The Sun Continues to Shine

This is a story about my father who has passed away years ago.

I remember when I heard you were gone. The leaves continued to rustle and the wind continued to blow, as if the world had not done a thing to save you.

Just like the poem you wrote, remember? The bird that you shot and regretted it, then the sun continued to shine?

I remember your smile and your eyes that sparkled like a seraphim and glowed like the everlasting moon.

I remember you telling me: Of course I won't leave. But when that epiphany came true, I was left with nothing but memories. You are gone, I tell myself. I cannot get you back.

Oh why oh why was it an accident? Could I have turned back time just to save you? Just call your name, and say everything is alright, and you'll get through this?

Were you thinking the same?

Then I was with you, and we were in that house, remember? And you said you are here, and don't worry? Well I woke up and you were gone.

But there will be another dream-a final dream, that I will be with you and you will be on that hill and singing. I know that will be one day and I don't have to keep missing you.

I remember when you saw me cry and you began to sob for me? Like my whole world was yours? When back then all you wanted me to be was happy. And then I feel the same for you. When you left, I wished your life was better. I wished you would not have your heart broken twice and you would not have sorrow. I wished you would have been happy for the rest of your life. But life is not perfect. There is not as much goodness in life that people would have wished.

When I was born, I was your perfection. I was everything to you. But lives change and change is the reason we are here. There will be our sorrows and there will be our pain. In your poems, they shone right through—I could feel the life in them.

For all in good time, the bad times will be gone at the end. Through my life, I have met many people. But lastly comes to you. You taught me so much. To cherish the moments we have until it is all we have left.

For the birds will sing in your heart and your heart will finally be free, and you won’t have to worry anymore—all your burdens will disappear and all you will have is love, love for everyone around you in the world where everything will be perfect.

But for now I must hold onto whatever I have left of me until I see you again. And be with you for real. Forever in my heart, and when I'm gone, the sun will shine and the breeze will touch everyone's hearts and they'll know: I'm not gone. I'm here. And I will be here until you meet me again.

“It’s you finally.”

“I have not seen you in awhile. I love you.”

“I love you too. I said that by your side when you left.”

“Let’s cherish the rest of our lives together. We have everlasting time.

Our world is now all we have dreamed of.”

And we see each land form as it is: The grass is perfectly green and the sun continues to shine and the beaches glisten with sparkling waters, and we sit and talk about everything we ever talked about before. And here we meet more people with no flaws—they are happy. For this world we are never sad. The only sadness we have is to miss the people we have not seen in awhile. There are no days or weeks or months or years in this world. There are no hours or minutes. There are no people who can hurt us. Our hearts are now filled with love. Love for each and everyone around us no matter who we are. No matter our past or our future.

I must wait for that world, I used to think. I used to hope and wish and wait as my life remained upside down and all I had was sorrow and regret.

Why do people hurt us? Why is everyone not the same as everyone else? Why do people have to pretend that everything is fine when it’s not? Why do people leave us in this world? I think to myself as I cry my eyes out. And I wait as the world still spins around as if nothing had happened.

But now that is gone and I have time with you. And all those feelings pass away like water off a duck’s back—like you said one day.

All the bad things will be gone. Everything that you ever dreamed will be with you. So you say goodbye to the life you had before.

Now the feelings have had passed, and I forget everything that hurt me before, I can see what the world shows me as I (wait to) see you again. Whether it be days or years, I will never forget your smile.

I wish you were here, I think to myself, knowing you will never be in this world. I will have to wait for the next world. I have to keep going on. To share what I have with others. To believe that everything will be alright in the end. Though I only have dreams, I know they are waiting for me.

In the past, in my dreams is how I saw you. And it ends when I wake up. And you tell me that I am with you, but I am not. But why do you say this? Why do I keep having to think you are here with me?

Because you are. And you always will be.

Have we met before? I ask as I wake up.