by, hitting her and she was dead on the scene. After her daughter was announced dead, her husband blamed her for it all. Eventually, he left her and never looked back. Now, here was this girl who was an exact replica of her daughter in front of her and she couldn’t hold back. 

The little girl, desperate to help the lady feel better, wrapped her tiny arms around the Aniese. The older woman blinked in confusion at the warm feeling she got. It was as if this little girl’s smile was the shine of the sun and her hug was the warmth the sun provided to the world. This hug brought back so many memories of Blythe. A memory within a hug that seemed to last forever. Aniese hardly understood, she didn’t know this girl or her name. What was she doing spilling her life story to her? 

Aniese quickly wiped her eyes and looked down to see the little girl was gone. All that was left was a small note that read:

Dear Momma,

Don’t blame yourself for what happened to me. Nothing was your fault. 

Please don’t stay in this old house forever. Finish my snowman for me okay?

Love, Blythe.

Aniese stared at the note, beginning to cry all over again, the note clenched in her hands as she held it close to her chest. The warmth of the hug was still there, how was it still there? Thoughts began to race through her mind as she tried to figure out what to do next. Heading back to her window, Aniese intensely stared at the snowman sitting outside, it had no face. The older woman made eye contact with eyes that weren’t even there. She thought about how she felt like this snowman. Like a part of her was missing and she could never gain that part of her back. She was cold and left behind by people who made her who she was. A faceless pile of snow that would never be more than just that. However, she had a promise to keep to her daughter. She had to finish what was once started. 

Looking at the carrot in her hand, Aniese reached into her closet, taking out an old winter coat and boots. Wrapping herself up. She then took a small coat from the closet and cut the buttons off of it, sticking them in her pocket and heading back downstairs where she carefully picked up the carrot from the cold floor. After shuffling to the door and lacing her fingers around the door handle, gently pulled down and took a shaky breath before opening the door. Another loud creak rang through the house as the door was pulled open and Aniese took her first few steps outside, the cold hitting her cheeks and nose like a million tiny bites.

       People outside stopped and stared as they watched the woman who only stared from her window with her dull gray eyes, now outside and walking towards a snowman. Aniese ignored the eyes until she reached the snowman. Reaching up she placed the carrot right where the nose should be. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out the buttons, placing them as eyes and a mouth. Her eyes filled with tears as the buttons seemed to stare at her as if they could tell they came from her daughter’s coat and were now on her daughter’s creation. Aniese smiled a sad smile and collapsed to her knees crying. People outside came over and a little girl walked up to the older woman, hugging her tightly. Soon everyone came to hug the sorrow-filled woman, welcoming her back into the community she had turned away from so long ago.

      A few years later Aniese was a proud member of her community, gathering smiles everywhere she went. No one looked at her with pity or guilt anymore. They all looked at her with kindness and love. They cared for her as a community and when Aniese lay on her deathbed, surrounded by those who cared for her in those past years. Aniese finally realized she was exactly like the snowman that day. Except not for the reasons she thought. She was similar to that snowman because her cold exterior could be melted away by the simple touch of the sun. Aniese passed peacefully, with the picture of her Sun, Blythe, held to her chest like a warm hug.