Warm October Rain

“We’re running out of time”, Luke muttered, looking out of the rounded windows of The Capitol Limited. The October sun was beginning to set as the train churned up the tracks past Cumberland, Maryland, turning the leaves yellow and orange, a sign of their impending death as winter approached. At the age of nineteen, Luke just had one of the best weekends of his life.

Lost in thought, he turned and looked back at Jesse, sitting in the seat across from him. A bottle of Coke sat between Jesse’s legs; his bold green eyes were looking down at his phone—probably playing some game or looking at social media. Like he always does. His shaggy sandy blonde hair was too long and needed to be cut; the stubble from his chin was getting more profound, since he forgot to bring a razor. Jesse wore a grey hoodie and blue jeans, his white tennis shoes were beginning to show wear from all of the walking that they did this past weekend. 

Luke turned and looked at his own reflection. His grey eyes were not as bold as Jesse’s. Luke’s brown hair was cut in a suitable style that was popular about ten years ago, but he didn’t care. He had the same haircut since middle school. Luke’s purple sweatshirt and dark blue pants were cozy, but it was still chilly in the train car. 

He heard his stomach grumble, and he realized they hadn’t eaten since this afternoon while waiting to board the train. Jesse was still sitting there looking at his phone, he did not hear what Luke said. Luke turned to the window again and went back into his thoughts.

This was Luke’s second time on a train. The first had been just a few days before as their weekend started. He met Jesse online on a friend finding app. Thanks to the app’s metrics- they connected, and although Jesse lived all the way in Cleveland, they still found a lot in common. They shared a love of soccer, weird Kpop music, and street food, which they gorged on a lot the last few days. Luke still remembered their first video chat on FaceTime; his hair was a hot mess. 

After a few months of talking, Luke and Jesse decided that it was time to meet in person through this trip. They planned it for weeks, mapping out expenses, and saving money for the train and restaurants. They finally were ready and booked everything at the beginning of the month. Jesse was a journeyman with the Carpenters Union, but Luke was studying Musicology at the University of Pittsburgh. As a poor college student, Luke was strapped for cash and Jesse planned to help out by paying more. Luke felt that was not necessary because technically they just met, but secretly he appreciated it.

Skipping his Thursday classes, which he had never done before, Luke went down to Pittsburgh’s Amtrak station. Its harsh fluorescent waiting room and bleak interior were blinding at 5AM. When the train finally chugged into the station, Luke boarded and eventually found Jesse in the observation car, listening to music through his headphones, the kind that look like tin cans. Jesse smiled with a toothy grin as they began their journey to the nation’s capital together. 

Although they talked for a while, Jesse eventually fell asleep on Luke’s shoulder. After all, he had been up a lot longer than Luke at that point since he had come from all the way from up by that “damn lake.” The source of what seems to be all of Pittsburgh’s snow during the winter months.

By early afternoon the train reached Union Station in Washington. Jesse woke up just as the train reached the station “ehh, sorry for drooling on you”, he said sleepily. Luke just smiled and grabbed their bags. They disembarked and went onto the bustle of the street. 

Luke was surprised that Washington was so busy, a lot different from Pittsburgh. He had never been to D.C. before. After a short walk to the Capitol, Jesse took a selfie with the dome in the background. He posted it on his Facebook page, with the caption “we made it”. It only gathered a few likes, one person commented “who is that dude you are with?” Luke felt a little embarrassed.

They continued down onto the National Mall. It was a nice sunny day, rare for October, the temperature was in the high sixties. They found a vendor selling hot dogs with all the “fixins”, and Mexican Cokes. Luke paid. He could afford this meal. Albeit it is more than what it would cost in Pittsburgh. They ate in silence while the cool fall breeze blew dust whirls across the mall. 

Walking past the Capitol again, and then up New Jersey Avenue, they finally made it to the hotel Jesse had picked out. It was one of those chic, newly remodeled “boutique” lodgings. Luke noticed the modern furniture sprinkled throughout the lobby as Jesse checked them in. To save costs, they agreed that they would share a room. Luke thought it might be a bit awkward, but then the clerk handed them the keys, a card with a protruding dot. They went up the elevator and down the fourth-floor hallway. It was just as tastefully decorated with modern furniture. Couches with low backs and chairs with poofy ottomans. Luke wondered if anyone ever sits in them.

Jesse poked the dot at the flat disc where the deadbolt for the door would usually be and opened the door. The room was decorated in an eggshell color, with a purple accent wall. Two queen sized beds with purple duvets, a desk with a wooden chair, television, mini fridge. All standard hotel items. 

“This is nice”, Luke said softly. He looked around at everything and took it all in. Jesse was looking around at different amenities, but was fixated on the accent wall. ”It was a bit of a secret when we were planning, but I picked this hotel because I knew you like the color purple,” Jesse said with a smile. 

Luke was speechless, no one ever picked something for him. His parents did of course. But that was their job. 

He looked over to the purple accent wall. “I…” He didn’t know how to reply. He put his head down staring at the cream-colored carpet. 

Jesse was a bit surprised and had a slight frown, he took his hands and put them under Luke’s chin. Moving his head back up to look at him. Luke couldn’t help but notice how soft his hands were, especially for someone who does physical work.

 “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything Luke, I know this was a bit of a surprise.”, Jesse said softly. They were standing inches apart. Their knees almost touching.

The room fell silent.

That is when Luke felt it. 

They say when you really like someone that you get butterflies in your stomach, but to him it felt like a punch in his gut. 

Luke never felt this way before, physically overcome with emotions and feelings.

 He was speechless, melting like a pat of butter in a hot skillet when you make grilled cheese. Both of them had confided in each other so much over the past few months. He shared more with Jesse than he even shares with his therapist. But this was different… 

Luke was beginning to blush as he stared into Jesse’s green eyes. The soft touch of Jesse’s fingers still under his chin. Luke had to think fast. He couldn’t tell Jesse this because Luke wasn’t sure how he felt about him. Even after all the FaceTime calls and texts back and forth every day. It wasn’t fair to him. 

Time stood still in those few seconds. Jesse was staring at him still, looking more concerned than anything. No… Luke couldn’t tell him this now.

Finally, he said the first thing that came to mind. He muttered, “thank you.” His face felt like it was on fire. Jesse took his hands off Luke’s chin and put them back into his pockets. “You are a special person, you know that,” Jesse replied softly. He turned and started to unpack his clothes and toiletries. It was at that moment that he realized that he had forgotten his razor and looked annoyed. 

The rest of the evening was uneventful. They had dinner at a local brewery. Jesse, being over twenty one, sneaked Luke some beer. He was not a fan of its sour flavor. Luke’s parents never let him drink because his uncle was a big drunk that frequented casinos. 

As the evening drew to a close, they strolled back to the hotel and got ready for bed. They went to sleep quickly, tired from the journey. 

The next day Luke and Jesse visited different museums around the mall. The Air and Space Museum, Holocaust Museum, and Art Gallery all seemed amazing to Luke. They walked down to the Washington Monument and Jesse took another selfie and posted it. It got a few more likes that time. 

The day was still warmer than normal. Probably attributed to global warming or whatever people believe nowadays.

It was ultimately a lot more walking than Luke was used to. Although of average weight, as a musician Luke rarely had time to exercise. Jesse was more athletic, probably because of his work.

They sat down on a bench near the monument. Jesse had bought them cold Ruben sandwiches and some street corn covered in sesame seeds from a nearby stall. The street food here was amazing. 

 They were eating their sandwiches when Jesse sprung it on him; “I wanted to surprise you, but since we are leaving tomorrow afternoon, I got us a reservation at this restaurant in Georgetown.” Luke almost dropped his corn. This was not part of the plan. Pricey restaurants were off-limits in their pre-trip discussions due to the cost. 

Jesse had an adorable grin on his face, he looked like he really cared. Luke felt it again. The gut punch. Like the world has stopped in those few seconds. He wanted to reach out and grab Jesse’s hand, but it was covered in corn and sandwich goo. Probably best he didn’t. “I don’t know what to say other than thank you; I’m excited,” he replied quickly with a smile.

They went back to the hotel after lunch, and Luke collapsed on his bed to take a nap. The muscles in his legs were aching from all the walking. Jesse stayed up looking at his phone with a smile on his face, texting someone.

It was close to five when Jesse woke him up by sitting on the bed next to him. He handed him a glass of water. Luke sat up and drank slowly. He felt a bit better with his short nap; the aches had stopped. Jesse unexpectedly put his fingers through Luke’s hair. “You look adorable when you wake up,” he said. Luke blushed but didn’t say anything.

They got ready and went down to the Metro station to catch the train to Georgetown. It was different than Pittsburgh’s “T” because the Metro was so crowded. But it was a Friday night after all. They reached the station and ascended the stairs to the surface. 

Jesse was looking at his phone to see where they needed to go and they walked for what seemed like forever. Past several embassies and eclectic-looking buildings, they finally reached a cozy carriage house that looked out of place. For a moment Luke thought it even looked a little… romantic? 

“Stop it,” he muttered to himself.

 Luke couldn’t allow himself to think like that, he was going to ruin their friendship and all that trust that they built up. He heard the jingle of the door as Jesse held it open for him. They walked inside just as the pitter-patter of the rain began to fall and they both forgot an umbrella. 

The restaurant was indeed cozy, there were only about two dozen tables, each with a little candle and white tablecloths. The maître d' showed them to a table in the corner overlooking the street. The other tables didn’t have any other patrons yet, but it was still a bit early. They were handed their menus and as Luke was opening it, Jesse quickly said, “Don’t worry, it is on me”.

It became apparent why he said that; everything here was incredibly expensive. Luke must had looked stunned because Jesse shifted his legs under the table and nudged him with his knee to bring him back to reality. 

“Are you sure?”, Luke blurted out. “Of course”, Jesse replied with a sly smile.

Luke ultimately ordered the lamb chops, medium-rare. Jesse got a porterhouse, rare and they are sharing a side of charred brussel sprouts. More dining parties arrived and it got a little loud. As darkness fell, the lights dimmed until Luke could just make out Jesse’s green eyes in the candlelight.

 The rain was picking up outside, Jesse looked out as did Luke. “We are going to get soaked”, Jesse said softly. “Yeah, but it looks like warm rain,” Luke replied. “How could you know that, dork?” Jesse retorted as he nudged him with his knee again.

Luke really wanted to say he did not care if the rain was cold as they walked back; the fact that Jesse was with him would warm his heart no matter how chilly it was. But that sounded way too cheesy. He finally said “I dunno” and shrugged. 

“Why did you pick this place anyway,” Luke said as he changed the subject. Jesse shifted a bit in his seat, he seemed taken aback. “Well, because it looked cozy, and I wanted us to have a special meal,” he replied. Their knees were still touching under the table. Luke could feel his heart starting to skip a beat. His palms were getting sweaty. Why does he feel like this?

Their food arrived, steaming and delicious. It was one of the best meals Luke ever had. Lamb was one of his favorite things to eat and here it was soft, tender, and had just the right amount of spiciness. The brussel sprouts were so crunchy. Jesse’s steak looked equally as good. 

They ate in silence. Just as their meal ended, and Jesse called over the waiter to clear the table and give them the check, the rain stopped outside. Luke saw his reflection in the window and he was surprised to see a little smile on his face.

 Jesse paid the bill, left a bigger tip than he should have, and held the door open the door for Luke. They began to walk back toward the station. It was only seven-thirty, but it felt later. It was dark already. The late light of summer was gone, all but a memory at this point.

Jesse walked close to Luke as they continued down the street. For some reason, there weren’t many cars for a Friday night.

“Luke”, Jesse said as they slowed their pace.

 “Yes?”. 

“What did you think of dinner?”, he asked. 

"Well, it was really sweet and unexpected, thank you.”

He heard Jesse stop, Luke turned and saw him just standing there, his face red. He looked embarrassed. “Was it something I said?”, Luke asked. 

Approaching him, he put his hand on his arm, just as the sprinkle of rain started again. They were going to get soaked. 

“What is wrong Jesse?”

His head was down like Luke’s was yesterday. The rain began to come down hard, soaking through their clothes. It was freezing.  

Without thinking, Luke put his hand under Jesse’s chin and lifted it up the way Jesse did with him. Luke felt it again.

The gut punch.

The feeling that you are with someone that you really can’t be without.

He felt Jesse’s hand reach up and touch his. His shaggy hair beginning to become flat in all of the rain. His face was barely illuminated by the streetlight. Those vivid green eyes looking directly into his.

“I want to tell you that I really like you Luke… more than a friend”, he whispered. Luke just stood there. “I hope this does not change anything, I just couldn't hold this in anymore.” The rain continued to pummel down on them, but it was no longer freezing. 

"How long has he had these feelings?", Luke thought.

Without thinking, Luke pulled Jesse into an embrace. They were all alone in this moment. No one was around, the street was empty. Just them and the rain. 

“I feel the same”, he whispered into his ear.  

Jesse pulled his head back and they looked at each other. He leaned forward and in that instant their first kiss happened. With all of these emotions, Jesse’s lips were soft like butter. Luke wanted this moment to last forever.

“I’m sorry what did you say?” Luke was startled out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Jesse stopped looking at his phone as the train churned down the mountain. They would arrive in Pittsburgh in an hour or so. The events of the past weekend are still unreal to him. “What were you thinking about?” Jesse continued. 

“You, to be honest.” 

Jesse smiled, he got up and came over to his side and slid down next to him. “Oh yeah, so what did you say before?” He flashed a Cheshire Cat smile. It was adorable. 

“That we are running out of time,” Luke admitted.

 Jesse put his head on Luke’s shoulder. “For what, we have our whole lives ahead of us.” Their hands clasped together and Luke smiled.

Luke looked out the window as the train was whisking past the trees with their dying leaves. He saw a hint of green in some of them. Jesse was asleep on his shoulder already. Maybe they really weren’t running out of time.