Wishing you love, luck and a happy life

I was raised in a house that is now a cage of energy that composes memories. I left the world exactly a decade ago, and until now, I didn't have the courage to return to my hometown. However, today is a special day, besides the fact that's my death's anniversary, it is also my wife's birthday. Hathor - her parents named her like that after the Egyptian goddess of happiness, maternity and love, curiously, she was one of several goddesses who were believed to help deceased souls in the afterlife- was the one and only love of my life, that may sound a bit cliché, but if you consider the fact that I died at the age of twenty-six, my certainty toward the statement makes more sense. Hathor repeatedly said that thirty-five was a special age, her justification was that when she was a child, she always thought that by that age she'll have at least one baby, a stable job as an astronomer, and a loving partner, everything she needed to be successful in her eyes. Today she is turning thirty-five, and I desire with the little life I have left in my ghostly body to go check on her and leave all my worries behind by seeing her with the life she dreamed of. I know she will have it. 

When I enter the neighborhood, I'm able to identify better than ever how this place made me. To my left, near the entrance, there's the monkey bars I never knew how to pass. I remember my father graving me by the waist and helping me go through, thats the closest I ever was to making it. One night I was frustrated and crabbed, all the kids in my grade were able to swing on the monkey bars except me, a really silly bad mood if you look back, I was probably ten or less, but still, I was sad about it. My mom heard me crying, and I told her how useless I felt, she proceeded to say: “humans are not made to be good at everything, nonetheless, that does not give you the right to restrict yourself from trying everything your mind desires. Be curious, explore and experience, just don't focus on doing every single thing perfect, instead, put your energy on learning something of each action. On the other hand of this lesson, my lovely son, surrender will never help you to evolve, if you really want to get somewhere in life, never be scared to fail. Failing is being a step closer to making it, yet, know which activity is worthy of your dedication” Beautiful words I ignored as my mind was too limited to comprehend, but they came back and helped me a lot during the college admission process and high school in general. 

To my right, there's a seesaw, why haven't they changed the games? It is literally the same one I felt off and got the scar I have in my hand. Im able to recall the first time someone pointed it out. It was Rachel, my then crush. We were on a “date” watching a movie, siting in my couch, and she went to grab my hand. “Why do you have a scar?” I did not want to say “I landed on my hand one time that I fell off a seesaw” that would have been lame, so instead I said: “One day, I was walking alone at night and this weird robber tried to steal my phone, he cut my hand with a knife and I punched him so hard with my other hand that he left crying” How did I expect anyone to believe that? She replied: “You are so brave” and kissed me in the cheek. Everything would have been perfect if it wasnt for my big brother who overheard the conversation and shouted “He is just lying to get your attention, he just fell off a stupid playground game” That was the instant I learned that lying to impress chicks would never work out. 

As I walk towards my house - the last one in the street - I relive the first day we arrived. I was really young, our last home was actually an apartment and this house had not two, but three floors, consequently, I was more than exited. At the exact same second that the door was opened, I looked at my dad and asked him if I could keep the house when I was old enough, he probably thought I was kidding until the day he and my mom moved out, they were waving goodbye at me and Hathor while the keys of the house were resting in my hand. 

The outside looks the same as the last day I stepped out of here, the only difference is the Halloween decorations. It is the first week of October and the house is already dressed with skeletons, spider webs and fake blood. It would surprise me if I didn't know my girl. Hathor has always been a fan of Halloween, I would be lying if I said I've always been one too. When I was around the age of fifteen, one of our neighbors turned their home into a hunted house. I was so enthusiastic about going, which was strange since I wasn’t really a horror fanatic, but I knew that going meant spending time with my big brother that was leaving for university soon. Little did I know that my neighbors went crazy with the production, they even hired actors that were there to pretend they were evil clowns and serial killers. In conclusion, I was terrified. I remember how I literally had to sleep with my parents for a whole week and couldn’t watch scary movies for at least a year. I guess I've always been a sensible guy. 

Well, so when I told Hathor this anecdote, she promised me to decorate our house the scariest she could every year for the entire month. Her presumed propose was from me to associate things that I was scared of, with something I loved - My house - but I strongly believed she just wanted to mess with me. My theory was corroborated when Hathor announced the annual scare competition. Basically, we had one month - October - to prepare the biggest scary prank we could on each other. Being able to do childish things as a grown-up adult with the girl of my dreams made the little life I had sufficiently fulfilling. 

Im anxious to get in. I yearn more than anything to step inside and see a little version of my lover, probably named Asteria  - Greek goddess of falling stars -  running around the house, or maybe a tiny dude named Poseidon - God of the sea - What if she is pregnant? I bet she looks gorgeous growing a human in her tummy. Furthermore, I want to enter and see degrees and diplomas all over the walls, she must be the best at her job. Lastly, I want to see a loving husband wrapping his arms around her and telling her how proud he is, I need him to know and love everything about her. I selflessly wish this, she deserves a happy ever after, however, it will hurt. It will burn to know that when she blows the candles, she will be wishing to be with him forever, not me, like she used to do when we were together. Seeing her again will be a stab in the heart, yet, I genuinely need to make sure she is okay. Hathor gave me everything, and now I'm unable to give her anything, thats why, I have to see someone else givings her back what she gives to the rest, so I can finally rest in peace.

The very first thing I see, is a new couch. The last one had dog pee all over it from my first pet. We never changed it because the stains formed interesting shapes that “gave the sofa a peculiar vibe”, plus it didn't really smell, some way, I convinced her to keep it, but I completely understand why it's not here anymore. The second change I realize is the new company my old drawings have. The wall that divides the kitchen with the living room was the “muswall” meaning museum-wall. I was “the artist” of the family, so my best pieces since I was a kid till the day I died were hanged in this wall, they still are, but now, they are surrounded by kids drawing. They are not my kids, so I'm not forced to say they are great, regardless of that, they are actually pretty good for what I think is a five-year-old. My heart is full of joy, I've always wanted my creations near the art of my offspring, now they kind of are. 

I would have keep exploring if it wasn't for the party going on in the kitchen, I hope I'm invited. When I enter, theres a happy family sitting down in the table, waiting for the father to bring the cake. I feel a path of water running down my cheek. Theres a little girl with curly brown hair and green eyes, just like her mother. She is covered in my blanket, the one I used my hole childhood, that must stink, but I won't lie, it's lovely. 

“Asteria” - Her voice sounds just as I remember, also, I guess the name, I still know my darling - “Go wash your hands before eating please”

The kiddo leaves. Simultaneously, the man go and kisses Hathor in the cheek. He is tall, blond, and has glasses, really handsome, yet the most predominant feature is a scar that crosses his left eye… I know that scar. Tomas. We went to school together, we werent close friends, thought. I remember he was the best grade in every test, and also kind of the teacher's pet. Tom was, well, probably is, very polite and sweet. One time I failed a huge assignment, he helped me study for the “second chance test” no one asked him to, he simply volunteered. Im relived he is the one taking care of my girl. 

This is the first time I see Hathor since I’m no longer able to see her every morning by my side. Even after ten years, she is still the most ethereal human I've ever seen. Her hair is longer and still very curl; Her eyes have grown wrinkles around them that make her look more mature and real, I wish I could kiss them; Her outfit is another ridiculous pajama of Disney, she has tons of them; Finally, I stare at her smile, is genuine and pure, just as I wished. 

There is something new on her body. A tattoo. On the garden, dandelions are really abundant. Each Sunday, during the golden hour, we had a tradition to lay on the grass and meditate together. Once we finish, I'd grab a dandelion, say “wishing you love, luck and a happy life” - “you” meaning Hathor - and blow. Now, her forearm has a dandelion in it with the quote “wishing you love, luck and a happy life” under it. Of course, is written with the typography “caveat”, I always hated it, and she made fun of me for being the only human being in the planet able to despite a typography. I love her so much. 

Asteria is back, and the candles are already lit.

“I love you guys so much, but would you mind giving me a second alone with the cake, please?” - Her eyes are watery 

“Sure love, come here darling” - Tom grabs the child and leaves.

“Darling” - She begins to say - “I’m sure you are somewhere in here as a supernatural being, I know you didn’t forget my special birthday” - She exhales letting out some tears - “I… I need you to know…that I’m okay, I’m happy. However, that doesn't change the fact that I miss you every single day, and no other person will ever replace you. I… I know you’d want me to move on, and I'm trying my best, but…god I miss you” - She covers her face with her hands - “I’m not living without you, I’m living for you” - I can't physically hug her, so I am laying my deadly ghostly head on her arm - “I love you” - I love you too - “Come blow the candles with me and let's wish our souls are always together”

I do so.