Hero or Nuisance? by Gwen Shapiro

Hero or Nuisance

By Gwen Shapiro

Chicagoans are in awe and surprise to see what looks to be a person extending their arms from building to building.

"Man, it was crazy," says Chicago bus driver, Tyrique Johan, "I only saw a quick glimpse of this blonde... I don't know, chick, maybe... male model...?"

Chicago is in an uproar as this newfound “hero” stopped not one, not even three, but four robberies in the last three days.

"People need to back up and let us do our jobs. So, this masked blonde woman caught bullets with her bare hands, stretched to the size of baseball gloves, but what if a bullet went rouge? Or went through her hand?" quoted by Officer Michelson.

This comment has caused a divide between the public as some believe the hostage situation would have had a different outcome.

This reporter believes this was the best course of action with forty hostages in the line of danger.  All of them were found safe at the scene and were returned to their families, though of course, frightened and starstruck.

Gang activity has significantly dropped as whispers on the streets have been heard, that the head of vicious group Behemoth Fang, Brock “Knife Twist” Charleson, has appeared suddenly in a cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center. 

Reports of a shootout between the masked marauder and the cankerous clan began to flood in. The story is that the Behemoth Fang was moving a large shipment of laundered money and assorted drugs when the hero made an appearance. The masked protagonist raised herself to the height of the towering buildings, according to an anonymous source. She balled her fists, making them almost to the size of buses, slamming them down into the mob. The gang retaliated by shooting at the hero. Amazingly, this defender disarmed the gang with her “noodle arms.”

Who is this hero that seems to have no shape and no identity?

Sources and bystanders say that this vigilante wears a navy jumpsuit made of a leather fabric and a matching mask to hide her face. Any exposed skin is described by witnesses to be a light shade of orange with bright blonde hair. Almost platinum. She is about six feet tall with a pear-shaped body. 

“Aliens. That’s what it is. No one has orange skin. Unless of course you have jaundice or sunless tanning mishap. But then you wouldn’t really be feeling well enough to fight the bad guys,” observed schoolteacher, Benny Fitzgerald.

Though this description is unique, there are many in Chicago that fit this description. Many citizens have been pretending to be this hero for a shot of stardom. Though, naturally, this has caused quite a stir.

The media has been calling this unknown guardian angel, Snapback, in regard to the hero's apparent elastic power.

“This woman reached her arms to the top of the Willis Building! And just, I don’t know, sling-shotted herself right up to the top,” commented Nina Habes. 

This unknown probable preserver has been seen to stretch to unimaginable lengths and holds no shape. Rumored to have not only stretched her limbs to incredible distances, but also went paper-thin against a wall and has been rumored to use this power to slip between doors. 

Many are astonished by this surprising hero and her apparent kindness and heroism. Though sometimes stars are diminished by the clouds.

“Citizens cannot be allowed to take the law into their own hands,” remarks Mayor Ashford, “This hero needs to be stopped before someone gets seriously hurt.” 

Mayor Ashford extended a reward of $50,000 for the peaceful, lawful capture or any information leading to the capture of Snapback. This has caused a city-wide divide, possibly nation-wide as news of Illinois’ hero is spreading across the fifty states as self-made vigilantes are starting to emerge in cities all around the country.

“This is another reason this so-called hero must be found. She is encouraging people to risk their lives and those people are encouraging others. It’ll be a never-ending cycle!” rants Mayor Ashford. These heroes from all over the nation, though, do not have special talents like our hero, Snapback. They seem to just use expensive equipment and martial arts. If anything, in these particular cities, the crime rates seem to have increased. 

The heroes impersonating Snapback have been caught in tidal waves of their new quest, turning each other in and even going to extremes to turn themselves into the authorities.

“They're just wannabes. Our Snapback actually fights crime and does it without risking the public” says comic store owner, Owen Williams. 

Half of the city is hunting for our hero, though the other half is up in arms to defend Snapback. Riots, strikes, and petitions have been flooding the city. The city has never been this divided even as more Snapback sightings are coming to light. 

“I almost got run over by the crowd.” says crossing guard Mary Stuart, “The crowds are all over the city and things are getting hectic.” 

The riots have taken a turn towards violence as fights have broken out in the midst of the groups. A man shook a knife at a woman. A woman punched another. A masked group calling themselves Stagnation are rallying people against the hero Snapback and egging on this violence. 

The group has been vandalizing the city with their name and anti-hero remarks and ploys. Their objective is to claim the cash prize for themselves and to put Snapback away. They will do this at any means and at any cost. The public should use caution when they leave their homes. At a protest where the crowd was about to break into a brawl, Snapback made an appearance separating the congregation into two by elongating her body into a wall.

Masked individuals emerged from the crowd and threw smoke bombs into the public. As the fog began to blanket the horde, Snapback went to her normal size and began to raise her arms, her hands growing to the size of boating sails, to clap the fog away. A masked Stagnation member took out a miniature looking gun and cocked it. The panicked crowd searched for exits amidst the growing fog causing the hero to wobble slightly. 

The member shot at the hero, a blue feathered bullet flew over the scattering crowd and embedded itself into the hero’s arm. The arm collapsed limply at her side. 

As more masked figures emerged, holding rifles all pointed at the hero. Horrorstruck, Snapback, with her one good arm stretched to the top of a nearby antenna atop a building and slung herself into the night.

Gunshots rang out in the hero's wake. Stagnation is demanding the mayor’s prize for attempted capture. The city is at non-stop unease to try and bring this public risk to justice.

Weeks have passed and little to no sightings of the protector Snapback. This reporter believes that the defender is lying low and keeping Chicago safe from the shadows, keeping them herself visibly scarce to keep the public as safe and at ease as possible.