Wiser, Smarter

I can’t believe it, another instance of someone lacking common sense. I am on my way to the university for my research and I am startled by a driver who swerves in and out around the lanes and other cars. Going maybe forty miles over the limit. I take notice that his vehicle is of particularly high stock. No doubt he seeks the thrill that can be accompanied by speed and near danger. Too bad for him he seems to have crashed his vehicle not long after he passed me. Unfortunately, his stupidity has hindered more than just himself today. The crash piled up traffic for hours and left the other driver in critical condition. All of this, because someone wanted to go fast. Either that or the maverick with the car wanted to shorten his commute. But he managed to muck it up for everyone else and cause much more harm instead.

 This is going to be torture. The university is forcing me to teach an underclassmen course in neurobiology. Those ingrates will most likely ignore me or won’t understand my lectures. I have just arrived at my first class, and it appears only about half the students have shown up again. And of that half that attended only about forty percent are sincerely listening and taking notes. The rest either nod off or are doing something else. I peruse around the hall and find them either doodling or looking at their smartphones. These students pay so much for this education and yet they toss it aside just like that. The university could care less about it because they only care about making money at this juncture in time. Can they not see that if we enable this ignorance and lack of intelligence we doom the future. A future wrought with ignorant, reckless, and idiotic fools only smart enough to work in a retail career.

These infernal devices: first came the television referred to as an “idiot box” now we have these smartphones which are shall we say, “moron rectangles”, which not only function as idiot boxes but also do far worse. They allow instant access to information, making those who use them believe that they do not have to remember anything, thereby dimming the memory and intellectual potential of everyone who uses them. Not only that, but they also allow one to freely express their opinion to anyone, even though people who read said opinion might not agree with the poster. Inciting others to mindlessly spout out anything they feel strongly about, creates conflict and disorder.

 This overwhelming amount of stupidity and lack of common sense in the world today is simply appalling. I intend to do something about it. Thankfully my career in neurobiology will make such a feat possible. It has taken me years to make something that would even remotely solve this vexing problem. Analyzing the frontal lobe of the brain to ensure that the formula will get them to process information more carefully and the amygdala to trigger the flight in the fight or flight response so that people will be more likely to avoid situations for thrills. My latest batch of tests with mice have been most promising. The mice without the formula seem to finish the maze slightly faster, although they take more dangerous pathways in the maze to reach the cheese at the end. However, the test subjects with the serum solved the maze in a shorter amount of time. They managed to complete it without injury, avoiding the more dangerous parts of the maze to reach the cheese. The success rate with this latest batch of serum has led me to conclude that it is ready for its first field test. I have invited some of the students who are falling behind to an extra credit study session. Undenounced to them, the water I have provided at the study session has been laced with the formula that I have tested on the rats. Thankfully the students have no problem taking something free.

It has been about six weeks since I first introduced the serum to the student body. From what I have heard around the school the serum seems to have been quite effective. From what I hear grades are up all over the school and students seem to be paying attention in class. And they are not just paying attention in class, from what I hear they are focusing on their studies more and not going to parties and clubs. I will soon see the results of the serum with my own eyes, as I have a class with students who have ingested my formula in the next few hours. After that, I will know how effective my solution is and perhaps it is time to expand the reach of my formula to other universities, or even beyond.

I have been brought in chains to an FBI facility a few months after attempting to distribute my formula to other schools, which means either something has gone wrong, or my efforts have been discovered. Two officers come into the interrogation room. One of them sits down files in his hand and spreads them out on the table. He says “That’s the trouble when humans try to fix humanity. You make plenty of mistakes along the way and end up breaking it instead.” The scientist does not understand. The standing officer puts down the laptop that he has under his shoulder. He shows footage of one of the students exposed to the doctor’s formula. He sits in the chair motionless. The doctor is shocked by the student’s eyes, darting around looking everywhere. The officer with the laptop says “From the doctor’s preliminary analysis. It looks like your solution did stop him from doing stupid things. But he can’t tell what is stupid and what is not at this point. As such he is overanalyzing everything. Overloading his prefrontal cortex with too many stimuli for it to handle at once. In a sense, he is overanalyzing every aspect of everything he does. Essentially paralyzing him.” The officer sitting down continues “And this is not the only case.” He opens some of the files that he has put on the table showing other people in the same state. The officer says “Being stupid isn’t a crime. But hurting people is. Especially with un-tested drugs. And tampering with the water system to introduce said drugs to the population of the school is certainly another big crime.” The guards come in and unhook me from the interrogation table to take me back to my cell. I will no doubt be taken back to my cell and then to a more permanent facility, possibly to never be seen again.