It is my first time going to the "Mazatlán Carnaval" without Mami,Papi and Lito.Without them the well known beats of Banda Music I had danced to every year sounded so very unfamiliar. The colorful, familiar,packed streets brought lovely , beautiful, sweet memories which felt absolutely sour and bitter right now.
I kept on telling Papi and Lito that I will not leave Mami's side ,but Mami insisted that her dear Papito should go to the Carnival. I could never in my wildest dreams say no to Mami. On the very last day of the Carnival I told Lito I would go, to which she replied "don't go alone,you'll get lost . Take your friends with you " with such love and sorrow in her eyes, I obeyed. I called my friend "Juan" ,I knew he loved festivals and was going to the Carnival every day ,which meant he was going today too. And yes, I went with him and ten other friends out of whom I only knew Miguel,Rose,Coco and Amigo. I could never get lost and what could possibly go wrong ,but here I am lost amongst hundreds of thousands of people .
At this moment I felt that I'll probably never be happy or successful I always get lost or lose things and I could not help it . I lost my lovely elder sister,my dear grandpa, Lita.I get lost in thoughts and familiar streets.I've lost my appetite,my happiness and am on the verge of losing my dearest Mami.I feel it and I know she does too ,she tries to hide it but her eyes tell the truth , I can see her face getting paler and her fingers getting bonier day by day.But what remains the same is her smile, her eyes ,her calming voice,her caring hug.
I know she's going to lea.... I can't even think about it .But I know I'll have to face the truth and the sooner the better and as Mami said "even if you lose me,Papi and Lito , even if you lose all your money and even if you lose your health never ever lose your hope and never forget your morals, hope can make sick people better, hope can make dreams you work for true, hope can turn sadness into happiness,hope gives you a reason to live , a reason to struggle,a reason to never stop. We give medicines to sick hoping they will get better, we live through dark times hoping for sunshine, ambitious people keep going on hoping they will achieve their dreams and that's what keeps all of them going. World goes on by hope . Never lose hope Papito.
And never forget your Morals,they keep you on the right path and make you a good human . Without morals there will be no peace,happiness and love on this Earth. Remember the morals we have taught you."
Remembering these words gave me a new hope and a feeling that Mami will always be with me and It's my duty to never lose hope and remember the morals she taught . And at that moment I felt as if I could be happy forever.
I started searching for Juan or any of my other friends and after roaming for about half an-hour and seeing several happy and faces full of hope .I finally saw Juan, he was dancing in the most cheerful manner possible and asked me to join him . I happily danced with him ,we ate a lot of food , saw a lot of colorful parades , saw the grand ceremony of crowning the queen, walked on the sea shore talking about our families and future plans our other friends also joined us and as I gazed around me I saw light,joy,color and festive spirit which no longer hurt me, the sweet memories felt sweeter as I realized that I could never lose the memories closest to my heart and I could never lose the feeling of love and joy my family,friends this Carnival gave me to treasure forever. With a new hope and realization I headed home.
After reaching home I went straight to Mami and held her hand ,she smiled and I smiled back . Maybe she could read my mind or maybe see the change in my eyes because she said "I know you'll always remember my words "
and I replied "Always".
She looked so beautiful and heavenly that I wished that she would have the same smile and have the same joy in her brown eyes forever . I loved her and she loved me too but her time had come she had to go , but her love,wisdom and blessings stayed with me and will stay with me for eternity. She didn't slip away in pain, she smoothly slipt away as if just going to sleep. Papi entered the room and kissed Mami goodbye, Lito entered and hugged me with affection. She thought I'd be broken but seeing my eyes she knew that I had remember Mami's words she proudly said "Your Mami is and will be so proud of her precious son".I was sad but ready to let her go forever . Even after this long time ,whenever I return home for The Carnival ,I half hope that she will be waiting for me smiling with love in her eyes and the blood red rose in her bun , but no I never see her but I just feel her heavenly spirit looking over me with uttermost affection and love. After entering the room in which I sat for days with Mami ,I still see the boy with a new hope smiling at his Mammi and whenever I go to the colourful and happy Carnival I am filled with new hope, old memories and joy .
I am not very rich in terms of wealth ,but people say I have a treasure , a treasure of happiness,peace and love which I distribute amongst everyone and still never lose ,I can thank my morals for that.
I am no preacher,Saint or God but I know that hope and morals are great things which keeps you alive , which make you wait for the rainbow through the rainy days and that to happily , which help you be patient and believe in yourself, which make you happy and loved.