Somewhere along the way the connection was lost

- Where I come from, you see… is not much different from here. Everyone lies here. It's a way of being. We lie about why we came and stayed. We lie to each other in order to have a smoother conversation to each other, we lie to those who live here, or we lie to those who arrive for a short visit, so they can go home with a pleasant feeling. We lie because everyone knows the truth, and we lie because lying liberates when the truth becomes unbearable. We lie because, even among us, everyone has their own self-esteem and because no one cares if your refrigerator talks to you in the middle of the night and tells you to pack your bags and leave on the first plane out of the country... so that you can get here later.

It's not sexy to talk about it, not even with you… You deserve a better story, too. Look, for example, did you know that my father was an aviator for diplomats? I see that you are browsing to find this information which I don't know how it slipped through your fingers. Don't search for it anymore. I will tell you. At the age of 25, my father was piloting the coolest planes only for first class. At the age of 27, he left my mother pregnant with me, and at the age of 29, the three of us were already living in a 7-story house on the ocean shore. I went to kindergarten with private tutors and later I went to a school where only the expats’ children studied. The uniform alone costs several tens of thousands. I became an expert in environmental protection and taught prestigious students at the outset. But somewhere along the way the connection was lost...

I'm boring you, aren't I? You will find in the file everything I am telling you now. I won't hold you back with my bio. What were you asking me? How do I feel here?

- I was wondering how do you find this place since you arrived, compared to the world you came from?

- It seems to me a world in which I make no effort to integrate. There's me and there's the others. Everyone knows at least once a day why they are here and why they can't be out anymore. Then the annihilators intervene and the perception changes a little bit.  Yet, I think that everyone is honest. All of us know that this is all we can do in the present time, that this is how things are and everyone is satisfied that there is a community where most of us are alike. It is true that we lie to ourselves, but there is just as much lying outside. The difference between here and outside is that here lying is looked upon with more relaxation, while outside it is sanctioned as a crime, as a great lack of tact. We lie to socialize better, to be able to attract attention in a pleasant way, perhaps to make a better impression on the assessor, in the hope that we will pass the test. But not all of us tell beautiful lies, because some of us don't want to leave here anymore. So, those will lie that they see and hear even more frightening things, because they know they can scare especially the resident physicians who make the reports and present them to their boss, who in turn doesn't have time to he reevaluates the report and the patients. Thereby, they will be allowed to continue living here.

To tell you honestly, although I could tell a beautiful and pretty lie, packaged in a way only I know how... in one way I would like to leave here, in another... outside I feel completely alone. And here I always socialize, read, drink tea, listen to what others are talking about with friends or visiting family, think about my projects, enjoy nature, it's like a retreat. The only downside is that I miss my family and I know that during the treatment I fulfilled all my duties. I stopped taking the treatment. I know I shouldn't have done that. I wanted to feel alive after such a long time. But somewhere along the way the connection was lost…

- Do you think you would be ready to go outside now?

- I think that any of us is ready, but some of us don’t want to. I repeat. It may generate more costs to the state budget with our maintenance here, but it's nice to stay here too. All the hustle and bustle of the world becomes a distant dream. In fact, not everyone can go outside. There are those who really want to leave, get out, escape at any cost. But most of the time those are the ones who should not be left out under any circumstances. Those who say they are fit to live outside are the most dangerous to society. They are the most aggressive. Those are the ones who must stay here, but in their rooms, not with the rest of us, in the garden.

 - OK. Our meeting takes a break today and we will meet again on a date that will be communicated to you these days by my colleagues.

- Sure. I'm waiting for you anytime.  Have a pleasant evening.

**two months later**

- Skye, I would like to inform the Professor that my report on Blake is favorable. For the last three months, the parameters were respected, the doses of sedatives and anxiolytics have been reduced and there has been no incident with either the nurses or the other patients. Blake passed the polygraph test. Blake has every chance to rehabilitate within the society and Blake deserves a second chance.

Somewhere along the way the connection was lost and Blake no longer had contact with reality, but they understand perfectly the situation. You know they didn't do any harm to the travelers at the airport, after all.

On the other hand, you also know that funds are limited and the new regulations push for the release of as many places as possible. Blake really isn't a violent person. What do you think?

- Noah, I don't know if you heard the rumors, because you were on vacation...

- Relating to?

- Relating to you. Or regarding the professor. The thing is, he hasn't been feeling great lately and hasn't been able to make it to the center every day. Apparently, management pressured him to name a replacement as soon as possible.

- A replacement name?

- Yes. And rumor has it that name is yours. I can't believe you didn't know anything.

 - I swear to you. But you took me too by surprise. I have to call the Professor.

- I’d rather not do that. He doesn't really answer anymore. Expect to be called today, tomorrow, these days, and weigh well whom you send out. As for Blake, what can I say... mixed feelings. Indeed, I would have called the Professor, also.

- Thank you for your honesty, I have always appreciated your collegiality and the friendship I have with you is forever. But I've decided, I think Blake deserves a second chance.

**a week later**

- Hi, Noah! Can I come in for a few minutes?

- Sure. What question! Let's not formalize.

- I received a note from high up that they want to send four inmates with manic, psychotic episodes. We have to answer them. And in other news, we got the report from Blake's home country on his background. The Professor asked for it two months ago. He is wanted for murder. On their family. I'm sorry I wasn’t more precise when you asked. Do you think we can still find Blake?

- Skye, tell me you're kidding... Wait a second, please (the red line is ringing).

- Yes, please, this is Noah (listening).

***Conversation ends. Noah hangs up the receiver.

- Skye, the Professor was found murdered in his flat...