To Be Forgotten

How many years has it been? So much and so little has changed since the last time he had seen these people. That was 20 years ago. That was their highschool graduation, where they stood on top of that stage as their names were announced to receive their diploma. That was the last time he had seen any of them. 

Now so many of them had changed, it seemed that he hadn’t changed a bit. His slacks hugged his waist and his dress shoes still held a shine to them. His dress shirt was unbuttoned from the first two buttons, still it felt like something was lodged in his throat causing him to clear his throat every now and again. 

Yet even the sounds of his cough or discomfort didn’t make a single one of his old classmates turn to him. 

“Hey, did you hear about Rebekkah?” A voice said from behind him. 

He held a red cup in his hand, the contents of his mixed beverage hadn’t even begun to give him a buzz. “Yeah, I heard she’s homeless.” 

The woman sucked in her teeth, “that’s what she gets for hanging out with those drug addicts. Do you remember them? They would run around the lunchroom like reta-” 

The friend gasped out, hitting her friend to cut her off, even Luke had to turn away and pretend he hadn’t been eavesdropping. “Don’t say shit like that. You know how sensitive people are nowadays?” 

They moved away, leaving Luke to stand alone by the bar. 

This year’s reunion had been held at a bar and grill named Stanley’s Lounge. They had rented the place out for the occasion yet, it seemed that there were less people this year than the previous reunion. “Hey!” A voice boomed. 

The loud voice almost made Luke have a heart attack as he clenched onto his cup. His eyes fell onto a familiar face. “Oh hey… Wyatt.” Luke muttered. 

Wyatt had been their star quarterback in high school, still repping the old jersey that's too small on him now. The years had not been kind to him, the crows feet around his eyes seemed more prominent when he smiled, his rosy cheeks already signifying that he was in fact already drunk off his ass, his skin sagged around his face and neck and his big meaty hands clasped him onto his shoulder. 

Luke expected the impact, expected the familiar shake of Wyatt practically tossing him around like a ragged doll. But it never came. That emptiness weighed heavy in his heart. The more he looked around Stanley’s, seeing old friend groups gathering around to talk about the good old times, yet there he stood alone and forgotten. 

Not even his old friends acknowledged him. 

Soon he found himself being surrounded, sitting at a table with the old football team, or what was left of it anyway. Every time he tried to speak up, another voice would drown him out with their loud voice and laughter. “Remember that kid, what was his name? The one from the talent show!” 

Luke felt his heart begin to race. It had been a story that had gone around the whole school for weeks after the talent show. It hadn’t been what he wanted to be remembered by at all, “Luke the Puke!” Another player from the football team who went pro. 

“Hey, hey now, you know how I feel about talking bad about people who are… you know.” Wyatt said. 

“Sure, sure man. But you gotta give it to him, man held it in him! But the jitters got to him!” 

All their eyes fell onto him and all he wanted was to be swallowed up by his red cup, never to be seen again. “I should go.” He muttered, pushing his chair back to get up. 

Not a single one of them seemed to notice him slip away. 

“Luke!” Another familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts that seemed to plummet further down that abyss. 

Luke turned towards the familiar voice, a faint smile on his lips, “Jenny!” 

Jenny had been the only friend he had stayed in contact with after high school. Yet he couldn’t remember her telling him that she was going to the reunion this year. His eyes fell onto her round pregnant belly. When was the last time he’d seen her? “You look good!” She said, pulling him away from the crowd. 

“You too, I uh- congrats on the baby.” Luke’s awkwardness had shown through and he couldn’t help but feel his face grow hot. 

Even Jenny’s smile didn’t stop the heat from rising from his cheeks to his neck. “Thank you, I’m surprised you showed up this year for this. I know how you don’t like big crowds.” 

At least someone remembered. 

Luke’s voice seemed to be lodged in his throat as he rubbed his neck, “Yeah… I think I should really get going. It’s not like anyone noticed that I was here anyway.” 

“No! You should stay! You have to stay for the send off.” 

The send off,  a tradition to celebrate those who had passed away. He couldn’t remember how many of their classmates had died. All from different causes. Drug abuse, alcohol poisoning, suicide, the list went on. Those 20 years they had lost more of their classmates out of the 12 hundred students that graduated that senior year. 

It was their way of honoring them, even after all of these years. Luke couldn’t help but feel like he wouldn’t be one of those people among those who have passed that would be remembered. 

“Come on, you have to pay your respects.” Jenny nudged his shoulder, before pulling him towards a table that wasn’t occupied. 

Jenny had always been respectful to the dead. Luke can remember the stupid things they used to do when they were in high school. Sneak off at night to go to the cemeteries to hunt for ghosts. They even tried to start their own youtube channel dedicated to catching ghosts on camera. 

Their adventures didn’t last long, even with their 108 subscribers who were waiting for their next shenanigans. “Remember that thing we promised when we were in senior year?” 

“Uh… there were a few things… which one?” Luke had abandoned the red cup on the table, he was in need of something stronger if he was going to be able to handle the rest of the night. 

“Well aside from keeping my secret about setting the girls’ bathroom on fire,” She snorted, “but that we would reach out to one another, even if it was once a week or once a month.” 

Luke frowned, he looked to their old classmates, many of them had begun to settle down as the minutes ticked by, a soft murmur going around. “I’m sorry I never reached out… I was in a bad place and-” He paused. 

“Hey… we all go through that. But we come back from it.” She waved a hand to a few old classmates who hadn’t touched a single drink, “Some recover,” Her hand drifted over to Wyatt’s table, “Some don’t. People struggle, we’re only human.” 

Luke’s fingers tapped against the table, “Can I tell you something? Promise you won’t freak out?” 

Jenny shot him a soft smile, he could see the tears glisten in her eyes but he pushed the question that brewed inside down. He had to get this off his chest, “I tried you know… I was working one day and so many people had these stories to tell about their high school days. It made me think.” 

“I hadn’t joined any clubs or sports. I was avoiding it all throughout high school because that wasn’t my thing. But now I’m starting to regret not putting myself out there. I just feel like I’m being forgotten.” He admitted. 

Jenny sighed softly, “Our memory isn’t forgotten, even if our senior class don’t remember you. There are a bunch of us that do.” 

“Sure. Mark and the others didn’t even notice me earlier.” Luke, frustrated, combed his fingers through his hair as he leaned back in the booth. 

“I’m sure they had their reasons, they probably didn’t recognize you.”

“I haven’t changed much, I still look the same as I did years ago.” He huffed. 

“It’s those Spanish genes in you, you don’t age.” She joked. 

Luke laughed, it had been the first time he laughed that entire night and it felt good. Even as the night rolled on, up until the send off, everyone crowded around a table; there were pictures of the people who had passed with flowers scattered around. 

A heavy silence fell over the crowd, even the lights in Stanley’s grew more dim, everyone held a cup in their hand. Wyatt stood in front to speak, “I want to thank everyone for being here, even those who couldn’t make it today. Now I want to take a moment of silence to honor those who have passed.” 

The room became stagnant, as if a silent prayer was being sent out to the heavens for those who have passed on to find peace in the afterlife. Luke could hear the faint sniffles as he glanced around to see people crying. His eyes fell onto Wyatt, “Now to the send off,” He raised his cup. 

“Ride on little buddy,” He poured his drink onto the floor. His eyes glistened with tears threatening to fall. Luke hadn’t noticed before the puffiness in his eyes or the redness of his nose. “He may be gone but he isn’t forgotten.” 

“To Luke Rodriguez.” Everyone around them murmured. 

Silence. 

Luke looked over to Jenny to see her in a tearful state. “What? I’m not dead.” Luke laughed nervously. “I’m right here!” 

On and on, they named each and every person that passed. Luke continued to yell and shout into people’s faces, telling them all that he wasn’t dead. Were they trying to pull some prank on him? Was he going insane? “I’m not dead!” His voice was hoarse. 

Luke’s eyes fell onto the table, until he saw his own picture. “This has to be some fucking prank, ha ha! This is so not funny guys!” 

Anger fueled him as he searched the crowd of familiar faces until his eyes fell on Wyatt. It had to be his doing. He stomped towards him. “Wyatt!” 

“They found you.” Jenny’s voice drew him out of his rageful fit. 

His chest heaving as he looked over at her, panic and confusion filled his eyes. “What?” 

“It happened after the last reunion. Wyatt took it really hard.” Jenny’s voice was so soft that he had to step closer to hear over all the noise. 

“Jenny whatever the hell this is, that’s enough! I don’t like it!” He reached to grab her, to shake some sense into her. 

But his hand slipped right through her. He stared at his hand before looking around, he tried to grab the people around them, but it made no difference. “What the hell is going on?” 

“Luke… you died 10 years ago.” Jenny said. 

Luke shook his head, it couldn’t be true. He was right here, standing with them all. He even got dressed up in the same outfit he wore because he hadn’t changed. Panic began to rise in his chest, his hand shot to his neck feeling that tightness slowly build in his throat. “You hung yourself.” She whispered. 

Then he remembered. 

It was 10 years ago, it was their first high school reunion. There had been dozens of people who had claimed they had become successful and here Luke had been stuck in the same boring job his dad had helped him get. His slacks hugged his waist and his dress shirt was ironed out of any wrinkles. He straightened out his tie as he pushed his hair back away from his eyes. He thought he had overdid it with his outfit, but seeing how everyone else was dressed, he felt out of place. 

“Luke!” Wyatt’s voice boomed. 

Luke jumped, feeling Wyatt’s hand clasped down onto his shoulder as he shook him so hard that he stumbled over his own feet. Until his face came into contact with Wyatt's chest as he hugged him so tight. “You haven’t changed a bit!” 

Luke patted his back awkwardly, he had helped Wyatt with his assignments all throughout high school. It was a weird friendship he hadn’t expected to blossom the way it did. 

Wyatt with a healthy glow, the man looked as if he took fitness to a whole other level. He had gone off to become a personal trainer, to help others feel good about themselves. 

“You should train with me! I’ll get some meat on those bones!” Wyatt laughed, they had been drinking. 

Luke and alcohol didn’t mix, “Sure, so you can kill me on your leg days? No thank you.” He slurred. 

“Luke, when you gonna settle down? Get married, do something with your life?” Another player asked him. 

“I don’t have anyone.” 

“Don’t it get lonely?” 

Luke paused, cup midway to his lips as he shrugged his shoulders. “No.” 

He lied. 

There wasn’t anyone he wanted, at least not in that way. Luke had thought all of these years something must have been wrong with him. It wasn’t like he hadn’t dated girls before but those relationships never last very long. The longest relationship had resulted in him now having to pay child support for a kid he wasn’t entirely convinced was his. 

But he loved that kid as if it was his own. 

Still he found himself unable to deny that it wasn’t the loneliness that gnawed at him, it was the fear of being forgotten. What had he done to make a name for himself? There were many people who knew him, sure. But so many of their classmates stared at him as if he was in the wrong high school reunion. 

So what if they forget him? 

So what if he was alone? 

He did this to himself. If he had anyone to blame it was himself. 

Even as the necktie around his neck tightened, cutting off the air in his lungs. He would gag and gasp for air as his fingernails dug into his neck. 

There was no one else to blame but himself for this. 

Luke had been suffering from depression for 6 years. He stared at Jenny in disbelief. Wet streaks glided down his cheeks, “How can you see me?” 

Jenny smiled at him faintly, “It’s a blessing and a curse. Why did you think I wanted to hunt for ghosts?” 

Luke’s gaze fell onto the table with his photo, Wyatt’s cries seemed to grow louder as his old teammates tried to calm him down. Had Wyatt not been looking at him before? Had he been looking at the photograph that was sitting directly across from the table they were at? Luke sucked in a breath, “So I wasn’t forgotten?” 

Jenny laughed softly, “Of course not.” 

Luke felt the tears sting his eyes, he tried to blink them away, “How am I here?” 

“Your soul must have felt that there was something you had forgotten. So it sent it back here to Earth to finish what you started.” Jenny said as she gestured towards Wyatt. 

He could feel his throat tightening seeing a grown man crying over him. He couldn’t help but laugh through his tears, “Can you tell him something for me?” 

There had been something he had forgotten, even now as the memory of his death started to register into his mind. Wyatt’s cries had subsided as his old teammates went to grab more napkins from neighboring tables. “Hey Wyatt.” Jenny said softly, sitting across from him. 

“You’re Jenny Ochoa.” Wyatt wiped his snot with the sleeve of his blazer. “Luke’s friend.” 

Jenny smiled softly. “He wanted me to tell you something.” 

“Now isn’t the time, Ochoa.” he gruffed, “I just finished crying.” 

“I know, but he wanted me to tell you anyway. He says, thank you for remembering him and for trying to save his life.” 

Wyatt’s eyes met hers, searching. His eyebrows pinched together. “How did you-” 

“He told me.” 

Luke leaned over Jenny’s seat, “He tried to do CPR but he couldn’t get my heart to start again. He didn’t leave my side even as they took me in the ambulance, even when they declared me dead.” 

It was all coming back to him now, he felt his own breathing become shaky as those memories of that night filled his mind. Wyatt had been the one to remember him even after all of these years. Wyatt knew about his fear of being forgotten.

Not once Wyatt accused Jenny of being a fraud, never once had he cut her off as she explained in detail that very night to him. Jenny watched as Wyatt cried over his dead friend once more. Jenny wiped the stray tears away as she reached over and squeezed his hand gently. 

“He has to go, but these are his last words.” 

Luke smiled, “Remember me, so I’m not forgotten, Wyatt. But remember the good times, not just the sad times. But you need to live for yourself and not for the past. Life doesn’t end because I’m gone.” 

Luke watched his two closest friends cry over him, talking about the good old times of all the things they did with him when he was alive. His heart ached as he looked over at the exit as it called for him. Although he didn’t know what was on the other side, he didn’t fear it like he thought he would. Luke waved a final goodbye to Jenny before he stepped through the door. 

His words seemed to be heard by everyone, their murmurs quiet as they looked to the door as it swung open on its own as Luke left their high school reunion, for the last and final time. 

“Remember me!”