The obsession with Martin Sloan

"You knew from the very beginning that your actions would lead to such dreadful outcomes, yet you still chose to disrespect it and did what you did! How can you be so selfish?" My mum yells at me as she stands at the other side of the breakfast bar. She folds her arms and waits for an explanation.

4 weeks earlier... 

Martin Sloan. What can I say about Martin Sloan? Other than that he is super fit and all the girls at school have a crush on him, even though he is in his early forties. Just thenCharlotte and Nikki join me by the gate. 

"Oh my God that man gets even more beautiful every day." Nikki said as Charlotte and I nod in agreement. We stare as he gets into his flashy silver Range Rover, enjoying the delicious smell of his aftershave that still slightly lingers in the air.

My phone pings suddenly and Nikki is giggling as she looks at me and Charlotte. "M.S appreciation group chat, so we can talk about all things Sloan". The three of us smile, link arms and walk to class. 

To say the school day was long would be an understatement. Charlotte and Nikki both had after-school athletics so I ended up walking home alone. I was crossing the school car park when I heard shouting coming from behind me. I turned to see what was going on and saw Molly Sloan being shouted at by a group of girls. 

"Hey, leave her alone" I shout, as I approach the group, making a mental note of who they were. 

"Don't hide behind a senior next time Sloan". One of them said before spitting in Molly's face. The other girls laughed as they left the car park. Molly wiped the spit off her face and looked at me with tear-filled eyes. 

"Thank you" She said, trying her best not to cry when she noticed they had broken the strap on her school bag. 

"It's OK. I know who they are anyway so I can give you their names-" I was interrupted by the silver Range Rover pulling up next to us and Martin Sloan getting out. He took one look at his daughter and anger flashed across his face. 

"Molly, love, what happened?" He asked, glancing at me curiously. 

"Some girls were being mean to me, they broke my school bag and spat in my face" Molly replied, letting the tears flow down her face. 

"Oh love. Do you want me to go and speak to the head?" He asked. 

“I just want to go home.” Molly replied, picking up her bag from the ground and approaching the Range Rover sadly. 

“Molly?” I said as she opened the back door of the SUV. “Add me on social media and I'll send you my number, just in case you do want their names, yeah?” She nods and thanks me before closing the door.

“Jessica, can we offer you a lift home?” Martin Sloan said as he opened the driver's door. 

“That would be great. Thanks.” I reply, walking around to the passenger side of the vehicle and climbing inside. The smell of his aftershave envelopes me as soon as I close the door and I feel both embarrassed and anxious. 

I pull my phone out of my pocket and click on the group chat. 

Me: You'll never guess where I am right now? 

Charlotte: ??

Nikki: not athletics that's for sure! 

Me: I might be in a silver Range Rover

Charlotte: OMG seriously? HOW?!

Nikki: you lie! Sneaky pic or it didn't happen! 

Me: Seriously! He’s giving me a lift. 

Charlotte: JEALOUS!! 

Nikki: pic, pic, pic, pic lol 

How was I going to get a sneaky picture without him or Molly knowing I was taking a picture and sending it to someone. Then I had a plan. 

“Hey, Mr Sloan? Can I- erm- please take a picture of you driving and send it to my mum? She's a bit OTT when it comes to me getting into cars etc.” I say, feeling really embarrassed and hoping the redness on my face wasn't showing too much. 

He glanced over at me and my heart stopped. He was so handsome.

“Yes. Of course.” He said. “You might think it is stupid of your mum to ask but she just worries.” I felt a sudden pang of guilt, I had lied to him about why I wanted the picture and here he was telling me that my lie was just my mum being concerned about me. But I needed the proof otherwise the girls would never believe me. I held my phone up and took two pictures of him driving, one even captured his slight smile. 

Me: sent a picture 

Charlotte: Wow! OK now I'm jealous.

Nikki: You lucky biatch! 

I was so engrossed in the group chat that I had forgotten all about Molly sitting behind me. 

“Dad? Can you drop me off at mums Salon please? I need to get cleaned up and go to the toilet.” She said, sniffing and still sounding upset. Martin looked at her in the rear-view mirror and smiled. 

“Course sweetheart. Message mum now and tell her I'll drop you off in five.” He then turned to look at me briefly. “I'll drop Molly off then take you home, unless you want to go with Molly?” He asked. I didn't want to get out of the car so I quickly made up another lie. 

“I need to get home for Adam coming home” I lied, I didn't need to be home for the golden child coming home, my mum had taken a week off work to help look after my Auntie Mel after her knee surgery, my dad would still be at work and Adam was in after-school revision club. 

“No problem.” He replied, giving me another friendly smile. A few seconds later we pulled up outside a salon I knew very well. Elegance. 

Molly unbuckled her seat belt and moved forward in her seat. “Thanks for helping me Jess.” She said, giving me a sad smile. I nodded as she got her phone from her bag and opened the door. “See you tomorrow” I replied as she closed the door and entered the salon. 

“I had no idea Mollys mum owned Elegance. I go there all the time.” I said, trying to make conversation as we began the journey towards my house. 

“Thank you by the way. For helping Molly. She's not handling school very well at the moment.”  He explained, looking a little concerned. 

“No problem. I just hope Molly decides to report it.” I replied, noticing that I had a friend request from Molly on my socials. 

“I'll have a word with her tonight about it and ask her to message you.”

He ran a stressed hand through his hair, making it stand up at different angles. I didn't think it was possible for him to be anymore attractive but the messy hair certainly did something. 

I tried hiding my disappointment at the slip of conversation when I noticed we had already pulled into the cul-de-sac where I lived. 

“Sorry. I should have asked if you still lived here rather than assuming.” I knew he had dropped Adam off a couple of times when football practice had finished early or if there had been a mid-week game so it never occurred to me to tell him my address. 

“Yes I still live here.” I replied, gathering my bag and phone. 

“Thanks for the lift” I said a few moments later as I opened the door of the Range Rover and hopped out onto the pavement.

“Anytime.” He said, flashing a wide, perfect smile at me. I closed the door and heard him drive off as I approached the front door of my house.

That was the beginning of this whole nightmare. I don't even know why I felt the need to make Charlotte and Nikki jealous, I guess I just didn't think at all and got so caught up in the attention from the girls and the obsession I had developed for Martin. 

It had been a week since I had got a lift home from the gorgeous Mr Sloan. Charlotte and Nikki messaged me every night to ask if I had seen him again as I had taken to walking home alone on the off chance he would drive past and offer me another lift. I didn't want them to know that so I lied and said I was meeting him in town. I knew they'd not come with me, town was the opposite direction to where they lived and they both had extracurricular activities most nights. So far they thought that me and Martin were starting an affair and that we had only kissed once. I was getting annoyed at them badgering me about more details and to shut them up I lied. 

Me:OK, OK. I'll tell you what else we've done.

But you have to keep it a secret. 

Nikki: Obvs! 

Charlotte: swear… Now can we have the deets? 

Me: So we were kissing in his RRover he pulled me onto his lap… 

Nikki: and… 

Me: 4play 

Nikki: OMG 😲

Charlotte: Jess! 

Me: remember, not a word!

Nikki: when you seeing him next?!

Charlotte: please be careful Jess. 

Me: tomorrow. I know what I'm doing. 

But that was just it. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't want to lie anymore but at the same time I didn't want to stop the attention and I craved the buzz I got from obsessively talking about my fantasy life. Talking about him was like a drug and I was a total addict. 

2 weeks later, I bought a bottle of the aftershave he wore. I knew I was going too far as soon as I got home and opened the box containing the bottle, but as soon as I smelt it I was transported back to my obsession. The girls were upping their interest too and I had no choice but to move things along a bit. I decided to up the ante.

Nikki: you coming tonight? 

Charlotte: yep already got my clothes sorted 

Nikki: Jess? 

Me: Can't I have plans sorry

Nikki: RRover plans?

Charlotte: Jess I don't know about this

Me: I know what I'm doing… We both do!

Nikki: Deets in the morning please! 

Me: obvs! Have a good night

Charlotte: we will… Please be careful

Nikki: Char will you stop spoiling it for the poor lass! 

Charlotte: I know! Just want her to stay safe, that's all! 

Me: Char I love you for that but I know what I'm doing. 

Promise I'll be safe.

Charlotte: OK, message when you get home. 

Nikki: you mean IF she gets home lol

I kept an eye on Nikki’s socials and turned off the online status indicator which showed I was active. I needed them to believe that I was out with Martin and not holed up in my bedroom. It was Friday night and I had the house to myself. Dad and Adam had gone away on a football weekend and mum wouldn't be back until Sunday. Of course I could always go and stay with her and Auntie Mel but I preferred my own space and being surrounded by my own things. 

I was scrolling through my news feed when I got a text message from Charlotte. 

I know you said you know what you're doing but Jess he is 40+ you're 16. I'm worried. Please be safe. 

I don't know why I was so annoyed with Charlotte, she was only looking out for me but my obsession had taken over any rationalisation I had and I only saw it as Charlotte trying to stop me from being happy. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. How dare she? I opened the group chat. 

Me: how was movie night? 

Nikki: sod movie night how was your night? you still with him? 

Me: yep . We have my house to ourselves.

Nikki: OMG 

Me: OMG is an understatement! 

I wish I had paid more attention to what was going on in the group chat. If I had then I may have seen that Molly had been added to it at some point and that she could see all of our messages going back to day one. But I was so wrapped up in my fantasy that I didn't know what was real anymore. I fell asleep that night to thoughts of Martin walking into my bedroom, all wet from just coming out of the shower. 

I had put my phone on silent last night as a precaution in case they tried phoning me, then I had gone to sleep. The first thing I noticed when I checked my phone was that I had a number of messages from my mum asking me to call her. I feared something had happened to Auntie Mel so I called her immediately. 

“Jessica. What the hell is going on?” Mum sounded angrier than I had ever heard her before.

“Mum I have no idea what you're on about, I've just woken up.” I said, wondering what had happened during the 9 hours when I had been sleeping. 

“Woke up alone I hope.” She snapped. She didn't give me time to respond before she flew into one of her classic rants. “Do you have any idea how stupid you are? I mean I still hold on to the hope that all of this is a mistake, but I need to know what you were thinking? Wait until your dad finds out, he will be murderous!” I had to get her to calm down and tell me what was happening. 

“Mum? Please calm down. I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. Of course I woke up alone, no one else is here! Dad and Adam are at the football, you're away-” She stopped me mid conversation.

“Convenient for you then isn't it? I'm coming home to sort this shit out. Auntie Mel is a lot better and Dave is home tonight .”  She hung up and left me staring at the phone. My screen lit up with a message on the group chat. 

Molly: Where's my dad? 

Me: Molly what's happened? 

Molly: Don't give me that crap! 

I've seen ALL the messages in this group chat! 

I thought you were my friend. 

Nikki: grow up Molly! 

Charlotte: I knew something like this would happen! 

Jess just tell Molly if Martin is still with you or not. 

Me: No he isn't… 

Charlotte: Jess do you know where he was going when he left yours? 

Me: No I have no idea

Molly: Jess please, this is tearing my family apart. 

I managed to convince my mum that the messages posted on socials were posted by the girls who were bullying Molly and that me, Charlotte and Nikki had nothing to do with it. I had a message off Charlotte saying Molly told her that Martin had spoken to the police and no further action was being taken. I sighed with relief and started to think this nightmare was coming to an end.

“Jessica? Jess?” My mum shouted up the stairs, waking me up instantly. Couldn't she leave me alone? I was just about to pull the covers over my head when my bedroom door burst open. 

“You need to get up NOW and go downstairs to talk to mum.” Adam said as he pulled the covers off me and stood glaring at me. 

“What's your problem?” I asked as Adam stormed out of my room, slamming his bedroom door behind him. 

I decided that avoiding my mum wasn't going to work so I took a deep breath and went downstairs. 

“Sit” mum said, pointing to one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar. I did as I was told, waiting for some kind of sarcastic comment from her but she just stood there, glaring at me with her arms crossed.

“You lied to me Jessica. In fact, your lies have ripped apart a family this morning. I hope you're happy with yourself?” I still didn't fully understand what was going on and I wanted to tell her that but my common sense kicked in and told me not to annoy her anymore than she already was. 

“ Adam has lost his best friend because of your lies. Poor Benji has just been given the all clear for his cancer diagnosis and now he has to bury his father and it's all because of you.” I heard what she said but it didn't sink in. Martin Sloan was dead? He couldn't be. 

“Martin's dead?” I ask, in a voice that doesn't even sound like my own. 

“Oh welcome back to the real world! Yes Martin is dead, he was found this morning at his garage. He had hanged himself from the metal cross-beams. Helen kicked him out after the incident at the salon, he lost his job at the court due to allegations of child sex offences, and he got beaten up on his way to the garage by a gang of blokes. His car was also found in the garage car park and had been set on fire-”  

“It wasn't my fault. I swear. It wasn't.” I feel hot tears rolling down my face. 

"Are you serious?" She shook her head and folded her arms. "Casey, a man is dead. A wife has lost her husband, two children have lost their father! And it's all down to you and your friends lying". She picks her phone up and I instantly fear what is coming. "I'm calling your father then we're going to the police station. You're going to tell them what caused a loving family man to hang himself in his garage." She shakes her head again and sighs "Christ Casey”.