Aircraft 478

Scientist’s Log: Day Four in Deep Space. Damien Powell and Marcus DeMont presiding over Aircraft 478. Currently passing through Neptune’s galaxy. Food levels are high, air quality is normal. Marcus DeMont is manning the ship while I, Damien Powell, run tests. Life on Earth as was once known has forever changed due to the climate crisis, and a planet must be found for the human race to inhabit. It is up to us two men to find such a planet, and this log is meant to capture our journey. It is our hope that if this journal ever comes into the hands of an extraterrestrial being that they will be able to assist our planet and that it will not be too late.

Pilot’s Log: Day Four. I figure that if Powell gets to keep a diary, then I get one too. Only problem is that bringing a journal wasn’t in my briefing, so I guess we’ll just have to share. Seriously, are there any fun scientists out there?! This guy is a real bore. Why does he need to run test after test? It’s space! Until we get near any planets, all of his data is going to be the same. He says he’s looking for ‘abnormalities’, but so far, from Earth to here, nothing has been different. He needs to get a grip.

Scientist’s Log: Day Six. Please disregard the above entry. Let us just say that the astronaut paired with me on this mission is not, one might say, the most mature of people. Comedy can be an amusing distraction, but a distraction all the same. This mission is invaluable to the human race, may I remind Damien and everyone else reading this log. From this point forward I see that I will have to keep this journal in a secret place in order to preserve its integrity. 

In any case, we are nearly at Pluto. Of course we know that the only possible inhabitable planet this close to Earth, Mars, was destroyed last decade by the Race to Space Part II, by the United States and Russia. What’s left of them, anyway. The war left both sides absolutely desolate. As our oceans are expanding and the climate is far beyond repair, it is imperative that my partner and I find a solution, and quickly. With this purpose always in mind, I will continue to put up with my partner’s antics and carry on.

Pilot’s Log: Day 13. Finally I find the journal! I’ll give it to you, Powell, you picked a pretty good spot. I would never have looked in your diaper pile if I didn’t think that you had hidden snacks in there. Lo and behold, instead of a tasty treat I find this notebook! 

We’re way past Pluto at this point. A couple hundred life years away actually, and just a few hours ago we stumbled upon a potentially inhabitable planet. Just so it’s documented, I wanted to hop right down there and see what was what. There’s no detectable life, it’s got a breathable atmosphere, it’s perfect! It’s a smidge smaller than Earth, but it’s less destroyed, so that should be enough. Not everyone is going to fit here, but the majority will.

But noooo. Powell has to run a thousand and one tests before we even think about going out there. I swear, he’s not one for adventure in the slightest. It’s been sixteen hours and we’ve only been in the planet’s orbit. I want to touch ground! There’s no telling what tests he can run on the surface, but he won’t hear reason. If he’s still doing tests in two hours, I’m forcing him out there. I figure he’s more expendable at this point, since we have all of his data saved and we can’t get home without me, so when he isn’t looking I’ll just kick him out for a little while and see what happens. It’ll be great!

Scientist’s Log: Day 14. Can you believe it?! Kicked out of the ship when we make the discovery of a lifetime! Those tests are necessary for MANKIND! They are not silly, or repetitive, as you say, Damien. Why did I have to lose the bet at NASA to come out to dead space with this man? He is infuriating.

To give him credit, though, (not as if he deserves it) pushing me out of the ship against my will did, in fact, help my tests be less open ended. We have discovered, finally, an inhabitable planet! Humankind is saved! For the most part, anyway.

About three billion people will be left behind. It’s something for someone else to figure out, as cold as that sounds. I have one suggestion on a sacrifice, if anyone is interested in hearing me out…