The Failure of the Order

The Failure of the Order

Matt Savarese

Paranoia, like a needle scraping along coarse metal, seethed in my mind. They looked at me with conspiracy seated in their eyes. Dignitaries, generals, liars and cheaters. All demons from hell whose ambitions did not differ from my own.

I stood before the council to give my address. My palms flooded as I grasped the podium. 

“Members of the council,” I swallowed my nervousness, “As we know… the 1st and 2nd Armies failed to penetrate our enemy’s defenses.” I quivered before I said, “An abject failure that I will not tolerate.” Their stares of detestation were the result of these strategic losses, though they were incurred through no fault of my own, so I believed.

“We… we will hold those responsible to the highest punishment administrable.” I swore I could feel crosshairs hovering over my forehead. My knees shook as the feeling of someone’s finger slowly squeezing the trigger grabbed a hold of me. Suddenly, the knowledge of our enemy’s successful counterattack held stage in my mind. I felt that my body may have morphed into an image of it. 

“Our enemy,” I grinded my teeth and drank sweat that had dripped from my forehead to my mouth, “our enemy… will feel the… the wrath of my- their failure to capitulate to the Order.” A Freudian slip they would not forget. 

I reminisced over my decisions to invade our enemy from the north. Two armies to secure the plains between us, one army to distract them from the east and a fleet to hold them in the gulf. All arrogant decisions I made in opposition to my best commanders. Their push eastward felt like the knife that would soon plunge deep into my back. 

We had everything, I thought. Numbers, technological superiority, the element of surprise. Our enemy proved more than great. Secretly I admired their resilience, but feared their resolve. Maybe these demons could sense this and saw it as weakness. 

“Our forces m-must be reorganized. N-new leads-leaders must be installed.” My eyes widened in fear as I saw movement up on the top floor of the theater. I faltered and trembled as my mind racked me with an instinct to run. The crowd turned, looking up at the rafters where my eyes had melded to. I fell into a pit of darkness, blighted by my failures and the potential loss of power. Power… I lusted at the thought. 

“I regret to announce that… I must be going.” The demons became unsettled at my statement. 

“I-I-I must go before-before I-” A noble stood from his seat and cursed me.

“Coward! Face us with dignity!” He belted.

“Fool in a high tower!” Yelled another.

“You’ve failed us!” Taunted yet another. 

The uproar became thunderous and I was crippled by it. I hunched over like a hag and held my hands out to shield myself. My world began to spin and in it went flying everything that I worked for. The breakdown of my psyche was imminent and I could feel my heart racing to meet its pace. Without warning, I felt a sharp pain in my chest that radiated to my left shoulder. I’ve been shot, I thought. I pressed my chest then held out my hand to find blood, but my hand was dry. I felt as though I was falling yet the floor remained intact. 

I sobbed as my world turned black and my power dissipated. The void was hungry for my repentance but I had none to give.

The end.