Shattered Music

Things used to be so perfect. We were together all the time, inseparable. We were going to conquer the world together, one note, one lyric, one song at a time.

I Wanna Know what happened. I thought I was Everything You Wanted. I sang to you, You Sang to Me, we sang beautiful Music together. In synch. In style. I was always Amazed at how perfect we were together. The harmonies we shared. So many different songs in so many different styles, but all so special to you – to us.

           But No More. Now I sit in the darkness. In a box. In your closet. Do you know I’m here? Do ever think about me? Is there even one small memory you have of me that pops up in your mind sometimes and makes you smile?

           I think about you often, and All the Small Things you did to show The Way You Love Me. Like when I was buried under dirty laundry for two days, then I heard you scream, “Thank God I Found You!” The way you rejoiced and held me, like all the world would see and rejoice with you.

           Or how we would Party it Up (Up in Here). I supplied the music, you supplied the dancing. 24/7 we’d go. You’d be Jumpin’, Jumpin’, the life of the party. I knew What a Girl Wants. The fun, the freedom. We’d make music better than Broadway. I Hope You Dance, still, but I wish you would Dance with Me. I wish you would Say My Name again. With you is Where I Wanna Be. The two of us, moving together. I don’t want this for old time’s sake, but for now. For forever.

           I Need to Know – was it me? Could my volume not go Higher? Did my music get old? I tried. Still, I Try. I’ve always done my best for you. I will always give you my best.

           I used to be so Smooth, but now I’m chipped and old. Am I too ugly for you? Too used? I promise I’m still the same, despite my nicks and dings. A broken crayon still colors, and I’m still in one piece. Still me.

           I’m Incomplete. There is no one to watch me Crash and Burn, or to lift me up when I fall. No one to celebrate with me when a new greatest hit is played. You were My Best Friend but How Do You Like Me Now?! Do you even remember me? That’s the Way it Is, I guess. You Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. I assure you, I am not Better Off Alone.

           I’d say It Feels so Good to rest, but that would be a lie. I helped you Breathe on the worst day, and dance on The Best Day. That’s the Way it worked. Who helps you through the emotions now? Do they do a better job than I did? Or was I a teacher, and you have learned to manage on your own? That would be a dim light in this pitch black, to think about helping you build a strong foundation for your life. I wish I knew for sure.

           What About Now? What’chu Like now? Have your music tastes changed? Don’t Think I’m Not sitting Back Here in this dark box, wondering. This coffin that I’m in is suffocating. I Gotta Tell You, I Don’t Wanna picture you listening to music anymore. But because I love you, I hope you do. Because music is such a part of you. Most Girls love music, but it went deeper with you. Music was your life.

           I Knew I Loved You even back then. I thought you loved me, too. You were my Kryptonite. I cannot function with you. I am nothing without you. But I guess it Doesn’t Really Matter. I Need You to press play one more time, but it will never happen. I know this, but Only God Knows Why you won’t. We Faded apart, but it wasn’t my choice. It is the Purest of Pain (A Puro Dolor).

           Can we Try Again?

           I keep telling myself to end this letter. I’m trying. You’ll never read it anyway. You wouldn’t care how I feel even if you did. I Know What’s Up. To most people, I am just an object, an it. You knew better. Knew, past tense. Now we have grown so far apart. I have no idea how you wear your hair these days. I don’t know what clothes you wear or who your best friends are. But I will always remember your eyes. Your voice. The feel of your hand holding me.

           I Wish we had never Separated. I Wanna Love You Forever. You are so Wonderful, a true Desert Rose. You are more real than The Real Slim Shady. But now someone else gets to play your playlist. Someone else gets to feel your emotion through song. Someone else gets to lift you up on your bad days and dance with you on your good days.

           Those were my jobs. It was my honor, my joy.

           Sometimes I dream that I get to Be With You again, with all your favorite songs. But Then the Morning Comes. Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche) to play your songs again.

           It will never happen. I know this. But still I hope.

           What is the purpose of hope if I know it will never happen? Can I be delusional? Or am I clinging to hope so I don’t fade into obscurity forever. Hope seems to be all I have keeping me alive. I breathe hope the same as you breathe air. My hope is to play for you again.

           Oops!... I Did it Again. I started pouring my bleeding heart on the page. Reminiscing. Begging. Hoping. Instead of ending this miserable letter. Tears stain this paper.

           I Swear it Again, you will always be in my memories. I will Never Let You Go. But There You Go, ignoring me. Forgetting me. Yes! I know how it goes. As I sit on this shelf, in a box with other random equipment. And maybe a stuffed rabbit. A full box, yet still I am alone. Left to my thoughts and sadness.  

I guess this is good-bye. Forever. Forever from your thoughts, but you’re never out of mine.

           Bye, Bye, Bye,

                      From the Bottom of my Broken Heart,

                                  Your old MP3 Player