Silence for Ralph Smiley

Ralph Smiley confidently looked in the mirror. His upcoming novel was going to make him financially secure, and his hidden talent as a writer would finally be revealed to the ruthless world.   

He smiled at himself and straightened his collar. People were going to be shocked, especially the ones who thought he was slow. Finally, after all this time, he would have the last laugh.  

For the past 30 years Smiley had worked hard at the shoe factory. Being on the tail end of the assembly line required a tremendous amount of responsibility, and he had strived to be a stellar employee. 

He was in charge of the final production step in the shoe making process. Smiley had to be sure each newly assembled shoe was stuffed with molded paper. This step was crucial for the survival of the shoe, according to company policy. 

If the paper was inserted properly, the shoe kept a healthy shape. His boss even claimed that the production department’s final stage prevented shoe deterioration during the shipping process. 

Smiley doubted the entire shoe-stuffing claims, but he did his job correctly because he was a good employee. He had been putting half of his check in a savings account for years. He relied on seeing that paycheck every week and it made him a dependable employee. Under his name on the identification tag, “Finished Products Technician” was a little too large and bold in print. It made his name look small and he hated the title.

He took a second look in the mirror and thought of the money and prestige that was going to come his way. It had taken a while to get everything ready and he was a very tired man, but his face only disclosed confidence.

The upcoming novel had been formulating in his head for several years, and now the creativity needed to be cashed in. All he needed to do now was get the novel written on the computer screen. Smiley had no notes, but he didn’t need any. The content of the book was stored in his head. 

Several things had to line up for the novel writing to take place, but the first important thing was the completion of the writing room.  

Smiley also knew he had to have complete silence when he wrote — not the kind of silence one gets from spending time in a library, but the absolute absence of noise. He already had quite a bit of babble in his head and silence was the only way he could concentrate.

The novel had to be written in a sound proof room and there could be no entry points for any outside noise. Smiley knew this was crucial and had laid out his plans well.  

A decade ago Smiley had purchased 40 acres just outside of town. The novel was just a thought at that time but it grew over the years. He knew he had a masterpiece inside waiting to be written. 

He had built a one-room structure in the middle of the land specifically to be used as a writing place. It was finally complete and all he had to do was go in the room and write.

The middle of the building showcased his throne, a flat oak desk with a lower pull-out drawer for a keyboard. A 25-inch monitor was situated toward the front of the desk, a few inches from the edge. It was a perfect fit for his viewing area. 

The monitor was one that would not produce any noise, not even a a low-grade hum. He knew it was completely silent because he had tested it numerous times.  

The keyboard was also quiet, and had recessed rubber keys. He had already tested it, too, and even with the force of his stubby fingers hitting the keyboard, the process made no noise.

The floor and walls were thoroughly soundproofed. He had meticulously researched the situation and was quite satisfied with his creation.

He had covered the first layer of the floor with black rubbery foam matting squares, usually found on the floor of gyms. On top of that was a three inch layer of soft carpet. These coverings absorbed any noise that could occur. 

The thick casings on the floor were smooth and soft to the touch. Smiley knew it would be comfortable when he needed a power nap.

The lone window was covered with the same type acoustic panel found on the walls and ceiling. Smiley studied acoustics diligently and learned about the NRC, or noise reduction coefficient. 

He chose an NRC level of six. He knew that a level one was suitable for an audio recording studio, but he wanted to make sure it was as quiet as possible. 

The window also had the added protection of heavily made extra noise cancelling drapes. They hung nicely in front, reminding him that a window was supposedly there.

A solid wood front door had every crevice sealed from the outside world. The doorknob had been removed and the hole tightly fitted with the acoustic foam. 

The door had been the final part of the project, and Smiley was totally engaged until the finish. The entire soundproofing was quite a physical task, and he dedicated at least five hard hours a day. He was in the best physical shape ever. 

Soundproofing the room was also an expensive endeavor. All the money in his savings account had been depleted because of the project, but the proceeds from his novel would more than replace any spent money. Smiley imagined numerous savings accounts and stock market options in his future.

During the planning stages, a delicate problem had been conquered. Smiley had been anxious about the necessity of a bathroom. He worried that the noise from a toilet flush could destroy his train of thought. After convincing himself there was no such thing as a silent commode, he decided to junk the idea and have no modern toilet.

Smiley’s creative mind came up with an alternative. He persuaded his doctor to order a catheter after numerous fake complaints were made of not being able to urinate. He planned to connect the catheter to a 40-gallon glass jug, which he estimated would last for the duration of the writing. 

Lavender drops would help the urine smell, and he kept several bottles of the fragrant aroma. The other bodily elimination issue was also solved in an imaginative way. Smiley purchased four 10-gallon air tight steel drums with lids which could easily be removed with a standard crowbar. 

Twenty bags of cat litter were stacked alongside the wall by the steel drums. A little litter sprinkle after elimination should take care of any problem.

For nourishment, he had a shelved wall heavily stocked with an assortment of canned foods with peel off lids. Smiley estimated he had enough food for four months, so there was more than enough time to write his masterpiece. He wasn’t a big eater anyway.

He had sold his car the week before and the post office had been notified to stop delivering his mail. Nobody ever came to see him anyway, so he wouldn’t be missed. None of this bothered him because he knew that fame was soon to come.

Quitting the job had been easy. He only gave a 24-hour notice, but his boss didn’t seem to mind. It was the only time he hadn’t been a good employee.

He had spent much of his life being ignored, but changes were coming. He took a deep breath before he entered the room, giving the outside world one last smile. He was ready. He finally closed the door and began to write his masterpiece.

Because of Smiley’s loner status, his body wan’t found until months later. A lost logger had turned down the wrong road and came upon the room. The logger told authorities he immediately thought something was amiss.

At first the coroner had a difficult time identifying a specific cause of death. The temperature on the inside of the room had reached almost 100 degrees but medical personnel said it wasn’t hot enough to cause death. 

After an autopsy, the official cause of death was asphyxiation due to lack of oxygen. The medical examiner said there was absolutely no ventilation in the room due to improper air flow. The autopsy results also showed dehydration and malnourishment.

The police found what was originally thought to be a suicide note, but after further investigation, a press release stated the alleged note appeared to be the first page of a short fiction piece.