Odd ball Emily

Odd ball Emily

“Speak now.”

Emily felt a nudge and looked up at her mum who was sitting beside her at the table.

“Come on, out with it! What do you think you were doing?”

She looked around and they were all looking at her now, waiting for her to say something. She could feel her face turning redder than the tomatoes on the plate in front of her and she wanted to sink through the floor. There was no way out.

“Come on Emily, you have got some explaining to do. What’s going on?”

Her father lent towards her and his voice sounded angry. Why did they have to bring this up now in front of cousin Cecilia Coth and her daughter? It was as if they wanted her to feel more ashamed than what she already did. No, she was not going to say anything, she couldn’t. She knew she would be grounded now and not be able to go out with her friends on the weekend and she knew they would keep a watchful eye on her. She felt boxed in and put on a leash.

Grounded, grounded, grounded…...

It all started a few days earlier at school when the teacher told her off from talking in class during the Math lesson. She did not think she was particularly loud but the teacher picked up on the conversation and yelled at her to quiet down. The class laughed, everyone seemed to enjoy the “bring down.” It was enough for her to pick up her bag during recess and leave. Emily walked to the shopping mall and entered one of the stores where you could hide, undiscovered for the rest of the day. Then she would go home and pretend as if nothing had happened. It probably would have worked out well except the teacher might report her missing to her parents and she would have to explain it. She could always say she left because of a stomach ache. It was true. She often had stomach aches these days, especially in the mornings before going to school. Emily did not like school at all and the students in her class did not treat her with much respect. “Odd ball Emily,” as one of them called her.

So, here she was in the store somewhere between a new collection of summer dresses, handbags, and a row of chocolates. Her stomach ached and she did not feel good. Before she knew it, one of those big chocolate bars ended up in her hand. She just grabbed it, not thinking at all as she looked around her to see if anyone was watching before she stuck it in her school bag. Nobody was around, her heart beat faster as the adrenaline moved through her body. She did not feel good but she did not feel bad either, a sense of excitement even. What she did not count on was the change rooms just behind her where her cousin Cecilia was trying on a summer dress.

“Emily! What are you doing here?”

Emily turned around and her face went as pale as chalk as Cecilia came towards her with a bright dress in her hand.

“Why are you not at school? Is your mum here?”

It was too much, not only did she feel guilty but she also felt sick to her stomach. Why was it so hard to find some space for yourself?

“I’m not well,” she stuttered.

“I am sorry to hear that. What is wrong with you? Are you okey?

Emily felt the tears welling up in her eyes and she swallowed hard to keep them away. She was embarrassed to be caught out like this in front of one of her mother’s best friends.

“I was on my way home.”

“Well, I think you should go home and eat something healthy for a change and if you are not well you should not be running around in the shops. I am going your way so do you want a lift?

Emily started to say something but the words didn’t quite come out as she followed behind Cecilia to the cash register where she paid for the dress.

“Oh, so sorry, I almost forgot,” she murmured.

Cecilia smiled at the girl at the cash register and stretched out towards Emilys back pack. She pulled out the chocolate bar and put it on the counter.

“We are paying for this as well.”

Emily started crying. She had never taken anything from anywhere and the reality was that now she really felt like a thief. How could she be so stupid.

“It’s all right, lets just keep it between us this time, okey?”

“Consider this a favor to your mum.”

Cecilia sounded tired, not angry, just weary as they walked through the shopping mall and the drive home seemed to go on forever. Not a word was said as the car pulled into the driveway.

“Here, take it. It’s yours!”

Cecilia handed Emily the chocolate and looked her in the eyes.

“We will talk later.”

The car door slammed and she drove off down the lane.

Well, perhaps it wasn’t that bad after all.

Her mother would not be home until later and her father was working overtime. She walked slowly down towards the park feeling restless, fed up, annoyed at herself and everything.

Then a car pulled over and a familiar voice called out.

“Emily, hello! You look really freaked out.”

Oh no, it was Evan Crosby. Please, not now.

“Jump in, I will take you for a spin.”

She stared at him, 17 and full of himself.

“Come on jump in” he said again.

“I won’t hurt you.”

Well, things could not get much worse, she thought as she opened the car door and sat down in the passenger seat.

“I did not know you had a car.”

“I don’t, I just found it! Let’s see how she rides!’

And that is how it started. It was too late to get out of the car now. Evan stepped on the accelerator heading for the hills taking the curbs in full speed. The breaks were screaming, the car now roaring into life and Emily hanging on to her seatbelt with her eyes closed as she felt her heart beating faster and faster. And then, the police siren and her blood froze.

Mum was there, waiting by the door as she stepped out of the police car outside her house. The officer walked with her up the driveway.

After explaining the situation, he gave Emilys mother a knowing look and walked off.

The rest was a blur, Emily blocked her ears and did not want to hear anything more. Her mother said nothing and her father would look at her later with disappointment in his eyes.

“Joy riding in a stolen car?”

That was all he said.

So, the dinner a couple of days later with Cecilia and her daughter was painful to say the least. She had embarrassed her parents and herself and she had made everything so much worse for everybody. She would never ever take anything from anyone again. It did not help that Clara, Cecilias daughter, was sitting right opposite her at the table, starring at her with her “do good eyes.” Clara, the perfect daughter. Oh well, perhaps next year would be different.

Emily remembered that day for the rest of her life and while she was moving through time the inner and outer realities took on a deeper meaning. Growing up is part of leaving those things behind and moving towards a new kind of freedom where space, time and consciousness becomes a new reality.

Clara, the “almost perfect” daughter of Cecilia, phoned her some months later when she was in hospital where she was being treated for concussion after crashing her shooter into a tree while being drunk.

“Everybody makes mistakes,” she laughed.

“And we sure have made some bad ones.”

Emily leaned over to Clara and stroked her chin. It looked like they now had something in common. This moment was bringing them closer together and they were becoming good friends. There was affection in Claras eyes as she spoke.

“You know, I always looked up to you.”

 “Perhaps it is part of growing up and part of the life skills we need to navigate through even if it seems a bit dramatic at the sometimes.”

Years later Emily watched her daughters face turning red while she tried to pull her hair down to cover the love bite on her neck. The arrogant know it all look she was so familiar with was all over her face and her breath smelled of alcohol.

“Speak now, come on tell me where have you been?”

“Okey, it is after midnight, so what? We just drove down the beach and walked for a while, okey?’

Mothers need to be needed and letting go was all a part of growing up, Emily thought as she looked into her daughter’s eyes.

“Weren’t you ever young?”

“Yes” Emily answered. “Not so long ago.”