I knew I loved you

The savage garden song, you knew I loved you, before I met you,  played not just in my head anymore but through the speaker of my husband's mobile phone.  I had asked him to put it on his song list.  It was how I felt about this little one who had been growing inside me.  Soon I would meet her.  I had to find out if our little peanut was boy or girl.  Not that I cared what sex of my child was.   I wanted to nest, do the nursery.

I have so many beautiful memories of shopping,  choosing items that my daughter would wear.  What she would sleep in.  Even down to the change table.  Sometimes at night I would go into the nursery and feel her romper suit next to my check. My husband caught me a few times,  he would smile and put the rattle next to his cheek.  “Nice,” he always said.

We would both crack up in a fit of laughter.  That is one of the things I loved most about him,  his ability to make me laugh.  I loved his goofy jokes,  even if I didn’t get them.  I hope our daughter has his sense of humour.  In fact I hope she has a lot of his characteristics. His kind and caring nature.  His intelligence, just to name a few.  Though I have to admit I would love for our daughter to have my love for the arts.  To be talented creatively.   I held a secret dream that she would become a prima ballerina.  However if she doesn’t I can still take her to the ballet.  I suppose if she was a tomboy she mightn’t want to go. I can accept that.  All I want for hers is to be happy, healthy of course and know she is loved.

So many possibilities.  She can become anything she wants.  I want the world to be her oyster and her it’s pearl.  I wanted so many wonderful things for my daughter.  Though right now I wish she would come out of me.

I heard labour was bad,  this is not bad.  It’s more like hell.  The contractions, my head spins at how nightmarish they felt.   My husband held my hand even after I squeezed his hand so hard it turned red.  He would say reassuring words to me.  “Sweetheart you are doing great.”

Though after the tenth time of hearing this I got annoyed.  Actually I got mad.  I wanted to punch him but I didn’t seem to have the energy to do that.   Instead I grabbed his hand and squeezed it so hard I thought he would pass out.  He was quite the trooper,  through the pain on his face he said.  “I love you so much.”

I did feel bad for what I had done and started to cry. “I’m sorry” I uttered

Then he said something so beautiful my tears turned to that of pure joy.  Looking deep into my eyes.  He said “Sweetheart, no need to be sorry.  I love you so much my heart aches over the pain you are feeling.  If it were possible I would do this for you.”

Tears ran down my hot red cheeks and he would dab them away.  His gentle touch made my heart soar.  I screamed once more.  “Get this baby out of me NOW”

The midwife walked over once more.  Looked in an area that was no longer private.  “Soon,” she said.  

She had said this to me a number of times.  Before walking over to the area she would clean my baby.  I felt like a child on Christmas Day who had to wait to unwrap their presents.

“How soon?”  my husband asked as if reading my mind.

“Babies come when they are ready.” Just a little more patience”.  the midwife told him, in a soft smooth tone.  “ I am over here for a few minutes, I want to make sure when this little one enters the world I am ready.”

I look at my husband and he smiles back at me.  It was his smile that caught my eye the day we met.  I think back to that day.  I was in the park reading a book that I can’t remember the name of.  When this big shagged dog came up to me.  His tail was wagging and it appeared all he wanted to do was say hello.  “I’m sorry,” I hear a voice say.  “ I dropped his lead.  He won’t hurt you.”

I looked up and there was the man who would go on to become my husband.  He had the most dazzling smile,  his dark brown eyes seem to sparkle.  The dog started lick me.  “Henry likes you,” he told me as he quickly grabbed the lead.

“I like Henry too”. I said through the smile on my face.

Henry licked me again and I laughed.  “I think Henry is in love,”

“I’m quickly falling for Henry,”

“Does Henry’s new love have a name?”

“Juliet, my name is Juliet.  Does Henry’s daddy have a name.”

“I sure do.  It’s Mata,  I prefer to be called Matt.  My parents gave me that name because it is the Gallic form of Matthew”

“I like it,”. I told him while thinking I like you.

We chatted for a while and played with Henry.    As he was about to leave he asked “If I would go on a date with him.”

I had quickly answered with a resounding “Yes”

So for the next six months we dated before I moved in with him and Henry.  After two years,  he took me out for dinner at this fancy restaurant and just after dessert he got down on one knee.  And asked “ would I be his wife?

Now we are here seven years later after we first met.    Henry is still with us and had become so protective of me since I became pregnant.   I like to believe Henry would be the same with the baby.  

My thoughts were now so filled with the pain,  you could have asked me my name and I was sure I wouldn’t know.  “Juliet, the midwife said.  “The little one is coming.  It’s time to push”

With a deep breath in; I pushed,  “Good Juliet,  you need to do this again.”  The midwife told me.

Again I pushed, then again.  I was feeling exhausted. I didn’t think I could go on.  “Okay are we ready to do another.”

“No.” I cried.  

However I pushed.  My husband held my hand and there were tears in his eyes.  “I can see the head.” the midwife announced

My heart sang, she was almost here.  I pushed until I saw her.  “Chloe,” I cried.

My husband kissed me.  “Look Juliet, look at what we made.  So perfect.”

I heard Chloe's screams and smiled.  She was here.  Our beautiful daughter had entered the world and my heart was filled with such love no words could describe.