Falling Back Into You

How had I let them talk me into this?

I sat in the middle row of my mother's SUV, questioning how I was in this current predicament: driving home for Grandma Gene's 89th birthday. It's not like I didn't wish to see her. No, quite the opposite, I hadn't been home in nearly three years while away for college and missed the family terribly, especially my grandmother.

Yet, now that the final semester was over, and I was helplessly thrust back into the lion's den, I struggled to contain my nausea.

The real issue was the unavoidable reunion with my childhood best friend, Arthur. Sure, we had kept up through texts and video calls while away for school, talking nearly every day, but that was until last fall.

The start of his junior year at Cockrell, and the first time I heard about Sabrina, his new girlfriend.

After that, he became a ghost. A bystander. Or at least, that's how it felt. What could be done anyway? He was only a friend, a close friend, but a friend nonetheless. I expected he would prioritize his relationship, but the sting burned no less even though I knew the inevitable. It wasn't like he cut me out completely. No, yet I still ached to see him and missed our old conversations. Old hangouts. I only wished my blood didn't boil every time we spoke since then.

Now here I sat, trying not to think about what he'd think of the outfit I chose for today or how I could ever compare to Sabrina.

I wore my hair down and loose, letting the frizzy waves free, and I wore only the faintest of mascara and blush to highlight my natural features. A simple spaghetti-strapped dress in a gorgeous white with pink and red flowers all over it. It ended above my knee and paired with strappy sandals was casual enough to not draw too much attention. Yet showed I put just enough effort into my look for a loved one's birthday with no other motivations whatsoever.

"How're you back there, Jen? I'll admit, I was surprised you wanted us to pick you up from the airport, but I'm so glad you asked us. We missed you lots, kiddo. And you just look absolutely stunning!" My mother twisted in the passenger seat to peer over the backrest, her voice as soft and calming as I always remembered.

I turned to meet her worried stare, "Yeah, thanks, Mom. I missed you guys, too."

Besides her, my father sat at the wheel, peering back through the rearview mirror, his blue eyes just as vibrant as the ocean. His eyes smiled at the corners, "Is there anything you need? We can stop anywhere. We've made good time today, so there's time before everyone else arrives tonight."

My mother nodded, dark greying curls bouncing around her face, "See! Plenty of time, we can always stop by Leanne's on the way home. I heard-"

I quickly bolted upright, the earlier melancholy nowhere to be found as I swiftly interrupted what I feared she would say.

"I heard Arthur's bringing Sabrina home with him."

"No, no, that's fine. I don't wanna interrupt them while they get ready for later. Besides, I just wanna head home." Slouching right back into myself, I stared out the window and tried to ignore the shared look I knew my parents were giving me.

The rest of the ride home was filled with their off-pitch singing, but I focused on passing fields until the soft crunch of the gravel driveway drowned out the radio.

The house looked slightly more worn, its paint a bit greyer as it pealed and cracked at the seams. The cabin was handbuilt and held more than enough space for our family of five. Outfront, the garden grew out from the wild flowerbeds along the porch to crawl up the house in bright vines.

See, Mom had always loved the sight of aged paint and wood, so Dad had built her the home of her dreams, tucked away in the countryside. Our closest neighbors were the Woods', our longtime family friends, seven miles away.

And their son, Arthur.

On the porch, a tiny gray-haired woman flung open the door, apron still tied around her matching skirt and blouse.

"You better get yourself over here and give me a proper hug this instant, young lady!" She pointed a slightly shaky finger at me, her shining smile only getting brighter with every step closer, and I couldn't stop the way I rushed to meet her halfway.

"Grandma Gene! Happy Birthday!"

Grandma Gene swept me up in a hug, nearly lifting me off the ground despite being over sixty years older and a half-head shorter than me. My sundress twirling around us as it caught the wind.

"Careful with your back Mom. We just got back from the last appointment with Dr. Howard." Dad shook his head with a laugh, but Grandma simply shooed him away with a playful swat.

"Ignore him, I'm healthy as a horse. Healthier now than I was forty years ago, but he don't wanna hear none of it. Now, how about we make some tea while we finish getting ready for this party. We just gotta set the table."

I tried not to cringe at the mention of the party, but as soon as I agreed, I was dragged behind her as she made her way into the heart of the house.

Steaming platters and too many sides covered the small island at the center of the kitchen, but the heavenly smell of seasoned slow-cooked pasta and steak filling the room had me clutching at my rumbling stomach.

A weight slamming into my side nearly sent me to the floor, and wheezing, I looked up at the beaming face of my younger sister.

"Aurora! You can't just bulldoze me! I could have died! Look at you, you're a whole head bigger than me."

Stepping back, Aurora only laughed. Now standing at what must have been five foot eight, she towered over all of us women. Her hair, once as long as my own, was chopped into a twisting pixie cut. I hated I questioned whether I'd recognized her just out and about in town.

Would it be like this with Arthur?

My chest tightened, and as I felt heat threatening to spread up my neck and to my face, I shoved down the feeling. Grateful none of the others could hear my traitorous mind.

No. I couldn't be worried about seeing Arthur. I had never been worried about what we thought of each other, so why? Was I just distressed because of the distance that had built up between us? Scared he wouldn't recognize me?

I looked down at my bitten nails. I didn't think I had changed that much while I was away. My hair was the same as it had always been, unruly and curly as ever. The dark chestnut color finally beginning to lighten back out after the cloudy winter. The same freckles covered the skin on my cheeks and nose, and my not-thick-enough lips were mildly chewed. Long lashes framed my green eyes, and my winning personality had never been better.

No. He could spot me out of a crowded stadium as effortlessly as he did through junior high and high school. But would I recognize him?

I tried to ignore the pain that rippled through my heart at the idea.

"Hurry, everyone will be arrivin' soon, so get to settin' the table."

Grandma glared at us over her shoulder as she checked on the last few pots on the stove and waved us off in a rush. Smiling apologetically, we rushed over to grab the closest plates and followed Mom out the back door to set up the large picnic table outside.

The table itself was an old family heirloom that was brought out for special occasions, complete with matching wood chairs and seat cushions. It was big enough to seat a dozen people with its extra-long tabletop and wide ends, and the dark stained wood was beautifully finished with a shine.

It took a couple trips before the table was full of steaming food with a dozen plates for each of us, and just as we sat down the last dish, I could hear Mom and Grandma greeting them at the door.

Their excited laughter echoed into the yard, and emboldened by the rush that shot through me, I hurried inside. My new excitement at seeing Arthur outweighed the sting of seeing Sabrina. My face flushed, embarrassed I felt such a way.

"Jen! Look who it is!"

The words bombarded me the moment I crossed the threshold, but the moment I locked eyes with him, they didn't matter. He was just as I remembered. He stood over everyone, even my dad, at a staggering six foot one, and wore a nice pair of jeans with a black button-down shirt. Long golden hair neatly braided down his back, same green eyes with speckles of brown beneath dark lashes, and an upturned smirk that sent heat through me.

"Jenevieve! There's my girl. Beautiful as ever, of course."

My heart skipped. A fresh flush spread up my neck.

I scanned the familiar faces and cursed myself for asking, "Where's Sabrina?" Even I flinched at the venom dripping from my tone.

He shook his head, smiling eyes never breaking contact with mine, and I hoped I was imagining the way his smile got wider at my question. "Don't know, and don't care."

"Aren't you dating?"

I barely had time to notice they'd left us alone before he stepped closer to me, a mischievous glint in his eye, "No, not for a while now. That relationship didn't work out. Broke it off before I ever got back to campus this year."

I took a slow step back, trying not to let him see the effect he had on me, "Why didn't you tell me? I've barely heard anything from you since you two started dating."

He stepped around me but paused to look down at me, his smile smaller than before. "Why didn't you come back? It was something I wanted to wait and tell you in person. And the phone goes both ways, Jenevieve."

I stood frozen, staring at where he walked through the door, processing every word he said. So, he was single? Why hadn't he bothered to tell me? Did I miss it? I pulled out my phone and immediately went to his contact. I read each text, but they were all as vague and dry as the first time.

"Hey, what was that about?" Aurora placed a hand on my shoulder, "Everything okay?"

I bit my lip, and shook my head, "No. I-I don't think it is, Aury. Did he look mad?"

"He certainly didn't seem happy, no. But I think he seemed more upset than anything."

I nodded, then swatted her shoulder, "And how could you not tell me they broke up?"

"Who? Arthur and Sabrina? I tried to tell you months ago, but someone had to hang up anytime someone mentioned him."

The words caught in my throat. I knew she was right. But why had he reacted like that? Why not just tell me.

I moved past her, making my way after him. "I know. I know. I just couldn't listen to how happy they were. Or to how everyone expected me to be happy for him, when all I felt was-"

"Jealousy?" Aurora stood with her hands on her hips, brow quirked high.

I stopped in my tracks at what she said. Me? Jealous? I wanted to deny it. Call her silly for even suggesting such a thing, but as I stopped and thought about the fire that flooded my veins every time someone mentioned them together or the frigid sadness that consumed me the last few months, I realized she may be right.

God, was I jealous? Had I been blind so long?

I blinked wide-eyed at her, a sense of understanding washing back my nerves at the realization, "You're right. I think I need to talk to Arthur."

Not looking back, I rushed outside.

Everyone still stood around the table gathering their food and making conversation, but I couldn't tear my gaze away from where Arthur sat at the end of the table, a far-off look in his eye that I hadn't seen before.

My legs carried me across the grass before I could even think not to. There was nothing in my sight, in my future, but him and I would let no one stop me from getting to him.

"Hey, Jenny! Come say hi!" My mom shouted at me from the other side of the yard. She stood in a group towards the other end of the table. Grandma Gene, Leanne, and Aurora smiled over at me, ushering me over, but I didn't dare turn away from Arthur again.

"Arthur! Hey, can we talk for a minute?" I gently nudged behind us back towards the front of the house, and swiftly catching on, he stood with a shallow nod. I looked back at our parents for only a moment, but as both Leanne and my mother ordered everyone into their seats and urged them to eat while the food was fresh and hot, I made a mental note to thank them later.

The walk inside was silent, my nerves getting the best of me, but the moment we stopped in the front entryway, he whirled on me, arms crossed. "What is it you wanted to talk about, Jenevieve?"

I watched the tic in his jaw, too scared I'd say the wrong thing, but once I opened my mouth to speak, the words spewed out of me uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry. For all of it. I wanted to reach out. I did, but I didn't want to overstep. I couldn't... I don't know. I didn't want you to hate me. Everyone liked Sabrina, and I just didn't want her to get the wrong idea about us-"

"Us?" I hadn't even realized in my panicked ramble that he was inching closer to me, crowding me against the doorframe.

"You're not listening! I'm sorry for falling off with you. For not coming back, but... I couldn't see you with her! And why did you never let me know? A text. Call. Anything? You were right when you said the phone goes both ways."

He eyed me up and down, his green iris' glaring, "Never let you know? Jenevieve, baby, I came home every break, holiday, and damn vacation to try and tell you in person. Do you know how it felt every time your parents told me you weren't coming? How many 'Maybe next time's? I felt crazy.

"I thought you were avoiding me. I couldn't understand why, but when you dodge all my calls and never visit home, there wasn't much to say otherwise. I mean, it wasn't until I talked to Aurora that it finally made sense."

He slicked a hand over his hair, and I forced myself to stare at his eyes. But when I realized what he said, my entire body went stiff.

"You talked to Aurora?"

"Yeah. I did. She had some pretty interesting things to say too."

"Interesting?" The question escaped me as barely more than a squeak, and I hated the way his answering smile made my chest flutter, but I couldn't ignore the question that had been eating at me anymore.

"Wait, why would you talk to Aurora? And why did you break up with her? You brought her everywhere with you."

He grinned like he had finally caught the rabbit in his trap, and when he spoke, his voice was lower than before, "She knew the answer to some things I needed to know, that's all. And don't worry about Sabrina anymore. She wasn't the right girl for me."

I knew the exact moment he connected the dots. His sharp predatory grin softened at the edges, "Is that... Is that why you didn't come back?"

I scoffed, cursing the heat rushing into my cheeks, "I never said that!"

"But you could've. You should have. I'd rather have missed out on some meaningless relationship than ruin ours. I'd do anything for you. Haven't I proved that already?"

"Arthur, I couldn't come between you guys like that. I've cared about you for too long to do that to you. I just wanted you to be happy."

"So it's true then?"

I looked down, heart pounding in my ears. "What's true?"

He leaned closer, eyes never leaving mine. "Jenevieve, what is it you wanted to tell me?"

I knew I was bright red, "I... God, I wanted to tell you that... I finally know why I can't stop thinking about you. Why I've missed you more and more every day since leaving home. Why I can't stop thinking about you with her. I just can't believe it took me this long to realize I've had a crush on you since we were in high school, Arthur."

He gently reached up to cradle my face between his warm hands, guiding me to look directly into his eyes, "God, I've waited too long to hear you say that."

Without wasting another second, he closed the nonexistent gap between us, his lips landing on mine in an explosion of passion that left my knees weak.

"Oi, Carolyn, get the wine! Looks like we got a bit more to celebrate tonight!" Pulling away, I peeked around the entryway, face beet red. Everyone stood at the back of the house, cheerily ushering us out with knowing grins.

Smiling down at me, Arthur placed a soft kiss on my forehead, the touch sending sparks through me as he clasped my hand, leading us forward.

And for the first time in a while, I had hope that tomorrow, and every day after, could only get better.