The Photo Album

    Ashley Thomas continued the long, slow process of clearing out the nooks and crannies of her condo. She had been living there for more than 20 years as her family grew and then disintegrated. The final divorce settlement was forcing the condo sale. Ashley sighed and took another box out of the closet. It contained about a dozen photo albums from happier times. Looking for any distraction, she carried the box to the living room and set it down on the coffee table.

      Settling on the couch, she pulled out one of the albums out of the box and leaned back while flipping through the pages. There were so many photos of she and Richard from their early years together. The smiles were genuine, not forced grimaces that showed in his countenance the last few years. They were a very handsome couple. One photo showed them at the beach. The date next to the photo put it shortly before they were married. Richard was so fit and muscular and Ashley noticed that she filled out her bikini very nicely. She wondered, What happened to that body of mine? She looked at the date again realizing she must have been in the early days of her first pregnancy. That thought doused her mood, so she put the album back in the box and went into the kitchen for a soda.

      Just then, Heather and her boyfriend, Jim, emerged from Heather’s room. At almost 17 years, Heather was in the prime of her emerging beauty. Heather was flushed and Jim had a self-satisfied smile as he hitched up his jeans. With one look Ashley could only imagine what was going on so quietly in that room. She flashed back to how she looked in that beach photo and marveled at how similar Heather and she looked even though there was no genetic connection between them.

      Jim waltzed into the kitchen, pulled open the refrigerator door and leaned his six foot frame right into it; his eyes casting about for a suitable beverage. After picking up a can of Pepsi, with one fluid motion the tab was popped and the can tilted against his lips. Only after a few gulps was the fridge door closed and a broad smile emerged as he faced the two women in his life outside his family. Jim and Heather had been dating for almost two years and he felt as comfortable in the Thomas house as his own. Ashley had no choice but to approve of this top student, basketball player who was obviously enamored with her daughter. There were more than a few strained conversations with Heather over the past few years with cautions about the consequences of her actions. The response had always been that Heather was careful, on the pill and Ashley should stay out of it.

      Once again, Ashley marveled at how much alike she and Heather looked even though Heather was adopted at birth almost17 years ago. With a shudder, Ashley once again questioned the wisdom of never telling Heather she was adopted. When Heather was a baby, there was no need as she wouldn’t understand. Then as she grew older, there was one excuse after another until now, the thought of actually revealing this essential truth scared the daylights out of Ashley. Who knew how she would react, I don’t even want to think about going there. There would be too many questions to answer. How could Ashley explain to Heather about that pre-marriage pregnancy had ended in a botched abortion leaving Ashley unable to get pregnant again? How could she tell Heather about how Richard had been so loving and supportive through those complications and that caring, wonderful man who wanted to be a father, but just not so soon after marriage? Ashley remembered Richard’s oft repeated words, “We can always have children, just not right now.” She reluctantly agreed to have the abortion and has regretted it ever since.

      Good to his word, after it became apparent that Ashley would never be able to have a child, Richard jumped whole heartedly into adoption. Surprisingly, within 18 months newborn Heather was welcomed into the Thomas home. Ashley remembered those early days, Heather looked just like me: same blue eyes, pale complexion and straight hair. It was so easy to pretend that she was her birth parent. Who would think otherwise?

      The years went by, the marriage to Richard soured; and now Ashley was alone with Heather, who looked more and more like Ashley each passing year, The opportunity to tell her about the adoption just never came up.

      During this reverie, Heather and Jim had wandered into the living room and spotted the photo albums. “What are these?” he asked settling into the same place Ashley sat earlier. He patted the cushion next to him for Heather to sit. Together, they started to leaf through the pages.

      Ashley started to gather them back into the box, taking the album from Jim. She instinctively wanted to shield the past from Heather, “These are just some old photo albums.” Adding to herself, Nothing to see here.

      Jim grabbed a different album out of the box and it fell open to photos of a Christmas tree with Richard, Ashley and Heather standing next to the tree in the very room they were seated in. Jim gushed, “Aww, Heather, you looked so cute here.” He looked at the date carefully written on the page, “You must have been 4 years old.”

      Ashley tried to grab that album as well but Jim kept leafing through it, “Heather, here you are at the beach when you were twelve. Not a bad shape for a twelve year old.”

      “Jim!” Heather protested, “Am I just some ‘shape’ to you?” She grabbed the album and handed it to her mom.

      But Jim was just getting started and grabbed one more out of the box. This album seemed to be of Ashley and Richard before Heather joined the family. He opened it to the beginning and saw photos of the two of them moving into the condo commenting, “A very handsome couple.” He flipped towards the end of the book and saw another beach photo of Ashley in her bikini laying on a beach blanket. The date next to the photo was almost seventeen years ago to the day. A puzzled look crossed his face and he raised his eyes to meet Ashley’s full on saying, “Why aren’t you pregnant in this photo?”

      The color drained out of Ashley’s face as she slowly collapsed into a chair.