Eternity is the Color Blue

"What do you think about the clouds today?" I asked.

The sky was a massive dome of impenetrable blue above us. Such a heavy blue, the kind that’s only found in the sky. Its unrelenting brightness only scattered by the fluffy and dense clouds that hung low as if they were trying to escape the sky.

"Look at that one," he pointed at an angle. "It looks like an ocean wave."

We laid on the cool grass in rapture. Our eyes so full of blue they could’ve been mistaken for ponds.

"Why do you think it’s so captivating?"

"It’s eternity" he replied serenely.

"What do you mean?" I turned to gaze at his profile. His face turned upwards, the sun illuminating his features.

I turned to lay on my back again, extending my arms to rest them behind my head. Letting the blue and orange of the sun wash over me.

"The blue goes on forever. No matter where we stand, it’s above us. Unending," he said

So often we would forget that it was above us. Forget to look up. So busy with the habitual and tedious way of life that we forgot the greatest constant in our lives. The sky was always blue. The clouds were always a lazy dream. Unwilling to stay where the artist painted them into existence.

"And just like eternity, it’s hard to grasp how it can be liberating yet also crushing," he continued.

I understood. It caused a bizarre feeling of unimaginable understanding yet simultaneously seemed to enter your lungs and make you feel as if you were free falling. For one moment you think you understand everything. Its invigorating. Stimulated to live when the realization of what life truly means hits you but then you blink, and the security releases you. You’re back to grasping, flailing for something to hold on to, something to ground you only to find no resistance. Only open space.

It was awe inspiring and panic inducing all in one.

"The clouds are us," I extrapolated. "Ever changing and never here for long."

Although the blue sky was unchanging the clouds rebelled from a stagnant existence. They floated aloof above. Never the same day to day or hour to hour.

He laughed lightly. “Which cloud would you want to be?”

"That one that you pointed out. The one that looks like an ocean wave frozen in time. You?"

"Me too. Or maybe that one that looks like a turtle," he pointed again.

I knew the sky wasn’t always the same color. It transcended through the innumerable shades it held in its repertoire day to day, but it would always be the same for us. That clear bright day sky that gave blue its name.

"I can remember it so clearly. Like it’s painted on the inside of my eyelids," he said and sighed heavily. “It’s time.” He nudged me and I grumbled in protest.

Our sky would never change. It was eternity. The memory of it all we had left to hold onto.

I opened my eyes. Eternity vanishing from sight. Replaced with a murky darkness.

“Will we ever see our sky again?” I murmured. I turned again to look in his direction, only able to make out his shape. A heartbreaking silence stretched out between us. The horrifying uncertainty that question encapsulated threatened to send us both into a dark emptiness much like the one we found ourselves in.

“I don’t know,” he finally replied. The sorrow seeped heavily from those simple words. “I hope so.”

I felt for his hand and grasped it tightly. We stayed like that for a while. Both of us staring into the darkness. Eyes closed or open, it didn’t matter, it was all the same in the tunnels.

“I think they’ve passed. We should keep moving.”

His hand slipped from mine. I could hear him shuffling to standing and begrudgingly followed suit.

“Is it safe to light the lantern?” I spoked softly.

“Only for a moment.”

There wasn’t a lot of space in the crevice within which we hid. Finding the crack in the wall only by sheer luck as we were running through the tunnels, my hand dragging along the wall and snagging in the gap. It was just barely wide enough to forcefully jam ourselves through.

The small flame exhaled as it sparked into existence. I looked up from the flame to find his face washed in a warm glow, his blue eyes looking back at mine. The same shade as our sky.

“Do you remember what you look like?” I asked. “I don’t.”

It had been five days since we had last seen each other. We had become shapes to each other. Solid shadows among the relentless darkness that pervaded our existence. I had started to feel like merely another shade of black amongst the rest. Barely aware that I still existed except for these rare moments when we could conjure a small amount of light.

He smiled at me weakly. Only one side of his cheek shifting upwards to stretch his lips.

“Do you want me to remind you?”

I nodded.

“Your hair is still that confusing shade between red and brown. Your hazel eyes look like amber resin in this light. Your nose still rounds endearingly at the tip and your ears are still big.” He poked fun, smiling wider this time.

I hit him lightly but couldn’t help grinning as well. “My turn!” I said eagerly. “Your smile is still crooked, your nose as well for that matter.”

He laughed, concealing the sound with his hand. “After I said your nose was endearing!” he mocked indignation.

I scowled half-heartedly. “Fine,” I conceded, becoming serious. “I think you’re right that eternity is the blue of the sky because your eyes have not faltered. They are still replicas of our sky. I'm sorry you can’t see them too.”

“I’ll just have to make do with your smoggy morning eyes I guess,” he tried for humour. His crooked smile being forced into the appropriate shape.

I smiled back, just as forcefully. We both knew we were frauds, but we tried our best for the benefit of the other.

“Do we really need to move on?” I asked naively, already knowing the answer. “I’d rather go back to the clouds.”

His expression was dejected. “You know we do.”

I took a deep breath and nodded solemnly. “Let’s go.”

He extinguished the flame. I watched as the darkness rose to meet again where the flame had fended it off, obscuring once again the only blue to be found in the tunnels. We disappeared from each other again. Heavy with the uncertainty of when or if we would get to see each other again, we turned toward the gap in the tunnel.

Eternity was no longer blue.