The Celebration

“Here, let me get that.”

           Jacob reached for the door handle as the striking young woman closed her umbrella before entering the building.

           “Thank you, sir. Not a nice day, is it?”

           “I guess not, but I suppose you could say it fits the mood of the event. Funerals aren’t generally that bright and cheerful.”

           “True. But to be clear, this is a ‘celebration of life’ we’re going to, right?”

           “Right. A celebration. Kind of a euphemism, but yes. By the way, I’m Jacob.” He reached out his hand to shake hers. It felt

           “Lisa. I’m Lisa. I’m happy to meet you. Let me put my umbrella over here. I think the ceremony is taking place in that room.”

           “Yes, that looks like it. ‘Melissa Stevenson.’ That’s the one.”

           He hung his jacket and hers on the unremovable coat hangers provided on the metal rack and walked over to the chapel.

“You didn’t know her, did you?” She asked him hesitantly, trying to discern his reason for attending the service in honor of Melissa.

           “No. I’m afraid I didn’t. I mean, not in person. We corresponded often via email for work over the past few years. Sometimes we had some nice conversations back and forth. She was one of my favorite clients. I often thought she and I would hit it off if we ever met, but that was obviously not meant to be. Were you friends with her?”

           She looked down for a moment, then back at Jacob. “It is extremely complicated, Jacob. I feel like I knew her better than anyone else could, but sometimes she did things I just couldn’t understand. You know?”

           Jacob didn’t but said he did.

           As he held the chapel door for her, she stopped. “Um, I’m going to duck into this crying room here so I can watch the service in privacy.”

           “Really? Well, sure. You go ahead.” He looked into the chapel before shutting the door. “It looks like they’re about to begin.”

           “Jacob?”

           “Yes?”

           “I have a big favor to ask of you. Will you sit in here with me?”

           Jacob did not relish being in a room full of strangers at the moment, so it seemed like an invitation he’d gladly accept.

           “Sure. I would be happy to.”

           They sat on what was, in essence, a somewhat institutional looking couch, like one you’d expect to see in a hospital waiting room. She parted the curtains so they could see through the window. There were forty or fifty people there, each finding a seat. A man who said he was a pastor, but who wore civilian clothes, stepped behind the lectern and said a prayer for Melissa. At the end some of the people said “Amen.”

           Lisa reflexively reached out to hold Jacob’s hand. He was fine with that. The next speaker – maybe a sister – began her tribute.

           “Melissa was a fine, young woman. She touched all of our lives in different ways. Growing up with her was challenging because she set the bar so high for me and our brother. She was always willing to help and even now, she will always be my hero.”

           Lisa put her index finger up to her face and wiped a tear from her cheek. Jacob noticed how green her eyes were, but looked away, not wanting to stare. Several speakers followed, each sharing personal memories of Melissa, and each wondering why she would be taken from them so soon.

           Lisa stood. “Jacob, I want to leave. Will you come with me?”

           “Okay… sure.”

           They stepped out into the lobby. Jacob grabbed their jackets and her umbrella from the metal stand, causing a clanging of the empty hangers. This time she opened the door for him, and they stepped out into a foggy haze with the sun breaking through. The rain was gone.

           “Would you take me to Denny’s?”

           “Uh, sure. If you would like to go to Denny’s, we’ll go there.”

           He led her to his car which was parked a half block away. As the sun penetrated the fog, vapors rose from the pavement. The grass looked incredibly green.

           They got in and put seatbelts on. She turned to look at him and took his hands in hers. “Thank you, Jacob.”

           They rode in silence. The Denny’s was a few miles away. The tires splashed through residual puddles from the earlier rain. Lisa looked out her window as if she were someplace else in her mind.

           A few minutes later, sitting in a booth where they had both just ordered “Grand Slam” breakfasts, Lisa reached her hands out onto the table and asked Jacob to hold them, which he did.

           “Jacob, I really like you.”

           “You hardly know me.”

           “That’s partly true.” She paused and looked at the table before looking back at Jacob. “You see, Lisa was my childhood name because when I was little, I couldn’t pronounce ‘Melissa.’”

           Jacob’s face was overtaken with a quizzical look.

           “You see, Jacob, that person you got to know through emails at work, and that woman those people were saying such nice things about at the funeral home… that was me.”

           “…was you?”

           “Was me. I just attended my own funeral.”

           “Okay, I’m sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why you would fake your death and stage a funeral.”

           “Well, maybe not perfectly reasonable. Perfection is a great concept, but nothing is perfect. But there is a reason. I’ll tell you what: I’ll give you three possible reasons, and you can pick the reason that you think is correct. First one: I am going to testify against my mob boyfriend and then go into the witness protection program, leaving my current life and all my friends and family behind. Now number two: The CIA is paying me a million dollars, which will go to my family, to assassinate the president of a Middle Eastern country by using poison lipstick, after which I will likely be killed. And, number three, I have an inoperable tumor, and I will die soon, and I wanted to see the people who know me celebrate my life before I pass away.”

           “Um… oh geez…”

           She rolled her eyes in impatience. “It’s number three, Jacob. The worst one.”

           “Oh my God! I am so, so sorry!”

           “Me too. And scared. But do you know what? Having known you only by email for two years, I was so surprised, and I thought it was so cool that you came to my celebration of life. You opened the door for me, you hung up my jacket and then you sat with me when I needed some comfort. Now you’re having eggs and bacon with me.”

           “So…”

           “I think you were sent to me to be my guardian. My companion. My life-mate – for however long that life may be. Is that crazy?”

           “Maybe a little.”

           Lisa put down her fork and smiled. “You know, Jacob, there is a clinic in Mexico that has had very good luck curing people with my kind of cancer. I am going to go there. I already rented a bungalow near the ocean. I was going to go by myself. After today, I feel such a connection to you and so full of love for you that I would like you to come with me.”

           “Well, I have a dentist appointment next Wednesday…”

           She interrupted him and touched his arm. “Jacob. Do you have a girlfriend?”

           “No, I don’t.”

           “Well, now you do! That is, if you would like me to be. Would you like that? Will you make me joyously happy and come to Mexico with me to see the sunset over the Pacific from our balcony?”

           “You aren’t like the other girls, are you?”

           “No. I am not. Say yes, Jacob. Please. I need a friend and a lover to help me through this.”

           “When do we leave?”