The Monster Under Her Bed

Dedicated to my new little sister, we may not be related by blood but we are related in spirit.

We live in the mansion up the winding road. 

Yes, that mansion. 

The one with the bats perched precariously on the windowsills and spiderwebs littering every corner and strange screams from time to time. It’s just my little sister and I, and I promise we’re not scary. Everyone says we’re scary people with a scary house, but I prefer to think of us as quirky recluses with an eccentric living style.

Our story takes place around two am:

I’m still wide awake in my bed since I can’t fall asleep until the sun rises, and I hear a knock on the door. I already know who it is, so I offer up a “Come in.”

My kid sister, Lilith, pushes the door open with a drawn out creak. I smile a soft little smile as she dashes to my bedside and scrambles her way into my bed. She kicks her little-bitty feet in her lilac footie pajamas a few times and curls up into my side.

“Ambrose, I’m scared,” she whispers as she clings to me.

I hum contemplatively. “Scared of what, my little spider-catcher.”

“There’s a monster under my bed.”

I grin at hearing this. “Well that’s wonderful news, my dear nebula. Why don’t we go meet him or her or them and see if they would like to stay in the spare bedroom?” We keep the inside of our house fairly free of cockroaches and spiderwebs, but the spare room has gone dismally unappreciated. It is coated in the remnants of insects past and I believe the single light inside has gone dim. But I hope a mythical creature would be kind enough to look past these details and stay the night. “Come, little one. Let's make acquaintances with our new friend.”

But Lilith just shakes her head into my nightgown sleeve and I can now feel it growing soggy with fresh tears.

“Would you like me to introduce myself solo?” Again, she moves her head from side to side and quivers against me.

Now I have a conundrum.

She wants to stay here but wants to be with me.

I ponder this for a moment before hoisting her into the air and adjusting her on my hip. I snag the flashlight off my bedside table and we head off to meet the monster. Her golden locks bounce as we walk and she shudders further into my side. Hopefully she’ll realize once we get there that monsters are nothing to fear, just misunderstood creatures much like ourselves.

At least I hope.

I’m excited to meet a fantastic creature for the first time. Though our parents told us stories of them I’ve never had the pleasure of encountering one before.

We reach Lilith’s door, (not a difficult trek considering we are one door down from each other), and I swing open the door rather carelessly. I parade past the sea of toys and set Lilith down on her bed with a bounce. I swiftly crouch to my hands and knees and begin to shine the flashlight in a circular motion.

To my displeasure, the underside of the bed is entirely empty apart from a few dust bunnies.

“Lilith, I see no monsters under here. Perhaps you were mistaken and just heard tree branches banging against the house?”

“I think it’s hiding in the closet,” she whispered out in response.

I shoot up like a lightning bolt and make my way over to the closet. I fling open the door and wave my flashlight back and forth. All I can find is the dresses she refuses to wear and the T-shirts and shorts she actually makes use of. “Sweetie, there is no monster in here.” I do try my best to hide the disappointment in my tone.

“It must be hiding somewhere else then.” Her voice is a pout rather than the cheery bubble it normally takes the form of.

“Well I’m sure we can meet it in the morning.” I turn off my flashlight, letting Lilith’s plethora of amethyst night lights illuminate her bedroom.

“Can—“ she stutters as she speaks “—can I sleep in your room tonight?”

I smile warmly. “Of course you can, my little firefly. You are more than welcome to come to me anytime you want.” She already knows this, but I try to reiterate at any opportunity I get.

I waltz over to her bed and lift her towards the ceiling once again. She giggles softly and a smile creeps its way onto my face. We walk through my doorway and I drop her unceremoniously onto my bed with its many pillows.

I lift up the quilt and we both climb into its warm embrace. She cuddles into my side and I wrap my arms around her.

I love her from the very bottom of my cold, dead heart.

And I can’t believe I’ll have to leave soon.

-

I wake up at four in the morning to the sound of stifled sniffles. It takes me a moment to realize they are not coming from myself but rather my baby sister.

I turn towards her to see she is curled into a tight little ball facing away from me. I silently remove myself from my sheets and tiptoe over to face her. “Lilith?” I ask gingerly. She finally seems to take note of my presence and turns to look up at me. Her gaze is filled with tears and her eyes and the surrounding area are flushed rosy pink. Snot gushes out of Lilith’s little nose and runs down her face. I can see the area where her face sat on the mattress is now run through with bodily fluids. I suppose I’ll have to do laundry tomorrow. “My darling, what’s wrong?”

She doesn’t respond and instead turns her face back into the mattress, leaving a trail of boogers on my fine linens.

“Moonlight, I can’t help you if I don’t know what's going on.”

She quickly turns to look back up at me and does something pitifully dreadful between a sob and a hiccup.

“Why would you care? You’re gonna leave soon anyway, I only have two hundred days left with you in the mansion.” Then she sobs again and turns to face away from me completely.

It was true. Even freak recluses had to grow up eventually. I am going to college at the beginning of the new school year, and I was unhappy with this fact to incredible proportions.  Lilith would be staying with her grandparents Gram Gram and Popsy. Of course I was glad to be furthering my education, considering I was something of a genius it was a necessary step towards getting a job too.

But to leave Lilith behind?

I loved her with all my heart and what little soul I had in my body. I had cared for her for two years now, and I loved every second of it. To leave her was agony, suffering at its finest. It felt like one thousand needles to the spine and the crunching of bones.

I hated it.

But sometimes we have to do things we hate in order to better ourselves, others, or the world around us. Hopefully I will be doing all three.

“Dear,” if possible, she shuffled even further from me. “Please look at me.” When she didn’t, I chose to speak anyway. “I love you. And I know it doesn’t seem like it with me leaving, but you are my treasure. Please, understand something: I am not truly leaving you alone forever. I will return after my educational stint and we will live together in this mansion for all of time. I will write to you everyday and visit every weekend while I’m enrolled. If you need me, I will find a sorcerer's spell to teleport me instantly to your side and I will be there for you.

“I love you beyond the possibilities of love and no matter what it feels like I will always be with you in spirit. Please, do not miss me as much as I shall miss you. Instead, be happy for me as I will be happy for you. I will smile for you everyday you get to spend with your incredible grandparents, and I pray you can do the same thing for me.”

Her tears had stopped and she stared at me wide eyed. She sat frozen while hopefully running my words over in her head. Then she let out a tiny little “okay” and reached up for me. We embraced in full and I sat back down in my bed with her clinging to me.

This was just how it should have been.

Her in my arms, forever safe, forever loved.

I was beginning to suspect there was no monster under her bed, but that was okay.

It’s not like I could sleep anyways.