Taking Chances

Veronica

What comes next? A question I always asked myself. A question that I based my entire life around. Thinking three steps ahead at all times, being so calculated, never taking unnecessary risks. That was me. But here I am. This was the craziest thing I had ever done. I still have no idea why I agreed, but here I was. Was it the best idea I’ve ever had? Probably not, but for once in my life I was OK with that. Was I nervous? Of course, for once I had no idea what was going to happen next, but here I was.

What could possibly go wrong? Another question I based my entire life around. Focused on everything going perfectly, thinking everything through, things I always did. But here I was. Anything could go wrong, everything could go wrong, but here I was. Did I still have doubts, of course. Would he like me? Would he think I was pretty? Did I still try to make sure everything went perfectly, of course. I put on that gorgeous, tight pink dress, 6 inch stilettos, and did my makeup for hours. But I knew there was no way to ensure everything went according to plan. I had to live in the moment, I had to be ok if things didn’t go perfectly, because this wasn’t a simulation, this was real life. And in real life, things can always go wrong.  

Erik

I really loved her. I tried to convince myself I didn’t care. Tried to convince myself I didn’t miss her. Tried to convince my friends, she meant nothing to me. Tried to convince everyone that I was ok. I wasn’t ok. I missed her a lot. I cared about her so much. But she was gone. It took four months of denial, four months of promising the world I was ok, to realize how broken I really was. I knew I had to move on. Was I ready? I’m not sure. Was this the best idea I ever had? Probably not. But what could possibly go wrong?

Was I nervous? Yes of course. I would never admit it, but I was terrified. Terrified of what could happen. Terrified of her breaking my heart, Terrified of not being good enough. But again I would never admit this. So I continued to pretend I was ok. Pretend I was strong, pretend nothing ever got to me. It was a lie. But my entire life I tried to be strong, or at least act like I was strong. So I put on the black suit, and dress shoes, added the gold Rolex, in an attempt to convince the world I was fine. I was still nervous but I knew I had to move on. Had to live in the present. Had to stop looking back on what could have been, and focus on what could be.  

Veronica

There was no going back now. I was already in the uber. On my way to meet him, I couldn’t back out now. My heart was racing, legs were shaking, and goosebumps were forming all across my arms. I still couldn’t believe I agreed to this. Me of all people, on a blind date. I never thought this day would come, not in a million years, but here I was. Checking my phone every second, to see how far away I was. Still worrying about all the small details. Is my hair ok? Is my makeup good? I was terrified. 

Looked down at my phone one last time. I was 2 minutes away. Two minutes away from the craziest decision I’ve ever made. Was I scared? Yes of course, petrified. But I was ready. Or at least I convinced myself I was ready. This was the first two minutes of the rest of my life. Could it go badly? Yes but can’t everything go badly? What’s the worst case scenario, I never see him again. I never saw him before this anyway. Even if everything went wrong, I could still go back to my regular life, and forget this ever happened.

Erik

It was happening. It was finally happening. I was still scared, but there was no going back now. I was driving up to the restaurant, trying to block out the doubts running through my head. It didn’t work. Was I ready to move on? Would she break my heart? Was this a terrible mistake? I couldn’t believe I was doing this. But here I was. In my car, driving up to the scariest event I’ve been a part of, trying to to convince myself I was fine. 

Looked at the GPS. I was two minutes away. Two minutes away from possibly the most questionable decision of my life. This could go so badly, she could hate me. She could break me into a million more pieces. So many things could go wrong. This was a terrible idea. But I refused to admit I wasn’t ok so I convinced myself I was ready. Convinced myself this could be the best decision I ever made. Convinced myself there was no way it could get worse than what I was dealing with now.  

Veronica

After the longest two minutes of my life I finally got there. Sat in the uber trying to collect myself for a minute, then got out. I still couldn’t believe this was actually happening. It all felt like a dream, but here I was in the parking lot of a restaurant about to go on a blind date. If you would’ve told me this a year ago, or heck even a couple days ago I would never believe you. But here I was. My legs were still shaking, and I could hardly walk, so I just stood there, frozen for a minute. My hands were shaking, as I struggled to grab my phone out of my mini purse. Then I looked at my phone and saw a message. A message from him. A message saying “I’m inside. I got the table, table number 7. I can’t wait to meet you.” At this moment I knew it really started.

Erik

I finally got there. The longest two minutes ever had finally ended. I was early. Of course I was early, I was always early. I still couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Couldn’t decide if I was happy, excited, or I just made the biggest mistake of my life. But I was ready. Ready to move on with my life. Finally. If you would’ve told me four months ago I’d be here right now, I’d laugh at you but here I was. Sitting in my car, about to enter a restaurant to see a girl I didn’t even know. I was never what you’d consider the patient type so I walked in the restaurant and got a table for her and I. Ordered myself a drink and sat there for a minute contemplating what on earth I had agreed to. My hands were shaking as I typed the message telling her I was here. It was starting. Finally the rest of my life was starting.

Veronica 

I walked in. Saw the front desk, asked for table 7, and I followed the hostess. Tried to focus on making sure not to trip, trying to look perfect. Inside I was a mess. Heart still racing. Doubts still running through my head. Telling myself no one would ever like me, no one would ever think I was pretty. Then my heart stopped. I saw him. It was all real, this wasn’t a dream. It finally set in that all of this was actually happening. 

He was so cute. Beautiful green eyes, dark brown curly hair. Perfect suit. He was so put together. I was terrified, a guy like him, a guy as perfect as him, why was he here. Why did he even agree to this. He could have any girl he wanted, why would he agree to this, I questioned. A guy like him, not in a million years would he ever go for a girl like me. This had to be a practical joke I thought. 

Erik

On the outside I was calm, cool, collected. On the inside I was breaking. I had only texted her a minute ago, but I was already losing it. No answer, was she not showing up? Did she back out of this? Did I do something wrong I thought. I had no idea what to do. Time was moving so slowly, my leg was shaking, my heart was beating through my chest. Then I saw her. This was actually happening. This was crazy, why did I agree to this? This was real life, It wasn’t a dream, it finally set in. Yes this was actually happening. This was the start of the rest of my life, was I terrified yes, but at the same time I felt a sudden sense of excitement.

She was really something else. Gorgeous strawberry blond hair, beautiful pink dress. She was stunning. A girl like her was one in a million, I couldn’t believe she was walking towards me. Why did she agree to this? She surely would have got any guy she ever wanted, why was she here, I thought. But why does anyone really go on a blind date anyway? She approached the table now only a couple steps away, so I got up to hug her, and say hi. Was I scared? Not really, for some reason seeing her, seeing this was all real, calmed me down. This girl was everything I ever wanted, and hey maybe it could even work out.

Veronica 

I was now only a couple steps away from him. I was trying to stay calm, focus on taking this one step at a time. Literally I was wearing 6 inch stilettos after all, it’s not like it was easy to walk. Then I saw him get up. Was he leaving? Did I really look that awful? But that was me, classic Veronica, overthinking everything again. He looked at me, gave a quick smile, then leaned in for a quick hug. Something about his smile, something about his hug, I don’t know, it just calmed me down instantly.

I never believed in love at first sight. I still don’t. But looking at him even in that first, small little moment, I felt something. I have no idea what it was, maybe just blindness optimism, but I felt something. I had no idea where this date was going to go, but seeing him I was excited. This could really be the start to something great, I thought. And heck, maybe for once I was right.  

Erik

Every step she took towards me seemed slower than the last. It seemed like she would never get here. Was it me just being nervous, and time stopping, or was it her. Did she see me and then try to delay the situation. I have no idea, but I just knew I had to try everything to see if this could really work out. She was gorgeous, and I really needed to move on. She finally got there, I’ll be honest she looked terrified. I could tell she wasn’t in her element, but she seemed like the sweetest girl ever. I gave a small smile, trying to calm her down, then gave a quick hug.  

We just stayed there for a minute standing. Just looking into her crystal blue eyes for a moment, it felt like hours. In reality, it was just a second. I don’t know if she felt anything but that moment, I know I did. I don’t know what it was, but I felt something. Something I hadn’t felt in months. A weird sense that everything was going to be ok. A weird feeling that this was going to work out, that nothing could possibly go wrong. This could really be amazing. 

Veronica

I sat down at the table finally. Said “Hi, I’m Veronica.” But of course he already knew that. He introduced himself to, but again of course I already knew his name. We were both obviously a little nervous, but a little nerves never killed anyone. We talked a lot more, conversation was flowing really well. Learned he was 23, just finished college last year, and he played baseball. Learned we had a lot in common, like we both enjoyed watching sports, reading books, and many other things. Overall things were going very well. 

Time was flying by. The conversation was now flowing even better. To be honest I’m not even sure what we were talking about, I was just lost in his eyes. His beautiful dreamy, eyes. He was so cute. We ate and talked some more but I knew the date was coming to a close soon. I didn’t want it to end. As terrified as I was going into this, I never wanted to leave now. We were laughing, having a great time, everything was going great, but of course doubt crept into my head. Did he feel the same way? Did he ever want to see me again? I don’t know regardless of how well things were going I always had doubts.

Erik

We finally sat down at the table. I could tell she was extremely nervous, the dead give away was when she introduced herself, when I already knew her name. Bur her nervousness was cute, I tried to make her calm and introduced myself as well, knowing completely that she already knew my name. We got drinks, and things started to lighten up. We started to talk, the conversation was flowing very well. I learned a bunch about her, she was 22, a cross country runner, and a senior in college. I also learned we had a bunch in common like, we both enjoyed watching sports, and more importantly we both appreciated the little things. Appreciated having a picnic with friends, or we both liked watching the sunrise at the beach, a little cliche I know.  

The time was flying by, faster than I could ever imagine. Everything was going great. Conversation was going great, but I don’t really know if I was extremely focused on the conversation. I was more interested in looking at her, she was so beautiful and green eyes were incredibly captivating. I knew the date was coming to a close, we already finished the entree, but I never wanted it to end. I wanted to see her again, but I had no idea how she felt about me. Yes we were having a great time, she was laughing at my jokes, but maybe it was just her being polite. I don’t know, I just wasn’t sure where this was going to lead.

The date wrapped up. We were just outside by my car. Maybe I had one to many drinks. But I was suddenly feeling very confident. I wasn’t thinking, but hey maybe that was good, this was the first time in months that I was out of my own head. So I did something I usually wouldn’t have. I looked in her eyes for a solid minute, then leaned in for a kiss. Was this a good idea? I have no idea. I easily could’ve ruined everything, but I don’t know if something just told me to do it.  

Veronica

The date was coming to an end. The check was on the table, I reached over for it, but of course he didn’t let me pay. He told me he had a great time, and he wanted to pay, so I let him. I still just figured he was being polite, not that he actually liked me. We were by his car, he offered me a ride home, I politely declined and said my uber was coming. He said that was ok. But then things changed.

He started looking in my eyes, for a solid minute, then he leaned in. I would’ve been terrified, but I wasn’t thinking. So before I could process what was happening he kissed me. Did I see it coming? Not really. But was it a pleasant surprise? Of course. So after a moment of shock, and a couple seconds of pure confusion I kissed him back. It was great. 

I really liked him. He was everything I ever wanted. He was almost too perfect, but hey I couldn’t ask for anything more. I had no idea what this was going to lead to, but of course I wanted to see where this led. Wanted to see him again, and try whatever this was. For the first time I was willing to continue without knowing the result. Heck he could break my heart, but he could also be the guy of my dreams, and I was willing to take that risk. 

Erik

Things went just about as perfectly as I could imagine. I didn’t make a mistake, she kissed me back. I was so happy. I was moving on, finally. This was the first day of the rest of my life. I was excited, so excited. I really saw a great future with Veronica. Could things go wrong? Yes of course they could. She could break my heart, but I was willing to risk it.