Walk to the Purple Mountain

By the time I stepped outside, the leaves were on fire. Everything was either yellow or orange or red. The ground below was carpeted in autumnal colors too. Did Autumn come early this year? I was still a bit forgetful, a bit confused after the heavy medication and intensive treatments.

“Ma’am, take this with you,” the girl wrapped me in a pashmina shawl.

It was the first time I stepped out of my cabin. From my window, I used to see a distant purple mountain. In my confusion, I always wanted to climb it. Now I found that the purple mountain was neither that purple nor that far away. It had a purplish hue, and it towered over the horizon. Below it, as far as my eyes could see, the Earth was on fire.

“What’s your name again?” I asked the girl.

“Shia ma'am.”

We walked to the bench and sat down. I wondered if they had brought me to some special facility to treat.

“What is this place?”

“Riconia. I told you yesterday, don’t you remember?”

“Nah,” I sighed. Before committing the stupidity that day to back off from the project, I had barely expected to be this disabled.

“You are doing great these days. See, your shakes are almost gone.”

I liked this girl. She was so compassionate.

“Will you like a lemonade?”

I nodded.

“I’ll just go and get one.”

She returned to the infirmary building. It was comprised of multiple, newly painted white wooden cottages.

I looked at the purple mountain, trying to remember its name. Nothing came to me. I sighed. I understood that my career in Space Engineering was doomed. But everything had a price. I had paid the price to escape being on the same planet with Ed and Rita. They must be in their hypersleep now, traveling to Earth 991. After ten years, they would reach Earth 991, and I would be ten years older here. They, along with many others, would grow apples, build cottages, go fishing, set up research centers at the new human habitation, and I would still miss my Ed. I tried to figure out how much time had passed since the launch but could not remember today’s date. It could not be that long. I could not be sleeping for weeks, could I? I made it a point to ask Shia today’s date once she returned.

I looked around. It was a beautiful place. I should come out for walks often.

Being sick brought you an immense amount of time to introspect. I started doing it now.

This was the year 2062. The Sleeper Ships 991 A, B, and C were to travel with an odd nine hundred passengers each, to Earth 991, an Earth-like planet in Hensazon Galaxy, millions of light-years away from our Earth. Leaving Earth forever was not an easy decision. The crew and passengers underwent intense interviewing to screen out people who could balk out at the last moment. The crew underwent rigorous training and testing. From the beginning to the final launch, it was two-year preparation time. I was technical in charge of Sleeper 991 A. Tiya was my co. I was part of the traveling crew before I chickened out.

Everything was going on as it was supposed to go for me – firming my decision; convincing my friends and sister; pacifying my aching heart that I would not be able to see Ed henceforth, even if I wanted to, etc., until the full crew meet six months before the zero hour.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, let’s meet our new Project Commander, Edward Tesarik. As you all know, we lost our initial Project Commander, dear Danny, a few days back in an unfortunate accident. But we are lucky that Mr. Tesarik has finally agreed to take up the responsibility. He was anyway one of our passengers.”

My ears had gone buzzing since he uttered “Edward Tesarik.” My heart was pounding so hard that I felt Tiya would be able to hear the sound.

She nudged me, “Hey, did you hear that? Edward Tesarik was one of our passengers. I didn’t know that!”

“What?” My head had stopped working.

“I was thinking, why would he leave National Space Inc.? But then it all makes sense now. Why would he not join us if he was already traveling with us! He was working on a similar project there too.”

“What are you blabbering?”

“Did you not know your guy was our passenger?”

“Ed is not my guy, and I didn’t know.”

“Okay. You knew he was supposed to be our new Project Commander, didn't you? It was big news in the circles when his name came up after Danny’s incident. Where were you?”

“I was busy. So should be you.”

“The boys are crazy about him. I wonder how you could let him go.”

“I didn’t…”

Shaking my head, I got up and walked out of the packed auditorium. People were excited to meet the new Project Commander. They were celebrating the celebrity space scientist. Every single wound in my heart had gone raw by Tiya’s “How you could let him go?”

It was not me. It was never me. I was always head over heels in love with him. When we started dating, I toiled to be a better fit for him, so that he never had to feel embarrassed because of me. He was the prodigy. I had to be worthy of him. I studied harder, attended seminars and lectures like mad, submitted papers for publications, applied to top-notch companies for jobs. I even tried not to waste his time by idling around. I did everything in my capacity to make him feel proud of me. But, in the end, I still lost him.

“Reine, I don’t think it will work out well for us,” were the words.

I had run to his home to inform him that I had landed the job at Space Tech Corporation. It was past midnight. The long, step by step interview had taken up the whole day. I got late for our dinner date. When I reached, he was sitting alone at the table. Candles had burned down. In my joy of nailing the interview, I did not notice anything. All I wanted was to jump on him and give him the big news. I wanted to surprise him. At last, I was truly worthy of him with an appointment letter from the prestigious organization in my hands.

“Reine, I don’t think it will work out well for us,” came as a blow. My world got shattered by a single sentence. I froze on the spot, unable to breathe. Did I hear it right?

He got up from the table and walked up to me. He kissed me on the forehead and, before walking out, said, “Live your life, Reine. Live it how it should be lived. Good night and belated happy birthday.”

Reality struck me then. I noticed the decorations and the cake. I saw the beer bottles holding evidence of friends who had come to join the surprise party. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I finally walked out, dragging myself. How I had reached home that day, I could never remember.

I was so convinced that he was utterly disappointed with me that I could never gather enough courage to contact him again. Neither did he. I stalked him over social media until a few months later when a pretty girl named Rita tagged him in her photos. They looked happy together. The kind of happy I had always wanted him to be with me. My last flame of hope of a life with him got snuffed out. I completely shut myself down initially, then started the mad datings with anybody and everybody. But nobody could fill the void.

Ed was always famous in our circles. Even if I did not try, news about him still reached me.

“He joined National Space Inc.”

“He received this award.”

“They are going to get married.”

Done. Thereafter, I stayed away from any discussions about him altogether.

It had been seven years when I met him next in that crew meet.

“I saw you walk out of the auditorium.”

I almost choked on my coffee, hearing the very known, deep voice. My immediate instinct was to run away before I lost control and did something stupid. But self-respect stopped me. I was no more that girl in her twenties who had bawled like a baby for three months after getting dumped, at least I had thought so.

“I’m surprised you joined us at this point. Aren’t private corps below you?” I asked, trying to be sarcastic.

“They pay a fucking lot. But that’s not the point. I wanted to join.”

“How can you decide to migrate all of a sudden? It’s not a vacation in Australia. It’s like dying here and being born somewhere else.”

“It’s not sudden. I had registered in the very beginning. They told it today, didn’t you hear? I decided to join when I found you were in the crew.”

“What about Rita?”

“Rita’s sister wanted to do it. So, Rita decided to do it too…”

“Whatever,” I started walking away, but Ed grabbed my wrist.

“Wait. I have to talk to you. Let’s have a coffee.”

“No. Thank you,” I freed myself from his grip and hurried away.

I struggled through the meeting that whole day. Avoided Ed. Then at night, I again bawled like the old me.

“Ma’am, your lemonade... Oh, oh, did I surprise you?”

I jolted back to reality at Shia’s call.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Shia... Let’s walk there,” I pointed towards the red-orange forest ahead.

“Okay. But don’t strain yourself much.”

We started strolling between the trees. What I had thought as maples were not maple trees exactly. The leaves were different. They had a rounded shape.

“What trees are these?” I asked.

“They call these marples, similar to our maple. Aren’t they pretty?” she said with a happy smile.

“Hm,” I could not remember seeing a marple tree before.

After walking in silence for some time, Shia asked, “Do you miss your family?”

My family was my sister, but we had our independent lives. If needed, she would come over or give me a call. I did not miss her really.

“Not really.”

“Do you remember why you chose to participate in Project Earth 991?” She asked.

“Are you trying to check my memory? Do you do this often?”

“No, ah, I mean, I just wanted to know.”

I smiled at her awkward look.

“It’s okay. Part of your job, I understand. I wanted to run away from Earth, that’s why.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s personal.”

“Oh, am so sorry…” her face turned scarlet.

I started laughing, “Sorry, I was messing with you. Let’s tell you the story. There’s no point hiding it anyway. So, there was this boy whom I loved so much. I could do anything for him.”

She kept silent, and I continued after a pause, “Only if he had asked… but he didn’t. He didn’t understand it, or maybe I couldn’t make him understand, and he left. Later, he found the love of his life, and they married in a happily ever after kind of way.”

I paused for some time.

“I was selfish, you see. I did not congratulate them even. I stayed away and tried to forget them, but could not do it either. So, I decided to gift them something in the hope of getting closure. Finally, I found the perfect gift, an Earth free of me.”

“Earth free of you?”

“Hm. If I went to Earth 991, they could have the whole Earth to themselves, isn’t it? But then they chose Earth 991, and so I..."

“Then why did you try to kill yourself?” she asked with a surprised look. I smiled at her naivety.

“I did not try to kill myself. It was over-enthusiastic dosing on my part. I wanted to be sure that I was left back…”

I drifted back to my memories again.

Day zero had arrived. Final day activity spur was everywhere. Everyone was checking and rechecking every detail for a glitch-free launch. The three Sleeper 991s would be taking the intergalactic leap for ten years and would be landing at three different locations on Earth 991. Every calculation and safety measures had to be perfect. Accidents and mistakes could not happen in this super expensive migration project. All of us were on our toes, and especially me. I had to get the ships ready for the perfect launch and had to be perfectly sick myself to be left back on Earth.

The last six months since meeting Ed at the crew meet, I had been in terrible dilemmas. The whole point of leaving the planet was falling apart. I tried to change my Ship allotment. I thought of backing off, but the project was too close to the heart. I wanted to push the ships off the coast myself. I met Ed a million times at meetings and assignments and fought with him at every opportunity to escape a normal conversation. I met Rita, too, during her training sessions. Many times, it felt like she was trying to talk to me, but I always avoided her. It was not like I wanted anything bad for them, but I could not bear seeing them together either. It bruised my heart every time I saw one of them.

Finally, I decided that if Ed and Rita wanted Earth 991, so be it. I would stay back on Earth. It was either Earth or Earth 991, whichever they wanted.

I had wasted a lot of time deciding, and it got too late for the straight path. I knew it was wrong, very wrong, but I was helpless. If something severe happened to someone before the launch, the rule was that crewmember, or the passenger would be taken off the ships to be included in a later project. I knew it was not that simple. But as per my friend from the medical crew, the scenario was hypothetical. They were sure this situation could never arise because we were undergoing rigorous medical check-ups regularly. I had decided to use this loophole. All the crew members were in doubles as a safety measure. Tiya was mine, and she was a competent one at that. I was sure the mission would stay unscathed even if I backed off.

“Are you tired?” Shia asked, seeing me standing at a spot for a long time.

“No, am fine.”

“When they found you, you were cold and barely breathing. Dr. Jason had given you some antidotes already; otherwise, there would have been irreversible damages, if not worse.”

“Jason?” I asked. Jason was my friend from the medical crew. We had become buddies after the initial few futile dates.

“Dr. Jason said, you had taken a hell lot of antihypertensives. He and Dr. Tiya were the ones who discovered you. They did not understand how bad the situation was at first. But when you did not respond to the initial treatments, they panicked. They brought you to the med-pod…”

“Med-pod? Not to the hospital?”

“Med-pods are super-efficient in managing any emergencies by themselves, and anyway, we were in deep space already...”

I looked around at the marples and the purple mountain. My head had started reeling.

“Is it Earth 991?”

“Yes, ma’am. After stabilizing, they put you in hypersleep. It did a hell lot of good actually. Some residual effects still stayed. But you are much better…”

I leaned on a tree trunk. I had a sinking feeling.

“Ma'am, are you feeling too bad? Let’s go back then.”

“No, I want to stay some more.”

“Are you...”

“It’s okay Shia. I am here.” My body gave a jerk at the deep voice.

“Sure, sir.”

I kept staring at the purple mountain, fighting the urge to run. He walked up and put a coat over my shoulders.

“The air is chilly here in the mornings, like our autumns.”

I stayed still, controlling my pace of breathing.

“If you want to climb the purple mountain, we can go for a trip there.”

I turned around and faced him. It had been an eternity since I had looked at him like that. That same handsome face and intelligent eyes, except now his hair had some streaks of grey now.

“Your hair?”

“I thought I would lose you forever. I stayed up.”

“What do you mean? Did you not go into hibernation?”

“I did not trust the medical pods entirely.”

“How could you?”

“How could you?”

“I wanted to let you two come to Earth 991.”

“If you mean Rita, we are friends, yes, but that doesn’t mean we have to be on the same planet.”

“Friends? When did you get divorced?!”

“We never got married. Yes, we had got engaged, but then realized we were not meant to be. She is here with her husband.”

“What nonsense!”

“If you shut yourself out, how am I supposed to reach you, Reine?”

“I thought I was never good enough for you, so I...”

“This was the exact bullshit why I broke up.. don't start again.”

“You broke up..”

“To let you have a normal life. I thought I was ruining your life…”

“You did not.”

“I got it later. When I failed to reach you, I waited that one day you will come, but you kept running.”

I was too shocked to say anything. My whole life could not be a huge misunderstanding.

“Mind holding my hand now?” he asked after a long pause.

When I still stayed silent, he took my hand and said, “Let’s walk to the purple mountain.”

And finally, we started walking through the forest on fire.