Jerry and Melissa

Jerry had asked Melissa, that cute girl from the convenience store that he had a crush on on a date. Jerry mustered up the courage to ask Melissa to go out to dinner with him, and Melissa agreed to have dinner with him at the greasy-spoon diner on the street corner that was near the convenience store where she worked. Jerry gave Melissa his phone number and Melissa gave Jerry her phone number, and Jerry friended Melissa on FaceSpace, and Melissa friended Jerry on FaceSpace.

The night of the dinner date, he was working on a car at the body shop late when he realized he should've left the shop 2 hours ago. Jerry called Melissa to apologize to her and tell her that he forgot all about the date and asked to reschedule for another evening. Melissa agreed to go out with him another time on Friday evening that week.

That Friday evening, Jerry was helping his friend paint the walls in his living room when he checked his phone and realized that his dinner date with Melissa was in 15 minutes. He rushed to the diner, and by the time he got to his date with Melissa, he was 10 minutes late.

"Hi, Jerry! You finally made it! Let's have some dinner!" Melissa said.

The two walked into the diner together. As they sat, a waitress walked up to their table.

"Hello, I'm Charlene, your waitress, our special tonight is a free slice of pie with a Bacon Cheeseburger! So, can I get you something to drink to start out with?"

"I'll have a soda." Jerry said.

"I'll just have water." Melissa said.

"I'll get your drink orders right away!" said the waitress.

"Much obliged, Dollface!" Jerry said.

As the waitress left, Melissa watched in shock and disgust as Jerry wolf whistled at the waitress as she walked back to the kitchen.

"Jerry! What was that about!?" Melissa whispered.

"It's just a whistle..." Jerry said.

"I'm your date, aren't I? You're not supposed to be flirting with other girls, you're supposed to be flirting with ME!" Melissa whispered, this time in a harsher tone than before.

Before Jerry could retort, Charlene the waitress brought their drinks and a basket of dinner rolls to the table.

"One soda, one water, and a basket of complimentary dinner rolls...and have we decided on a Entree?" asked Charlene.

"Yes, I'll have the Club Ham Sandwich." Jerry said.

"And I'll have the Chicken Caesar Salad..." Melissa said.

"One Club Ham Sandwich...one Chicken Caesar Salad...I'll take your orders to the kitchen!" Charlene said.

As the waitress walked back into the kitchen, Melissa scowled as Jerry slapped his hand on the waitress' rear end.

Melissa merely covered her eyes with her hand and sighed.

"Kill me..." She thought to herself.

After a few minutes of waiting on their food, the diner finally prepared Jerry and Melissa's food, and Charlene brought Jerry and Melissa's entrees to their table.

"Okay! Here's the Club Ham Sandwich and here's the Chicken Caesar Salad! And will their be dessert, or should I get a check?" Charlene asked Jerry and Melissa.

"Hold on a minute, you call THIS a "Sandwich"? It's way too tiny!" Jerry said, pointing indignantly at the club sandwich that was cut into quarters with the fries.

"What's wrong with the club sandwich, sir?" asked the server.

"What do you mean "What's wrong with the club sandwich?"??? They're like a QUARTER of the size of a REAL Sandwich! I could get a bigger sandwich at MCDANIEL'S!!" Jerry said with a scoff.

"I'll go talk to the cooks..."

The server went back to the kitchen. A few moments later, the waitress Charlene came back out with the cook who made his club sandwich.

"I've been told you have a problem with my food. What's wrong with it?" The cook asked.

"They're cut into quarters and too teeny-tiny! You expect me to be full with just THIS? Either you re-make these sandwiches in a bigger size or I'm NOT paying!!" Jerry said.

"The best we can do is 25% off." said the cook.

"Well, then, I'M NOT PAYING!!!!!" Jerry snarled.

"I'll pay." Melissa said.

The waitress brought Melissa the Check. Melissa paid the bill and left a five dollar tip. As Melissa and Jerry walked out of the restaurant, an Asian man walked in and bumped into Jerry.

Jerry grabbed the Asian man by the shirt of his collar and yelled "Watch where you're going, you stupid c****!!" and then let the poor man back down.

Melissa turned to face the man. "Sir, I am so, so, SO Sorry!"

Jerry then turned to Melissa, grabbed her arm and said "Let's go to the bar and drink some beers..."

"Why in the hell would I want to do anything with you again after you acted like such a sexist, racist jerk?!?!?!?" Melissa said.

"Me? A jerk? That c**** was the one who bumped into me!" Jerry retorted.

"First you check out the waitress, then you slap the waitress on her ass, then you embarrassed me by making that big scene at the Diner, and then you refused to pay, forcing ME to pay for YOUR food, and then you called that poor man who didn't even do anything to you a Racial Slur! You might as well just unfriend me on FaceSpace and remove my phone number from your contacts!!" Melissa said.

"Melissa, what are you saying?" Jerry asked.

Melissa looked Jerry square in the eyes and thrust her finger into Jerry's chest.

"I'm saying that I'm never going out with you again! Oh, and by the way, Club Sandwiches are SUPPOSED to be cut into quarters, you idiot!!!!"

Author's note: I would like to offer a sincere, heartfelt apology if any Asian or Asian American was offended at Jerry's remark. I was not trying to convey the message that Racism is good, I was trying to convey the message that Racism is BAD, and if a man uses a racial slur, he's a jerk and women won't and shouldn't want to be seen with him. I'm sorry in advance for any hard feelings!