The Christmas Feast

Beep! Beepbeep! Beepbeepbeep! Beepbeepbeepbeep! Beepbeep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beepbeepbeepbeep! My alarm went off incessantly at ten minutes to midnight, increasing in both volume and frequency. I groaned and turned over to reach for my irritating phone so that I could throw it across the room (but I didn’t, no matter how tempted I was).

Our family has a very unusual Christmas tradition called the Christmas feast. While some families opened their gifts on Christmas morning and have Christmas dinner in the evening (some have Christmas Eve dinner on the 24th), we have a Christmas feast at the stroke of midnight to usher in this most joyous of days. Growing up, as I remember, our house was the only house with lights on at midnight. All our other neighbors were either fast asleep or passed out from the evening’s party. Even with lives and families of our own now, we still follow this tradition, passing it on to the next generation.

Still dizzy from just a few hours' worth of sleep, I slowly sat up and planted my feet on my basement bedroom’s icy cement floor. I turned my bedside lamp on and squeezed my eyes shut at the sudden assault of light. I ran my hands over my face and through my hair with a sigh. I could hear muffled yet excited voices beyond the closed basement door. So it begins. I yawned and made my way to the bathroom to splash steaming hot water on my face to wake me up and ward off the early morning chill. Then I decided to take a quick hot shower and then get dressed for our yearly midnight feast. I rushed back into my room after my shower and quickly put on my jeans, shirt, socks, and ugly Christmas sweater. When I was finally ready, I made my way up the stairs to the kitchen. It was a warm and toasty room with a flurry of activity. Dad was checking on the turkey every few minutes, Mom was taking the ham out of the oven, Raechell’s husband Matt was putting the finishing touches on macaroni salad before serving it, Kayla’s boyfriend Jared was carrying the potato salad to the table, and Raechell and Kayla were setting the table. They were meticulously arranging our gold-rimmed porcelain dinner plates, bowls, saucers, and wineglasses. We also had gold knives, forks, spoons, and teaspoons. We only used that set three times a year—New Years, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It was considered as sacred as the vessels in the Tabernacle, and the food served on it as sacred as the Showbread. (It was a joke, Shmuel.) It almost felt like the kitchen staff of the White House busily preparing for a state dinner for a visiting foreign dignitary or something. The only ones not pitching in to help were Raechell and Matt’s twin boys, Ryland and Royce, who were busy playing games on their phones. None of us were like that when we were kids. Of course, there were no cell phones back then, but still…

“Did I miss anything?” I asked with an unavoidable yawn. I tried to fight it as best as I could but it was no use. I lost that battle as bitterly as Napoleon lost at Waterloo. Or as bitterly as the Easter Seven lost the Easter Rising in Ireland. I just couldn’t help it.

“Here, you can carry the champagne,” Dad said, shoving the dark green bottle in my face.

“What? Did we interfere with sleeping in?” Raechell teased.

“Your sails are still full, I see,” I mumbled under my breath, nearly grinding my teeth to dust to prevent another yawn and to keep myself from saying something stupid to Raechell’s face that I might later regret. I told myself earlier that week that I would not let her snarky comments ruin my Christmas—or everyone else’s Christmas for that matter.

“Morning, Nate!” Jared greeted me with the same disarming smile he used to woo my sister.

“Morning,” I acknowledged with a nod. “You ready for this thing?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” Jared answered. “So? What should I expect?”

“Well,” I said. “It’s just like every other family Christmas dinner—except it happens at midnight.”

“I see,” Jared said. “And then what happens next?”

“Then we open our gifts, laugh and talk some more, until everyone feels sleepy again.” I replied. “Then we all go back to sleep.”

“Some of us stay up late and clean up everyone’s mess,” Mom joked, overhearing our conversation. We all laughed.

“Hey, we all pitch in,” Raechell said a tad defensively. “I wash the dishes.”

“Whenever you feel like it,” Kayla corrected. “Like, any day now, Rache!”

“Oooh, buuuurrrrrnnn!” I teased with a fervent and childish joy. It’s no secret that Raechell isn’t my favorite sister so anytime she’s humiliated is a victory for me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love her. She shows me love in her own annoying way and I show her love in my own irritated way. That’s just how siblings are, I guess. As the sages of old have wisely said, can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

“Not another word out of your mouth!” Raechell threatened Kayla with a scowl.

“Not at the table!” Dad warned with a stern expression. “We’re about to eat and celebrate. Please.”

We’ve seen Dad upset only a few times and this was one of them.

“Sorry,” Kayla and Raechell both said, heads down, looking and sounding like chastised children. I smiled in triumph. Nathaniel-2, Raechell-0. This was better than winning a court case.

“Now, who wants to say grace?” Dad asked.

“I’ll do it,” Ryland volunteered, raising his hand.

“Ryland?” Dad said.

“Thank you, Jesus, for being born today,” Ryland prayed. “And thank you for family, even though they’re super annoying. Oh, and thank you for the food because we’re all getting hungry. Amen.”

“Amen!” I said with a chuckle, but Matt gave the boy a withering look, which Mom caught.

“Let it go, Matthew,” Mom said. “Let them be kids. They’re only gonna be kids once, you know?”

“If you say so,” Matt said.

“I do,” Mom said.

“By the way, Nate,” Kayla asked. “How come Lucy’s not with you?”

“Yeah, she’s usually such a fixture at this table every year since you introduced her to us,” Mom added.

“Don’t tell me you guys broke up and the wedding is off,” Raechell said with a raised eyebrow.

“Sheesh!” I said. “Jump to conclusions much? She couldn’t make it this year. Her mom’s in the hospital from a really bad fall.”

“Oh, my gosh!” Kayla said. “I am so sorry.”

“Who’s Lucy?” Jared asked.

“My fiancée,” I answered.

“Is her mom going to be okay?” Mom asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Last I heard she was in stable condition but she’s not out of the woods yet.”

“Next time you talk to her, tell her we’re all pulling for her mom,” Dad said. “And we’re all here for her if she ever needs anything.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said. “I’ll be sure to pass that along. I know she’ll appreciate that.”

The dinner commenced and we moved on to lighter, happier topics. There were dad jokes and embarrassing stories all around. We also talked about work.

“So, Jared?” I said. “What do you do? If you don't mind me asking.”

“I’m a teacher at Wilson High in California,” Jared answered. “You know that school from the movie The Freedom Writers Diary? Yep, that's me. Changing one life at a time, just like my hero Ms. Gruwell.”

“Wow,” I said, impressed. “I wanted to be a teacher when I was growing up too. And then I wanted to be an architect. Now I’ve ended up somewhere completely different.”

“Speaking of which,” Matt interrupted. “What is it like being a lawyer? Is it as glamorous as they portray it in the movies and TV?”

“Not even close,” I said with a laugh. “When I was in law school, I heard a professor once say that a lawyer’s job is always 90-10. Ninety percent perspiration and ten percent inspiration. It’s not always court cases and closing arguments. That’s only a fraction of what we do. Most of the time, it really is just boring, tiresome paperwork, discovery, and emails. Nothing glamorous about that, believe me.”

“I want to be a lawyer like you when I grow up, Uncle Nate,” Royce piped up.

“Well then! Prepare to do lots and lots of reading, Kid. And writing too,” I said. “And I mean lots and lots of it.”

“Yes, sir!” Royce responded.

“And I wanna be a doctor, just like Grandma and Aunt Kayla,” Ryland said.

After the Twins told us what they wanted to be when they grew up, we moved on to talking about our dreams. There were topics we steered clear from, like religion and politics. The conversation flowed smoothly, and we ate until we couldn’t eat anymore. We cracked jokes. Well, mostly Dad cracked jokes. We teased each other goodhumoredly. We laughed until we cried. Our stomachs ached from all the laughter and all the food. At the end of the meal, there was so much food left that we had to gather the leftovers. After dinner came dessert and coffee. After that, we all moved to the living room to open our gifts.

“I didn’t know what you liked since I barely know you,” Jared said sheepishly, handing me my gift. “So I asked Kayla for some clues. I hope you like it.”

I neatly unwrapped the rectangular object and audibly gasped as I saw its contents for the first time. It was a thick black book intricately etched with gold letters and patterns. The title read, The Collected Works of Khalil Gibran.

“Thank you,” I said, enveloping Jared in a bear hug and catching him by surprise. “I know just where to put it. I love it!”

Next to open his gift was Matt. I got him a new knife set. The brand? Babish, of course. The man loved to cook. Dad calls him the Gordon Ramsay of the family. After Matt came Raechell. She got a new Chanel perfume. Raechell gifted Kayla with a new Louis Vuitton purse. Then Dad opened his gift. It was a joke book. Just great. More ammunition for the old man. As if his dad jokes weren’t bad enough. Next was Mom. She got a new scarf.

This went on and on until all presents had been exchanged and opened, then we sang hymns and Christmas carols while Royce played the piano for us. Jared and I got to know each other better while we played a couple rounds of chess in front of the warm blazing fire. The twins fell asleep at around 2 AM so Matt and Raechell had to carry them to their room. Since they all shared the room as a family, Matt and Raechell thought it best to call it a night as well. Dad headed upstairs and went back to sleep too. Jared and Kayla helped Mom clean up. As for me, I had a very important Zoom call to make to a very special woman.