Pinks And Greens

I used to imagine sitting in a field of pinks and greens. The tops of the flowers cascading down into a valley of nothingness, whilst their stems twirled lightly around in the wind. Bushes would lay further ahead, merging in with the trees beside them. Angel shaped clouds were illuminated by a pastel pink glow of the sun setting in the sky.

A field for hopes and dreams forever more.

I sit in a classroom full of people I refuse to see. So much noise, yet no sound comes out of their mouths. Only a mute silence.

A group of girls to the side of me, apply more makeup than necessary whilst giggling at something that probably isn't funny. The boys at the back act like zoo animals let loose, and the one couple in front never fails to make me jealous.

On days like these, it's never good.

My teacher says there's a new student today. She made him sit next to me. He's pale and has deep-set brown eyes that compliment his looks entirely. Quite tall and slim. He looks perfect.

“Hello.”

I turn to stare at him, taking in every last piece to memorise by heart. He looks down, avoiding my eyes entirely, muttering something under his breath.

“Hi.”

That was all that was ever said in lessons.

I'd asked him to sit with me repeatedly, but I guess it was too awkward for him. He'd normally sit in the corner of a library, reading whilst listening to music.

“What are you listening to?” I asked, interrupting him.

“Not much. You'd find it boring.” Atlas admitted, staring at me from above his book.

“You want to go somewhere tomorrow?” I suggested.

“Oh. Sure.”

I met him by the bridge in the village, following the striped yellow paint imprinted on each side of the road with my eyes. The tips of my fingers running against the rigidness of the stone wall. We met in the middle, sitting upon the stone whilst watching the murky brown of the water swish by. Overgrown weeds and water reeds nestle on the river bank, whispering unknown words to the world.

A car or two passes by, the croaky sound of the engine implanted in my head.

“So..” he starts.

“Why do you avoid me at school?”

Silence falls instantly like a bomb being dropped. No response..?

“Um..I don't know.”

“Okay.”

I breathe in slowly, counting the amount of times I can do it in a minute. The sky is a musky grey colour, clouds invading every inch of the air.

“You know I think you're pretty.” Atlas remarks.

I opened my mouth just to shut it closed again. I've lost all control of my heartbeat now. A warm, fuzzy feeling fills me inside and out, making me go red to the core.

“Have you ever been in love, atlas?” I query.

Atlas coughs in a laugh-like way as if I just said something funny. Did I?

“Haha..no.”

A sinking feeling appears in my stomach, forcing me to be quiet. My shoulders have slumped back into my regular habits, frowning lightly. 

I over-thought it?

I stand up, jumping down and motioning for him to walk with me. We stayed like that for a while, walking in silence, taking in the surroundings of the serene buildings. Grey stone blocks shaped into houses, supporting moss and bushes across the walls.

This boy might as well have just given me a heart attack.

He still ignores me at school, refuses to make eye contact yet I do catch him staring, sometimes to the point where he gets flustered and anxious.

“Atlas.” I demand, in one lesson.

“Hmm.” he whispers.

“Come to the forest with me tomorrow?”

“Okay.”

I wait for him at the rusted gates, a path shooting down into the greenness of the dense forest. An arch stands over me, shaped like the entrance of a castle with turrets filled with ivy protruding out of the top. I see him pace over to where I'm standing, following behind me as I start to walk off. The trees engulf us in their territory in every footstep.

We wander down a moss laden stone path, fern plants scattered on both sides hiding in the bushes of azaleas. Oak trees overhang above us, sending small patches of light onto the ground. Silence amplified the pounding of my heart in my chest. Our hands brush against each other slightly, making me buzz in excitement.

Does he feel the same things I do?

The winding rope enlarged with each step we took. The howling wind softened into a mild breeze, releasing my wild hair from its grasp.

A wash of relief pours over me when I spot a clean looking bench. I stroll towards it, placing myself in the middle. Atlas pushed himself next to me, a branch sticking out and blocking his view of the lake before us. The water lapped itself up in little waves, glimmering under the sun. It isn't a big lake - the size of three swimming pools put together maybe. Light ripples of water rung in my ear, chirping and calling from the birds echoed around the forest peacefully.

“Have you ever been in love?” Atlas asked.

I look back at him, contemplating if I should be honest.

“Once,” I whispered “Have you?”

He closed his eyes and hummed quietly under his breath, his breathing grew ragged and sharp. His hair flopped in front of his face as he stared down at his lap fiddling with his hands. He glanced up at me, his dark eyes met with mine, never leaving them once.

“Not until now.”

He reaches out, placing his palms against my face, looking for any sign of approval. I nod, causing him to pull me into him, shutting my eyes hesitantly. Skin against skin, lips against his, brushing against each other repeatedly. Our breaths fanned across each other's faces.

I could've sworn I was standing in that field of pinks and greens.