Falling snow

Have you ever noticed how when snow falls it seems like everything around you is deafeningly quiet? Like the whole world slows down and there’s no sound. You can’t hear your breathing, or your heart beat. It has a sense of beauty around it really, how soft and delicate each and every snowflake is, yet it’s ice cold. As I was flying through the air my body felt weightless, and my hair was floating as if I were under water. Completely helpless I was. The front end of my truck nosediving into the culvert head on. My phone levitating in the cab along with my jacket and ball cap. I felt the impending doom. I felt death coming for me. And there was nothing I could do about it. 

It was a cold day. Dead of winter in Montana. My family and I had moved here about a year ago and it took getting used to but I had grown to like it a lot. There was so much to do, and for a kid who can’t sit still for more than five minutes, the beautiful outdoors of Montana was perfect, even in the winter. I had been working at a lumber yard for the greater part of 11 months so I had enough saved up to put a nice down payment on the truck I had. It was a 2007 GMC Sonoma single cab. I loved that truck. It took me everywhere and it was great for camping, fishing, and hunting, which were my main interests at the time. My daily routine would usually consist of waking up to my mother and father making breakfast or coffee, and as I get dressed I walk into the kitchen to greet them then sip some coffee and I’m off to work. 

Since we moved right after I graduated high school I didn’t have any friends so the only people I talked to or hung out with were the people I worked with. There was James; who had become one of my closest friends, Danny; who was also a good friend but we never seemed to hang out, and Brady, who was the manager that hired me though I always considered him a friend and he knew if there was a job that needed to get done I would handle it. So every morning I’d clock in, still sipping my coffee and start checking shelves in the store for items that needed to be restocked before heading out to the warehouse for some exercise. I’d take a deep breath of the freshly cut wood and cool mountain air before walking back in and hopping on one of the registers to help check customers out. Then when lunch rolled around James and I would drive to the river down the road and I usually packed a peanut butter sandwich to eat. We’d just hang out and watch the water rolling down the river, and the sun slowly melting the snow making it look like the ground was smoking. 

After lunch we’d head back and keep stocking and cleaning until we closed up and went home. Now James lived on the other side of the hill from me which was about a twenty minute drive from work. On this particular day I didn’t have work and neither did James, so we decided to go target shooting and parking lot drifting to kill some time. It was later in the day and it would be getting dark soon, so I decided to drop him off at home since I knew my parents wanted me home soon. 

I texted my mother I was on my way, told James bye, and headed out. It was starting to snow. Not a lot but enough to pile on top of the old snow that hadn’t since melted. As I was driving it was now completely dark and the only lights were the headlights and the occasional light above the front door on several houses. As I turned onto the long stretch of road home it was starting to snow harder, but I didn’t mind. I’ve gotten used to driving in the snow and with a four wheel drive truck, I wasn’t worried at all. That was until the snow drift across the road. 

I was going over small humps and hills coasting at about forty-five miles an hour when I see this short long snow drift across the road. I kept my wheels straight and my speed steady. In a blink of an eye my front end swerved to the right without me moving the wheel. The snow had caught my tires and pulled my into an irrigation ditch but I hadn’t stopped. I was desperately trying to pump the breaks and turn the wheels but the wet, slick, icy, grass beneath made stopping or even slowing like trying to twist a bottle cap with oil on your hands. I remained calm until I saw this huge gaping hole in front of me. It was the side of someone’s driveway and there was a concrete culvert running through it. The irrigation ditch went right into the culvert, and at the edge of the driveway it was about a six foot deep hole the size of my truck. I wasn’t slowing down any and it was coming up fast. I remember screaming and yelling “No! God no!” But there’s nothing I could do. Just before the moment of impact I put my hand on the roof and braced. Then something I can’t quite explain happened. A very bright flash of gold and white flew across my windshield. I tell myself every time I think about it, it was just my headlights reflecting off the snow. But it was too bright for that. 

As I hit the concrete culvert, my truck did a half somersault, meaning my bed was going over the front of my truck. I remember closing my eyes and the utter sound of metal crumpling and glass shattering still makes me wonder how I’m not dead. I finally opened my eyes and being upside down. All four windows smashed. The passenger side seat caved in and torn. And my phone was missing. As I crawled out of the overturned truck I scraped my hand on some glass but at the time I didn’t feel it. Miraculously I found my phone in the snow a few feet from my wrecked truck. I cleaned it off and called my parents. I was completely hysterical. At first they didn’t believe me. My own parents thinking I’m lying about totaling my truck to stay out a couple more minutes. They finally believed me and told me to call 911. 

When the ambulance arrived I was pretty pale and numb. I had only a tshirt and jeans on. They took my vitals and my parents showed up. I’ll never forget the look on my parents face after seeing my mangled truck, then looking at me without any broken bones or gashes, just the little scratch from glass. The paramedics put me in the ambulance and took me to the hospital to do some further tests. I had to wear a neck brace for a couple hours from whiplash but that was it. 

I was released only after an hour. I wonder every day what would’ve happened if I had still had James in the car. Or if I had gone home sooner. Or if I had made another mistake. But I am here now. And I am happy to be alive.