What’s been missing all along

It might be a cliche but as a writer that had lost inspiration I had to try it. It was early January and the submission of the first draft of my most recent book was due in two weeks yet I had no idea what this story would be about. I switched through all the TV channels trying to find a topic that would seem interesting. I flipped through the pages of almost every one of the thousand books I had at home so that I would find a worthy idea. I thought about my friends - maybe one of their experiences could be used as a prompt but whenever I started to write I failed to touch the reader with my words. After all, I was not familiar with the feelings somebody feels when they’ve lost a parent or even what it feels like to be in love. Instead of looking at the blank page, I decided to book a flight and rent a remote winter cabin in the French Alps where I could take some time away from the world and focus only on my work. 

I arrived in my little cabin late at night and I tried to call my mom so that I could let her know that I had made it there safely but my phone had no service. I opened my computer and as I had used up the battery during my flight, it had to be charged. I plugged it in only to find out that there was no electricity in the cabin. The only light and warmth came from the fireplace in the middle of the living room that made the cabin feel like a home that you haven’t come back to in a while but once you entered you could smell mother’s homemade pancakes on a Sunday morning. I was exhausted from the flight so I decided to deal with this in the morning as in this late hour there would be no one to help me anyway. 

This morning was one of the most beautiful beginnings I had ever seen in my life. I understood why there was no TV or radio anywhere in the cabin - if you could see this through your window, you’d find the screen of any device quite useless. All I had read about France was the romanticized view writers had of Paris but this country offered so much more than the lights of the city of love. Through the window of the cabin you could see mountain peaks covered in snow and showered in sunlight that were so much brighter than the Eiffel Tower. It must have been hours that I spent staring through the window that morning because at that moment the lack of electricity or service didn’t matter - all I wanted to do was to make sure that I would keep this view as a vivid memory for the rest of my life. Nothing lasts forever, not even the peace you feel when you are all alone and far away from the world and its big cities, traffic jams and people, so I noticed that the time was passing by quickly and it was time for me to get to work. It was time for me to explore the French Alps from outside the cabin and the best way to do so was by diving into the life of the locals. It was a half an hour walk from the cabin to the nearest village or at least that’s what the site said when I was registering. As long as I was well dressed the walk was going to be pleasant. I walked through the snowy path and looked around as if I was in a museum filled with the most famous art works all in one place. I swear that the thirty minutes felt like five. In front of me was a small village that was magically hidden underneath the snow. I walked around the streets and the people smiled at me and even tried to talk to me but my inability to understand French prevents me from telling you what they were saying. This place looked as if it was taken out of a book and the people there were a completely different species than those back home. Everybody was smiling and people took their time to talk to one another and greet each other in the street. Where I come from people pass by each other and pay much more attention to their Instagram feed than they do to the world around them. I entered a Patisserie I found in the center of the village. The people inside greeted and I smiled at them. Would I embarrass myself if I told them that even though I have the chance to be in paradise on Earth, I am here to find an internet connection so that I could go back to my own world? 

“Hi, I guess you aren’t from here”, I heard a male voice say behind me and I wished I could replay the sound of his voice in my head because his accent sounded like the melody of my new favorite song. 

“No, not really. Is it that obvious?”, the answer I gave was supposed to come off as a joke but sounded rather rude. 

“I’m Gabriel”, he smiled and shook my hand. 

“Marie. It’s nice to meet you. Is there any chance you are familiar with electronics because I don’t have any service or internet connection back in my cabin?”, I asked him as he seemed to be the first person I saw that spoke fluent English and he laughed. 

“I wonder what the Internet has to offer that we do not but if it’s that important I suggest that you eat a croissant and give me a few minutes until my shift is over.”

I nodded and sat down at a table in the corner. As I said a while ago if this place was a part of some magical world then this man was definitely the prince. His hair was as dark as the coffee he served me with the croissant and his eyes were as blue as the sky outside. His voice was a symphony and his touch felt as if snowflakes brushed against my cheek. 

“Are you okay?”, he asked from behind me and brought me back from my daydream. “I’m ready to go if you are.”

We walked back to my cabin and the whole journey was silent. I wanted to say something but I was so busy with my own thoughts that I didn’t find anything appropriate to say. I couldn’t stop thinking about the release of the book and I wondered if being alone here was the key to my success. 

“Is that where you’re staying? It’s quite beautiful here.”, he said and looked at me with those gorgeous eyes that looked even more blue now that we were outside.

“I was hoping to find such a place. I’m a writer and I needed an escape - somewhere where I could be alone with my thoughts and work on my new book.”, I said and a grin appeared on his face. 

“I believe that this cabin is quite famous to writers. There is a new one searching for a muse here every month.” 

“Do they succeed at least?” 

“I wouldn’t know. I am not much of a reader. I prefer to live.”, I didn’t understand what he meant by that. 

“Good thing that you aren’t here to read my book then.”, I was annoyed by his statement as it made me feel like my trip here was a lost cause. 

We went inside the house and I sat in the living room while he took care of the electricity and Internet connection. I stared at the fire and took a sip from the glass of red wine I had poured myself. I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said and I was trying to understand what he meant. 

“I guess I am not as good an electrician as I thought”, he said as he sat next to me on the sofa. “I couldn’t fix anything but I’d definitely use a glass of wine too if you are okay with that.” 

“Of course.”, I poured him some wine in a glass and looked at him. “What am I supposed to do now that I am here to write and I can’t even start my computer?” 

“How about you give me a day to show you what it’s like to really live and then you could go back to the city and do your job?” 

“What do you mean by ‘live’? I am pretty much alive.”, I stood up from the sofa so that I could show him to the door. 

“You are alive but you aren’t living.”, he laughed and completely ignored the fact that I wanted him gone. “It’s quite too late for me to go now, isn’t it? What if I spent the night?”

“I think I will be on my way home before dawn so you should go too, Gabriel.”

“Just give me a day. If you don’t find it useful. I will personally pay for your return ticket.”

He was charming and he knew that. I didn’t know why but I finally agreed to let him stay and give him a day to show me what he meant. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t going against my desires when I told him to sleep on the sofa but I couldn’t let him in my bed. 

“Good morning.”, he gently said as he stood next to my bed. “We have only a few hours before you leave and I have a number of things we should do before that.”  

I got up and got dressed. I really wished I had left the moment I found out that this cabin was not going to meet my expectations. I was scared of Gabriel - not because he looked like a serial killer but because I could not say no to him, I wanted to be around him and this feeling was completely new to me. 

“What are we doing today?”, I asked as we walked back to the village. 

“First thing we are doing is getting in my car and going to the ski slopes nearby.”, he said and pointed to his car parked in front of a little house. “Do you have any experience with skiing?”

“No and this is why I believe that we should not do this. Otherwise I won’t make it until the end of the day.” 

“Then we are joining other people from the village in the square where there is a market and this is where we’re going to have lunch. On our way back we are going to visit a place so beautiful that words can not describe it. Enfin, we are going to open a bottle of real French wine back in your cabin because this thing you brought and served me yesterday is an offense to French culture.” 

So we took his car and we left for those ski slopes he mentioned. I had never seen a person ski before and I was scared that I’d hurt myself but as I said, something about him just prevented me from saying no. We spent a few hours on the slope where he tried to teach me the basics of this elegant winter sport. I fell in every way possible but he was a great teacher. At the end,, I believe I was able to stand by myself but I knew that if I fell, he'd catch me so I did it over and over again just so that I could feel his hands around me. I couldn’t remember the last time I had had so much fun and it felt as if all my worries had left my mind. As we walked around the food market, I looked at the people who were drinking wine in plastic cups and ate cheese meanwhile they laughed their hearts out with their friends, families and lovers. I couldn’t help but smile at the beauty of the scene that was as if from a fairy tale. We tasted so many different products and dishes that it would take me a whole novel just to list them all and each one was better than the previous. I now saw food as pleasure and not a necessity. Little did I know that this was not going to be the most astonishing experience during this day. We left for the cabin and as he said we made a stop on the way. This time on our way back we travelled through a road meant for cars unlike the one I was taking which was meant for walks. At some point he stopped on the side of the road and we walked for no more than a minute when we reached a place more magical than anything I’d seen before. The sun was setting and the reflection it left in the snow looked as if the peaks were covered in Christmas lights. From there you could see a few other villages - each one covered under the snow and smoke came out of the chimneys. That view was something the power and beauty of could never be captured with any smartphone or camera. Just when you’d think that there was nothing more magical that could happen Gabriel stared into my eyes and leaned in. 

“I’m so sorry. It just seemed like the right place to be kissed.”, he said and stepped away. 

“Don’t be sorry.”, I pulled him closer again. He was right - this was the right place to be kissed and he was the right person to be kissed. 

I wish we stayed there forever. Up until now, I never had such an experience that filled my in with such feelings that I cannot describe because there are no words in the English language that could explain them. I have to give it to him - the French wine he had opened tasted as if it was produced by angels and sent to the French from heaven. We sat on the carpet in front of the fireplace. The heat coming from the fire was nothing compared to the one that came from our bodies. This day was too short to be over but it was already dark outside and I knew that this fairy tale was over. I envied the people who got to live here. Most importantly, I knew that there was nothing outside of this world that was able to convince Gabriel to come with me. I was never one to believe in love at first sight but this is what this was. If the French Alps were a fairy tale then Gabriel was my prince and the cabin was my castle and for this weekend I got to be a princess.

Years later, I finally understood what Gabriel said when he said that he isn’t a reader because he prefers to live. Books, movies, social media. They all give us knowledge of the world but this knowledge is not our own but somebody else’s. I tried to write about the world of romance, love and beauty but I didn’t know what it was really like. I’ve read about it, I’ve seen a number of movies about it but I never knew how to explain it so that it would appeal to the readers. After experiencing this, I came back home and I finished the book even before the two weeks were over. I believe that every great story ever written has firstly been lived. I still don’t completely agree with Gabriel though. Reading is a great hobby and writing is a very interesting job but one should never forget to experience. After all, we are given only one shot at life and without memorable experiences we only exist, don’t we?