Let it Snow!

I was never much of a skier, in fact, I had only been once in my life.  I did, however, fall in love with being in the mountains during winter.  The crisp air, the pristine snow, and the warmth of a fire after a cold trek in nature.  

I arrived at the small mountain chalet B&B just as the sun was going down behind the mountain peaks.  As the driver unloaded my bags, I breathed in the fresh mountain air, grateful to have arrived safely and just in time to see the first sunset of my stay. 

As I entered the chalet I was greeted by the owner, Grace.  A gray-haired woman, short and plump, with rosy cheeks and the warmest smile.  She showed me around the common areas of the B&B and then to my room.  As she handed me the key, she let me know that the evening meal would be served at 6:00 p.m. daily and then breakfast at 9:00 a.m.  

The chalet was small, with only 5 guest rooms, each with their own bathroom and descent sized living space.  Often fully booked, I felt fortunate to have scooped up a last-minute reservation at this beautiful place.  My room was exactly as I had envisioned.  Comfortable and luxurious.  Rustic yet modern.  The bed was big and comfortable and there was no shortage of fluffy pillows and a private bathroom equipped with a walk-in shower, a soaking tub and heated everything.  

The next morning, after breakfast, I headed out for a snowy hike.  It was a crisp 19 degrees; the air was clean, and the skies were so blue that you wouldn't guess a storm was on the horizon.  As I tromped through the snowy terrain, I thought about all that had happened over the past couple of years.   I had survived a pandemic; the cruelest reminder of how fragile we really are.  I survived but didn’t come out unscathed.  My marriage fell apart and I lost friends and family.  It woke us up and shook us all to our core, reminding us that life is so very short.

When I arrived back at the chalet, I found the other guests lugging their bags to their vehicles, making the choice to leave ahead of the storm.  As I made my way to my room, Grace let me know that she would be back later in the afternoon with supplies.  I quickly changed into my warmest leggings, oversized sherpa hoodie and fuzzy socks and headed to the common area.

I poured myself a glass of wine and plopped down on the oversized chair facing the window.  Grateful for the serenity of those moments.  The snow fell like snowballs from the sky, quickly blanketing the pine trees along the hillside.

Soon, I heard a car pull up to the back door of the Chalet and quickly got up to help Grace haul in whatever supplies she had brought.  As I flung open the door, there stood a familiar face.   Not Grace.  

"Samantha?"  I uttered

“Ali?!" dropping her bags right where she stood.

Both of us stood there looking at each other in disbelief.

With a confused smile "What are you doing here?"

"My mom owns this place… " she said confusedly 

I grabbed her arm "Get in here silly, it's cold out there."  Hugging her and then grabbing her bags off the stoop.

"Oh my gosh, thank you, I'm sorry…"  Sam said

“Pinch me… this can’t be real?”  I stood in awe asking, “Is Grace here?"

"OH, no, no. Mom’s not here.  I didn't want her on the mountain in this weather.  It can get kind of crazy and a little too much for her.  So, here I am." she said smiling "I should finish unpacking"

"Let me help you" slipping on my shoes

"No!  You're a guest"

Rolling my eyes "Please!  I'm helping you!"

We quickly unpacked the car and then put away the supplies.

"Do you want a glass of wine?"  I asked

"Yes, please!  This is surreal.  I mean… what are the chances that it's you up here?"

"I know!  It's been how many years?"

"It feels like a lifetime ago." Sam said as she headed into the kitchen

Sam and I had a long and complicated history.  From the moment we met, we clicked.  We went from acquaintances to close friends seemingly overnight.  It had been 17 years since our last face to face visit.  We stayed in touch for many years but eventually our long and meaningful talks became 'Hey, how's it going’ text messages or social media likes.

I stepped into the kitchen area “Sam?”

She turned toward me with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Hey, are you ok?” touching her hand

“I’m just a little caught off guard… “

“Do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?”

“No, I’m Ok… just surprised.”

“Good surprised or bad surprised?”

Smiling she said, “it’s good…so gosh, it’s been a while.  How are you?”

 Over dinner we caught up on the happenings of the last few years of work and family.

"Why are you here alone?" Sam asked, “Where's Cait?"

"Cait who?" smiling

"The last 17 years Cait, that's who!" widening her eyes with a smirk.

“17 years Cait? … We broke up last year.”

"What?  You broke up?" 

"Yeah, we’re on good terms though…”

Sam giving me a puzzled look

“It was amicable… we realized that our paths were no longer aligned and we wanted different things.”

"So… it's been a year?"

"A little over"

"What about you… seeing anyone?"

"No... Not for a long time."

Sam's phone rang, her mom on the other end.  "Oh geez, I forgot to call her when I got here… I'll be right back."

I tossed another log on the fire and refilled our wine glasses.  I pushed the balcony door open and swept the snow off.  Daylight was quickly being swallowed by the darkness.  Thank you, God, for this day and for bringing Samantha to me … 17 years Cait?” 

Inside Sam finished talking with her mom and then her son. She washed her face, styled her hair with her fingers, pinched her cheeks and flashed a quick smile to the mirror as she walked back into the common area.

"SOOO… tell me a story!"  I said smiling.

"You and your stories"

"Hey look… I'm sorry about how difficult I've been for the last few years."

"Don't…"

"No, I need to apologize, Sam… "

"I'm sorry too…for disappearing”

"I wish we could've talked through it.  You know..." I said as I poked the fire

"Ali, do you remember when you said to me Can we be real friends, the kind that visit each other and take trips together?"

"Yes… and the last words I heard from you were We are real friends! and not a single word since...it’s been 5 long years" tears welling up in my eyes

"Ali... I wanted to see you and hang out with you.  I really did.  But I also knew that it would end up messy for both of us and I just couldn’t put either of us through that."

"I wish you could've told me that."

"Why? "

"So, that I would’ve understood.  I mean, for 5 years I’ve tried to figure out how I offended you.  How I hurt you.”

"I’m sorry.  At the time, I didn’t know how to say it or how you would respond to it.  My intent wasn’t to hurt you.  I promise you that.”

“So, you were bothered by me and “17 years Cait”?”

“I was in love with you, so yeah, it stung a little, but I understood it and was happy for you.”

"I know that sting… Do you remember that night, though?"  tearfully smiling

"It's all I remember.  And you saying Jesus, I did not see this coming…I need a cigarette!  And neither of us smoked” Sam said giggling.

"We're Ok, right?"

"Yes!"  Sam said hugging me "Now, I need some fresh air."  wrapping herself in a blanket and heading to the balcony.

I headed to my room for a quick moment to freshen up.  I was glad that we had aired that situation.  For years, our relationship went from friendship to something undefinable and we found ourselves in a push and pull dynamic that really had become tumultuous and hard to manage. 

"Is the snow clearing?" I asked as I stepped out onto the balcony

"Look at that moon… in the middle of this huge snowstorm."

"Beautiful… but brr "

"Come here" wrapping her blanket around my shoulders 

Turning to face her "Sam… "

"Yes” Sam's eyes sparkling in the moonlight

"Do you believe in divine intervention?"

"I do now!"  reaching up and softly kissing my lips

A happy smile came across my face as I pulled her back into the house.   “Let it snow…and snow… and snow!”