I just arrived on this beautiful island, a dream realized of my Mother's planning and my living it.
As not only her daughter, but caregiver as well, I was always the practical one, and Mom seemed to always be the dreamer.
So she asked a promise of me that when she was gone, that I would do one thing, "Live A Dream!"
Actually she never asked me what my dream was, she just sort of chose what her dream trip for me would be and so here I am, checking into a luxury hotel, for the first time ever on a real vacation, by myself.
With a mixture of grief and excitement,and of wondering, what am I even doing here, and just halfway listening as the desk clerk tells me, that I am sharing a room with another lady, a little detail I wasn't aware of until now!
"What?"This Conversation started in my head,"Now Lord,
If I have to have a roommate, couldn't it be a drop dead gorgeous "Bruce Willis" clone, after all it's my vacation!
What A Dream Killer!
Oh well, suck it up, make Mom proud, after all it's her trip too.
A middle aged, Midwestern type came over to me, she smiled and said,"I'm Gennie. "
I nodded and said,"I'm Connie, nice to meet you." We went on to the room, and after a few hour's down time, our group were escorted to a grand dining room for dinner, and a meet and greet, where there were exchange's of capsule sized introductions.
When Gennie and I returned to our suite, after a few drink's she shared a few of her memories, and I shared my heart-wrenching loss, and what had brought me here to this moment in my life.
She smiled Motherly and touched my hand sweetly and said, "sometimes our dream's keep us going." You know until this day, I still repeat these words to myself.
I sometimes see my life as one that was meant to be lived through someone else's plan.
It was never my design to become a caregiver, you could kinda say I was born to it, the youngest of 3 daughter's.
As I became a young adult, Mom's health was failing. I was still living at home and as was the way in our generation, it was how thing's were done, for me to become the caregiver
It was my joy, because my Mom was my world! There was nothing that I wouldn't have done or given for her.
So I will have a good time on our trip.
We had a group tour and visited some of the island spots today.
One thing most of us had noticed by now was, a lot more ladies take these trip's then fellas.
Bet ya never thought about that, huh Mom?
By end of the day, I am back to daydreaming, a lot of conjuring up a hunk, that is here and gone as quickly as a sandcastle when the tide comes in.
So far the only spectacular fireworks, or sudden lightening strike love connection's happening, were in my oh so vivid imagination!
So Gennie and I had become late evening gin rummy expert's, doing our betting with complimentary macadamia nut's, and me having flashbacks of a line in a movie that I once heard, "What if this is as good as it gets? "Mom, we need to talk!"
Well, another day in paradise another beautiful sunrise, and I
I am trying to stay on a positive tone,so I tell myself, at least I am miserable in beautiful surroundings.
Now I am getting very adventurous or desperate,however you want to look at it, that I signed up for a wilderness excursion, and I you can ask anyone who really knows me, that a wilderness trek for me, is the occasional walk into my backyard, but I have a twinge of optimism, and I am thinking that there just might be a Tarzan type out there, in my near future!
Alrighty then mosquito bite's present, hunky Tarzan type, nowhere to be found.
I am beginning to see my Mother's wicked sense of humor at work here!
Now Mom, we REALLY need to talk!
I ask Gennie, " Are some people meant to wander aimlessly through this life alone, what if I have missed it?"
She reassures me,"All thing's come in God's timing."
Yes, but sometimes it seems like he takes forever!
Well, now as Gennie end's her gushing about a message received, I am feeling pangs of jealousy because she is raving about the arrival of her son tomorrow night, and her anticipating going back to real life, the last place I wanted to think about going back to ever!
Now we come to the final day on the island we do some last minute gift shopping, have a farewell dinner, chat's and hugs, exchange of email's, the usual pleasantries.
This was definitely not the Noah's Ark package, arriving as 1, leaving in 2's.
As most head back to the room's,
I wanted some quiet time on the beach, to my favorite place on the island, which I was sure no one else had ever been before.
I strolled along the seashore for awhile, then I lay down in the cool sand, looking up at the night sky, and trying to count what seemed to be a million star's, and admiring a beautiful seemingly happy face moon.
Reliving the month's that led up to this week, and the amazing memories of an incredible Mom that I will cherish forever, and what a lovely week this was, and how God puts people together, when one need's a shoulder and a friendship happens.
Then I just closed my eye's, breathing in the sea air, when I heard a soft masculine voice say,"Hi, You have to be Connie,my Mom described you perfectly. She said that I would find you here, I'm Bruce!"
I opened my eye's , looked up and smiled, and said almost breathlessly, "this night the Moon is smiling just for me!"