Train to Cali

Hey Tom,

I'm writing this letter I guess, or just thoughts on my train ride to Cali. Thinking of you. The conductor said I have about four hours left until I arrive. He was nice enough to give me a couple of papers and a pen. I hate typing on my phone. It's raining right now; I like it, it's relaxing. You know this is my first time riding a train. I mean, like, wow, spoiled rich girls are always using Uber. By the way, Uber costs over three hundred dollars to get to you.

No, Thank You!

Iris

Hey Tom,

It's me again. The closer I am arriving, the longer the train ride feels. I can't sleep either. The conductor offered me a cocktail, which I gladly accepted.

I never thought a situation like this could occur for us. You know, I don't even know how to accept it. I have so many emotions right now. 

With Love Iris 

Tom,

I know we went through so many things, but believe me, I didn't want to go that route. But I felt at that moment it was the only way for me to escape. I did think about you all that time. But you never talked to me after the divorce, and I just thought you moved on. I thought you would be better. I know you're going to go through this; you're tough. You may be hard-headed, but your character is tough. 

***

"May I sit?" a woman no older than sixty approached Iris. 

"Yes, of course." Iris moved her jacket and placed it on top of the bunker.

For a good hour, they didn't speak to each other. 

The women broke the silence. "Where are you headed to? If you don't mind me asking?"

"It's okay, visiting my ex-husband in California. How about you?" Iris asked.

"Oh my, ex-husband. And to go back to visit? Must be serious." She was silent for a minute. Then she spoke again. "I'm heading back home. I was recently visiting my sister. We just celebrated her birthday. Well, whatever you are visiting your ex-husband, I hope it all works out. How does your new husband feel about it?"

"I never remarried. It's actually due to illness…cancer…" 

"Oh my, I pray he makes a quick recovery."

Iris started staring by the window. "That's the thing, there is no recovery. It's stage 4 liver cancer. What's crazy is I just found out yesterday by phone."

"Heavy drinker, I never married, never fell in love. But when you see him. Show that spark of love you both had in the beginning. It will make all the difference."

"You know when we filed for divorce. That passion of love was still there. But I needed to get away from that relationship. It was constant physical and verbal abuse. Now, after all these years, not one word, and I get this call. I sometimes wonder if I should have given him more chances; maybe he could've turned around?"

"Sometimes you change the action, but the character remains the same deep down."

Hey Tom,

I just want you to know that I always loved you. I needed to leave for myself. A cup you kept filling, it eventually spilled. I never wished this upon you, not even to my worst enemy. My heart was shot when I got that call. I got on the first train ride to see you. I'll be there soon, Tom.

It's raining, Tom, which I hate. I'll be there in two hours, and as soon as I come down, I'm grabbing an Uber to the hospital. All I'm thinking of is our time together; I'm trying to think of the positives.

Remember that one Christmas when we were visiting your parents and we bought a cake? When we arrived, you dropped the cake as soon as you got home. That was a pretty expensive cake. Your mom ended up making banana bread; she burned it a little.

You have such a good heart, Tom. You always made me laugh. You could turn any situation into a positive one, and I loved that about you. 

Oh god, I remember when our car broke down in the middle of the highway. While we waited for Triple-A, you ordered food and delivered it on the highway only because I was hungry.

I loved you, Tom

"What are you writing?" the woman asked.

"Just some inner thoughts, it helps me stay relaxed in tense situations."

"God is mysterious, one day you're breathing and next you're not in this world again. Have a drink with me. To your ex-husband, I pray he makes it out of this. May you both find that connection again."

Iris thanked her, and for the first time today, she smiled. 

The train conductor shouted, "One more hour to California. We will be handing out final snacks!"

"I hope the weather clears, absolutely dreadful."

Tom, 

I am very near you, and the closer I get, the more anxious I get. 

I can't wait to see you.

"Any children?" the woman asked.

"No, I can't have children."

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear." 

"It's okay; I'm actually adopting this year, going through the paperwork.

***

Tom sat on the hospital bed, waiting for Iris. When a knock came on the door, but it wasn't Iris.

"Mom", Tom said.

"Tom listen to me," she looked concerned, and it scared Tom. "It's Iris…"

"She didn't show, did she? I knew she wouldn't. I told you it was a waste." He coughed loudly.

"No, she isn't here. But it's not what you think."

"What do you mean? The only person that loved me didn't even come to see me."

"Tom, when I spoke to her, she said she was going to the next train from Seattle to Cali." She handed Tom a newspaper. "Read this…"

Tragic Train Crash, Seattle to California, Seventy-Six Dead.

Tom didn't speak; he threw the newspaper to the ground. 

Iris never saw Tom