Sunshine

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” Charlie softly sang, his forehead rested against mine.

My hand clenched his as a train whistle cut through our connection.

I felt tears rush to my eyes as I finished the song we shared through childhood, “You make me happy when skies are gray.”

Charlie pulled away, shouldering a duffle bag and stepping on the train. He turned to look at me and grinned, his trademark smile unable to cover the regret glowing in his eyes. Was it only yesterday that things were perfect?

Yesterday I had watched the rippling blue water pass beneath the bridge. The splintering railing itched my forearms as I peered over the side, heavily aware of the sun beating against my back. A friendly breeze blew every so often, cooling the atmosphere and ruffling the forest framing the banks of the river. Focusing on a cardinal occupying a branch, I attempted to ignore the tall figure walking up beside me. I heard the creak of wood and felt the railing bend slightly as he settled. The sounds of nature faded into the weighted silence that hung between us.

“Come now,” a deep voice prompted. “For fourteen years I can’t get you to stop talking and now you won’t say a word?”

I raised my eyes from the sun’s reflection to meet the equally bright gaze of the boy I called my best friend. His blue eyes twinkled mischievously and a little part of my heart melted. Dark hair swooped over the top of his forehead, coming to a short cut at the name of his neck. He wore his signature outfit: a white collared shirt, unbuttoned at the top and sleeves rolled to the elbows, dark jeans and dusty shoes. My eyes traced his muscular arms as he shifted more of his weight onto the rail, I forced myself to look away and felt a red blush creep over my face as I tucked a strand of long brown hair behind my ear. He let out a long puff of air and I once again turned towards him.

“Look, did you invite me out here for a reason or is your main goal to keep sulking?”

He cocked a grin and I caught a trace of a dimple appearing in the corner of his cheek. I sighed, smoothing down my skirt in the varying gusts of wind.

With one hand picking at the splintering wood of the bridge, I gathered enough courage to roll my eyes, flash what I hoped was a playful smirk and say, “Charlie, right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off this bridge.”

I held my breath as his face erupted into the picture of joy and he leaned forward. Distracted by his intense gaze, I almost missed the accompanying whisper, “Can I pick?”

My face flared red, the heat pouring off as at the same time, a soft smile creeped into the sunlight. Struggling nonchalantly, I hoped desperately that my pounding heart was silent to everyone but me. With gentle movements, he cupped my face with his hands, his coarse fingertips soft against my skin. As he drew me close, I made the decision. I pushed my face closer to him, closing the gap between us letting our lips meet. Reality faded away. Clenching my eyes, I lost myself in the kiss. The sweaty taste of his lips pressed against mine caused my heart to flutter. As if encouraging our union, a strong wind picked up around us, throwing my hair onto his face and causing our clothing to ripple in sync. Every second we seemed to be even closer, moving as one mind to embrace one another. As I curled one arm around his neck, I felt his strong arm slip under my armpit and around my side, his hand pressing the small of my back to bend my body closer to him. His other hand had traveled from the side of my check to the back of my head, his fingers smothered in my dense hair. At the same time, I reached my other hand to grasp his soft hair, my fingers running through the semi-short stands and down to the nape of his neck. As one, our mouths broke apart, our foreheads pressing together. Although my eyes were still closed, I knew his face held a smile identical to mine. We softly gasped for breath, warm puffs of air smelling of honey hitting my face in a pleasurable experience.

“I love you too,” I whispered and suddenly my mouth was enveloped again, briefer this time but just as fulfilling.

After pulling away once more, I finally opened my eyes and met the blue ones awaiting my gaze.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to say that,” he said, a light tune in his voice and a bright glow across his face.

My heart dropped as I pulled my hands from his head, moving slowly down his arms to find his hands. Interlocking our fingers, I looked up at him, my green eyes brimming with tears.

“Then why are you joining the army,” I whispered.

For the first time, he was the one to look down but I refused to let up.

With a forceful whisper I continued, “Why didn’t you tell me? Why would you wait until now?”

My voice raised slightly, “Why would you wait until you were about to leave?”

His eyes looked a darker blue than before and the cheerful demeanor was all but dissolved by a melancholy spirit, “Until now, I didn’t know you would care. Until now, I had no reason to stay.”

His gaze deepened as I kept eye contact, “Until now, I didn’t know you loved me.” As he finished the words, I wrapped my arms around him, burrowing my head into his shoulders and letting out a soft sob. Suddenly, I felt his body shaking and a teardrop fell onto my shoulder. Crying as a pair, we stayed intertwined for quite some time, enjoying the last moments together we might ever have.

Charlie leaned out of the train window as the wheels slowly started to turn. I tried to stay close, racing alongside until I hit the end of the platform. I raised my hand in a wave as he shrunk into the distance. Tears rolled freely down my cheeks as I mumbled softly to myself, the notes sticking to my throat, “You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”