What Happened?

Bianca sat in front of her Parents grave not entirely sure what to say. Should she beg for forgiveness or stand tall as if she were superior.  It was confusing, she was in the right, she knew that, but that didn’t mean she wanted them to die. Her parents had hurt so many people, killing even more. But did they deserve to die? Sure, she wasn’t the one to pull the trigger but she was the reason they were in the jail in the first place.

Maybe if she had never chosen to be a vigilante she wouldn’t have found out, maybe someone else could have stood up to the cruel crime lords that her parents were. Maybe she wouldn’t have had to cause her own parents' deaths. They weren’t good people but they raised her and taught her everything she knows about running a company, and how to convince people to do what she wants. 

Besides, was she really any better than them? She was still keeping their empire alive, she still runs said drug empire. It didn’t matter that she was hiding behind three masks, two more than them doesn’t change that it's still hiding for control. Maybe she doesn’t deserve the happy ending she’s gotten so far. Why can she live so similarly to how they did, in the same mansion, working as CEO for the same company, running the same drug empire. Truly how was she still here with a kind dad and brother, a loving boyfriend and a city that doesn’t despise her all the time. 

Daniel would tell her that she was different because for all the bad she’s done as Matches she's done a greater good as both Hestia and as Bianca. He would tell her that her parents were greedy bastards who did everything for money. He would talk about how Bianca was only Matches because she had to be and not because she wanted to be, how the fact that she hated this side of her meant that she was different. 

It didn’t matter the worst thing she had ever done was cause her parents death, what daughter kills her parents. The saying is ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’ isn't it?  So here she is standing in front of her parents' graves trying to figure out what to say to them. She feels like she should apologize, beg for forgiveness, or even repent to whatever god was out there. At the same time, she wanted to scream and yell about how shitty it was of them to stick her with the consequences of her ancestors. It truly was a marvel that some assholes during the 1840’s could lead to this much pain and suffering in the 21st century. 

After so long of silence wishing to know what to say Bianca sank to the ground, the pants of her suit getting soaked from the moist grass that covered her parents. How was she supposed to know what to say when the two people she disappointed the most lay just underneath her. They had been raising her to follow in their footsteps, where she was now is almost identical to the life they raised her for just years earlier than when it was supposed to happen. It pained her sometimes when she realized a habit of hers was because of something they had taught her. 

When she was younger she always thought that the reason everyone was willing to do as she said was because they were kind people who had listened to her and saw where she was coming from. What a naive way to look at the world. Looking back Bianca was able to see that it wasn’t people's ability to see where she was coming from that led to them agreeing with her or them donating more money, but instead it was her manipulating them into believing it was their own idea. She had never noticed herself doing it and she still doesn’t but even now Daniel and Peter have had to call her out when she tries to convince them to do what she wants. It hurt so much now that she knew what she was doing. 

Sometimes the skills she unknowingly gained helped her, being able to get whatever kingpin she was dealing with to take a lower deal, it’s even helped outside of her jobs as Matches and Bianca. When she goes out on patrol as Hestia it makes it ever so slightly easier to talk a person off the ledge or convince someone to put down the gun they really don't want to add murder to their list of crimes. Even if she usually had to use her fist when as Hestia every once and awhile it was nice to use her words. 

Maybe she should thank her parents then. For giving her the skills that have gotten her as far as she’s gotten. Though even if they have her these skills they have come with so many issues so maybe she should be angry with them. But at the same time she was why they died so really she should apologize.

There were so many thoughts going through Bianca’s head. It was almost as if the longer she thought the more she got confused. Eventually she settled for her confusion; she knew that if even years later she still couldn’t understand her feeling she wouldn’t be able to in the two minutes she’d been standing above the two graves. 

Bianca knew that no matter what else she felt she needed to apologize. So she did, she begged them to forgive her for their deaths for them to forgive her for being such a disappointment and getting nowhere in life. She pleaded that they would understand where she was coming from and would see that even if she was going against their wishes on the criminal front she was still expanding the Jameson Enterprise and she hoped that her combination with Johnson Tech would help them view her better when they were looking up at her from hell.