Who Am I

I stand with my back straight, facing the never-ending ocean reflecting the bright setting sun. I close my eyes and listen to the waves and the birds looking for their partners to settle down for the night. My hand reaches out, grasping air. I open my eyes to see her, my only sister. She dances with the waves, smooth and elegant. I watch as she disappears beneath the water. I turn to go back home only to realize I am stranded on a small rock raised high above the clouds. “Come over here!”

The harsh voice cuts through the wind. I spin around again, looking for any signs of life. The ocean that met my hungry gaze is gone now, replaced by a sinking black hole. I close my eyes again and breathe in. As the breath leaves me, I jump.

I sit up quickly, trying to ignore the pounding headache lingering behind my eyes. I look around, confused. I am greeted with a glowing monitor on my right bedside. The fluorescent bulbs above are turned off, but long stretches of light are still shining through from the hallway. I look down at my lap. There is a needle sticking out of my left forearm and a tube that leads to a bag of saline on my left bedside. I realize I am in a hospital bed. I carefully lift the scratchy covers to see my entire left leg gone. My right leg is in a cast, propped up on a pillow. I try to move my toes, but it pains me to do so. I bite my tongue to hold back a scream swelling in my throat. I look over at the small end table beside the saline drip. There are wilting flowers with a few cards decorating the tabletop. I reach for the first one I can grab, a yellow Get Well Card. I open it and squint, trying to read the small writing in the dim light. The only words I can make out are ‘Henry and Louis.’

I set the card back on the table and lean back, suddenly exhausted. What happened? How did I get here? Where is everyone? I hear someone walk by and try to get their attention, but something hard and long is lodged in my throat. I lift my hand to my mouth and find a long tube leading to a ventilator. Tears spill over in fear. How long was I gone?

I remember watching movies about people who were in comas. Usually, when they wake up they take out their needles and ventilators, but I learned later that it can be dangerous to do so. I try to take a steadying breath to relax, but it gets caught in my throat. I look around for any kind of device to alert my nurse. I find a small remote and try to adjust my eyes to the dim light to read the buttons. This is the remote to my bed. I lift the back up to support myself and lean over to the bedside table to search the drawers. I find a bible, three pens, and another remote. I find the red emergency button quickly and push it.

I jump as a loud ringing comes from the device. Two minutes later five people in nurse and doctor’s uniforms come rushing into the room. I look at them wide-eyed until one person flips the lights on, momentarily blinding me. They all start talking to each other at once while checking the monitor beside me and checking my ventilator for damages. One man isn’t scrambling like the rest of them. He looks at me, takes my hand to get my attention, and speaks slowly.

“Hello, I am Doctor Mann. We need to check your vitals before we can take the tube out. Do you understand?” I nod. “How are we doing Nurse Ben?”

“She is doing fine. Her lungs sound strong and her vitals are perfect. We can begin extraction.”

Doctor Mann nods and looks at me again. “This is going to be very uncomfortable. Keep your mouth open for me and try not to vomit. It will be out in less than two seconds. Are you ready?”

I nod and close my eyes tight as he grabs the tube. A sudden feeling of loss is felt as they begin pulling. It feels as if they extracted everything within my body along with the tube. My stomach contracts in an effort to vomit, but I push it back. I open my eyes, breathing heavily. I notice teeth marks on Doctor Mann’s gloved hands. He is wincing but stops when he sees me looking at him.

“It’s no problem. Everyone has reflexes. I need to check your breathing,” he puts his stethoscope on my chest and tells me to breathe in deep. I cough the first time but regain my composure when the second deep breath is made. “One more time. Okay sounds good. How are you feeling?”

I open my mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a hoarse crack. He hands me a bottle of water. I finish the whole bottle before I can speak. “How?”

Doctor Mann looks at his nurses and nods at them. They leave after checking my vitals one last time. “What is the last thing you remember?”

“Nothing. Just a dream?”

His brown eyes keep a steady hold on me. “You were involved in a skydiving accident. Your parachute did not open in time, but your emergency chute did right as you hit the water. That is what saved your life. Unfortunately, you shattered your left leg so badly we had to amputate. Your right leg was able to be saved, but it is still broken. Your hips needed surgery. The shock waves from landing on your feet shot up to your hips and tore the muscle. The parachute came down around you when it hit the water, drowning you for six minutes before you entered your coma.”

He speaks slowly, making sure I understand each word. I sit stunned. I ask the question that has been on my mind since I woke up, “Who am I?”