But This Is a Betrayal

Sam spoke, “But this is betrayal.” The difference between their relationship on Tuesday and Wednesday was like day and night, March suddenly reverting back from spring to winter.

Tuesday

Sarah speaks:

“I’ve never met a man that is so incredibly excited about having children. That is a large part of my attraction to you.”

Sam replies:

           “Sarah, as you know I come from a big family. All my brothers and sisters have wonderful kids that I love so much. Now I can have a few, maybe many of my own. What’s the use in getting married if you can’t or won’t have children?”

Sarah replies:

           “Well, Sam, they will be mine too. As you know, I come from a pitifully small family, and I want to make it bigger. We should at least have a few.”

Sam replies:

           “That sounds great to me!.”

           They hadn’t planned their wedding yet. They hadn’t even told family members and friends of their wedding-to-be.

The Following Day 

           It was Tuesday. Sam wanted to tell the guys at work about his wedding, but he and Sarah had both sworn to secrecy before they organized everything. No one was to have priority. They would tell everyone on the same day. It was typical of how they did things together.

           In his coffee break, Sam envisioned taking his own children-to-be in the local park. He had taken his nieces and nephews there a few times—always lots of fun. With these times-to-be he wouldn’t have to take his kids back to a home that wasn’t his.

Sarah’s Appointment

           Sarah had an appointment with her doctor that day. She had taken a test to see how fertile she might be. She wanted to hear ‘You’re loaded for bearing’. Today she would find out.

           The doctor had a grim look on her face. This did not bode well, Sarah thought, maybe she was just grumpy that day. But the doctor had just been handed the results by her new assistant and she did not like what she saw.”

The Doctor Gives Sarah Bad News

           “Sarah, I’m very sorry to have to tell you this. But the test results show that you will not be able to bear any children. There’s a technical term for your situation, but I don’t need to tell you it.”

           Sarah was shattered. How would she tell Sam? He would be so incredibly disappointed. He would not wear it well. With a few smaller things, like a called off date, or having to part sooner than expected, his voice quickly shifted into sad.   

           She had to think hard to decide soon what she should do, what she should say.

That Night

They had a pre-arranged date to eat at their favourite restaurant that evening. Sam was very much looking forward to it. Sarah had been too the day before, but no longer. He had no idea what bad news was going to accompany their date. But he soon saw a look on Sarah’s face that spoke to him of bad news.

Sarah Speaks

           “Sam – I have to tell you something that you are definitely not going to like. I have thought about it all day. I have decided that we are not going to get married and have children. You need to find someone who will want and be able to bear your children.”

Sam did not hear or comprehend Sarah’s last few words. 

Sam’s Reaction

           It was like his face almost physically fell. Then it turned emotionally ugly. He stood up and said in a voice that could be heard several tables away. “But this is betrayal. That is what it is. You have betrayed me. I am glad to find out now that you are so flighty before we got married. You have betrayed me, and I never want to speak to you again.

           He walked away. Neither had ordered anything yet, so Sarah waited until Sam had left the building, and then she got up, and walked out too.

Through That Night

           Both of them spent the whole night alone and awake. They didn’t feel that there was anyone to whom they could talk to about this issue. They had just lost the only one they could ever call in the wee hours of the night.

The Next Day

The next day both Sam and Sarah dragged themselves to work. Their workmates knew that something big was wrong. They received no responses or even a rudely spoken “NOTHING” when they asked about what was wrong with their usually happy workmate. Sam and Sarah just turned around, sat in their respective chairs, and said nothing

Early in the afternoon Sarah received a phone call from her doctor’s office. It came with an apology, not from the doctor of course, but from the assistant who had given the doctor the wrong report. As it turned out, Sarah was quite fertile, and should have not problems at all conceiving and giving birth to any number of babies.

At first Sarah was ecstatic, but then she wondered how she was going to tell Sam what had been going on in her mind, and why she had said those relationship dooming words to him. Her workmates knew that something both good and bad had happened, but didn’t feel that they could ask her what could be the matter. 

Sam felt he had definitely been hasty in what he had said about never wanting to talk to her again. He most certainly wanted to do that. He felt that pleading would not be beneath him. The gain would be worth the pain.

Luncheon Linking

           It was twelve o’clock, and Sarah and Sam both had the same idea. There was a place that they had a few times gone to for lunch. They felt that they did not know what they could say to change them back to the wonderful relationship they had been experiencing. Still, they wanted to go to a place that was filled with good memories, a place that might inspire them to find words that would say the right thing to the other, something that had to be said face-to-face, not on the phone or through e-mail. Each thought that he or she should go to the other’s house after work that evening, apologize and plead. But they needed to summon up memories to do so.

           Then they saw each other. Both of them stood up from where they were sitting and stepped tentatively at first towards the other. That turned into something of a lunge. At first they hugged each other, then they both said in near unison, “I was such an idiot yesterday.” Then, hand in hand they walked over to a booth they had long thought of as their own. Sarah insisted that she should explain. After she did so, there were tears in Sam’s eyes. He realized that she hadn’t been betraying him, she had been sacrificing her wishes for his chance to be a father..

           That night they made plans for their wedding, betraying nothing but their love for each other. Some nine months later Sarah gave birth to twins.