Lunar Antics

Silas bounced across the dusty gray soil, felt his heart jolt when he spotted the golf ball. Finally! It’s what he’d been searching for for almost three days. Three days on the moon to be precise. One moon day equals twenty-seven point thirty-two days on earth, and it had taken him over sixty-eight earth days to find the damn thing!

Grinning, Silas carefully bent down and picked up the old golf ball with his pressurized glove. Fifty-eight years old, to be exact. It was one of the two golf balls astronaut Alan Shepard surprised the world with back in 1971. Silas wasn’t born when it happened, but he’d seen the blurry footage numerous times. Shepard, an astronaut on the Apollo 14, had attempted several one-handed swings with a golf club he’d also smuggled on board. He’d sent the balls soaring about 200 yards through the lunar highlands!

Silas was just about to press the communication button on his left forearm to let Maddox know that he’d discovered the second ball but stopped himself. Maddox, a fellow astronaut, had already found the other golf ball about an earth week ago. Before that, he’d also found the battery-powered lunar rover from the Apollo 15 mission. Although severe temperatures and harsh sunlight had damaged the battery, Maddox was able to repair it in a few hours. Afterward, he’d set up a camera and took a video of himself driving it over the bumpy surface of the moon, waving a flag with a message to his girlfriend that said: “Will you marry me, Jada?”

That video, which was live-streamed to earth, was already the most popular video ever watched in history!

Silas rolled his eyes, thinking about it. Even during their extensive training, Maddox was a show-off. Maddox proved to be faster, stronger, and smarter than any of the other astronauts on their team. It was undeniable. Maddox had a natural talent for knowing how to do just about anything, and if he didn’t, he was a fast learner. Silas should have known Maddox had mastered the art of becoming famous.

Silas stared at the golf ball in his grip. No. No sense in revealing that he found it now. Not yet, anyway. Better to allow Maddox to believe it’s still out there—go chase after a stupid ball! Silas vowed to concentrate on finding the things that mattered. 

Still, Silas grabbed the camera from his backpack and took several photos of himself holding the ball as proof. He’d even buried the ball back down on the soil where he’d discovered it, took several more pictures of himself pointing at it.

“Hey!” Maddox’s voice rang through the headset inside of Silas’s helmet.

Silas opened his channel. “Hello?” he said.

“Right behind you. Check this out!” 

Silas turned and watched Maddox bounce towards him with something clutched in his gloves. 

“Is that—?”

“Yes, it is!” Maddox interjected. “Charles Duke’s family photo!” He grinned wide, teeth gleaming through the visor of his helmet. “Looks like you found something too!”

Silas felt his shoulders slump underneath the weight of his spacesuit. “Yeah. Found the other golf ball.”

“Finally!” Maddox said. “I was beginning to think I’d be the only one un-mooning stuff in this mission!” He laughed.

Silas glared at him, but Maddox had already turned around, bounding in another direction.

Un-mooning stuff. Good one. Silas wished he could moon Maddox right now. Bend over and bare his lily-white buttocks at Maddox as silly teens do. He chuckled at the thought.

Silas knew he had to get his head together. They were supposed to be collecting samples anyway, not retrieving antiques left behind by previous astronauts.

He grabbed the golf ball and zipped it inside his backpack — time to take the mission seriously. 

***

Seventy-two earth days later, Maddox bounced towards Silas as he was busily collecting soil samples.

“Look! I found the falcon feather that Dave Scott dropped in 1971!” Maddox held up the feather for Silas to see.

Silas shook his head. “Seriously, you expect me to believe that? It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. You must’ve brought it with you.”

Maddox frowned. “No, I didn’t.”

Silas smirked. “I bet you did.”

Maddox said: “You’re just envious ‘cause you haven’t found shit, save for the 2nd golf ball. Just remember, the whole world watched me find the first ball first!” He turned around and bounced away.

Silas felt his blood rise. Maddox really knew how to get under his skin. But Maddox was right—Silas was envious. Silas was an astronaut too, yet here he was on the moon and forgotten. Maddox has gotten all of the attention since day one. 

Silas decided right then he had to find something. Something unexpected. Something he could film for the world to see in real-time.

Silas was so excited by his resolve that he stumbled over a boulder he hadn’t noticed before. Luckily he remembered his training, extended both hands to break the fall, only his hands landed on something soft, so the helmet broke his fall instead with a full-on face plant.

Silas heard Maddox burst into laughter. “Yo, Silas! You just discovered the ancient shit bags, and I’m live-streaming it right now!”