That life-changing Goodbye at the Airport

Awkwardly lifting his duffel bag with essential items, he gave me a half-hug saying, "It’s just a three-week business trip Jess, and it’s not the first time I’m going to Ireland, right? I’ll be back in a jiffy, okay?'' Tears rolling down my cheeks, I gave him the slightest nod in history. How’d I live alone for two long weeks?

“Can’t you do this some other time? Since the day we lost the baby, I’ve struggled badly with being alone Mark, and you know that.”

Did I mention I had an ugly miscarriage less than a month ago? No?

''You know how it is; Boss never lets me take a leave and this meeting with Samantha and Company is sorta important. 'If only I could’ve cancelled this, I’d have stayed babe. Look, I hate sad goodbyes. C’mon, gimme that pretty smile." He said those lines with those shiny blue eyes he had, all the more glistening due to the sun.

Giving him that half-hearted smile, I helped him with the bags to the departure gate. It was the first, okay second; might even be third time in our seven months of marriage that we’d be spending so much time away from each other. It was an intimate wedding; not more than forty people had been a part of the small affair we had planned. But he had. No, of course my husband too. But he, the man I’d always been in love with. He was right there, sitting solitarily under a tree in the corner while I was busy taking my vows with Mark.

The entrance screen displayed the time of half a dozen hours before the flight would take off from SoCal for Ireland. It was nine in the morning and the sun shined straight into my beady eyes. I saw Mark walk up to the metal detecting gate and waved to him from across the pavement. After bidding adieu, I trudged back to my black Honda City. As I entered my right leg in, it released the smell of carcinogens. I really should've left the windows open. Instead of driving amidst the fumes, I chose to stand and wait by the cafeteria until it was gone. Just when I was thinking of getting into the car, my phone began buzzing. Three words 'Jenna is calling' flashed on my iPhone, leaving me dumbfounded. At that very moment, the only question my mind could come up with was: 'Why’d he want to ring after all these months of separation?'

As soon as I swiped the phone screen, the husky, manly voice I hadn’t heard in a million years; okay eight months, hit me like cold breeze on a hot summery day.

 ‘‘Hello, miss. How you doin’?’’

‘‘Why’ve you called?’’

‘‘Is that how you say hello Jessica? Where are your manners?’’

I could hear that triumphant smirk he used to give in his voice.

“Where are you right now?’’

I’ve no clue why I’d ask a question like that, but I did.

“Just a score of miles from your abode. Why? Want me to come like before? C’mon Jess, maybe for old time’s sake?’’ he said with excitement crystal clear in his voice.

“Haha, puhleaseee. You wish! Okay talk to you later, I really have to rush somewhere.”

Without waiting for a reply, I hung up. Jess got work to do. I drove back to my house on the 10th Street at a speed of thirty-eight mph. On reaching home, I searched the 3 BHK apartment we lived in, for some kind of a diary slash spiral pad. I remembered Mark writing his important contacts in a diary slash spiral pad, just couldn’t quite put my finger to which one. That meant I’d look for it in the whole goddamn house, in every possible notebook. After hunting for the numbers in almost each notepad we owned, I found a blackish one and it clicked. This was the one. I opened it and turned the pages and only stopped when I found the numbers of his two closest people: John, his boss and Seth, an old friend. Seth and I’d met thrice, so we were somewhat close. Hastily, I took my phone out of my denim jeans pocket and thumped out a short text message:

Hello Seth, Jessica this side. Hope all iz well with you. Pls call me whenever you’re free. It’s about Mark. There’s something I wanna know. Nothing grave or anything, just need ur help. :) 

I did the dishes, other household chores and was about to finish the laundry when I got the long awaited call.

“Hey Jessica. Long time, no see! How have you been?’’ Came from the other side.

Drying my hands using a towel, I managed a “Hello Seth, I’m good. What about you?”

“I’m great too. Tell me how I can help!’’

“Um the thing is that nowadays, I feel like Mark and I got married shortly after meeting and that's why I know nothing about him; his friends, his work, what his life was like before me. I'd love to know his loved ones, whom he works with and his college friends, you know. I mean, you guys have been together since school right, so can you share some interesting information and stuff?”

‘Hmm. I see what’s bothering you. Well, there hasn’t been much to Mark ever, owing to his simple and goody-two-shoes behaviour but mind you, he has dated some really popular girls in college.”

“Ha-ha that was expected. If you're okay with it, will you tell me some details? And yeah, please don’t let him know we talked about this okay? Not that Mark will mind either, but just like that.”

“Of course not Jessica, you can trust me with this. I’m everyone’s secret keeper, so I won’t mind being yours too. But honestly, I’m not the best person to approach as I wasn’t much involved back during the grad days. But right after college, Mark and John met and became considerable companions. So he might know much more than I can help you with.”

“Oh, okay Seth. Thank you, bye!” I hung up with that because it didn’t seem to go anywhere.

Then out of nowhere, a weird thought struck my mind. As much as I didn’t want to think of it, there was no harm in pondering. Hurriedly glancing at the clock hanging loosely on the dijon wall, I realised it had been five hours since I’d left the airport boundaries. Without thinking twice, I dialled the number again. He picked after three rings.

“Yes, Jessica. Anything else that you forgot?”

“I’m sorry but just one last thing, have you heard of some girl called Samantha? Nothing serious but she's good friends with Mark and I think we'd get along well if we met!"

“Actually I remember! She was that gorgeous lass Mark dated in college but then the two of them exchanged goodbyes since Samantha was moving to Ireland. I hope he and you've talked about it?”

Ireland and goodbyes...Okay.

“Of course he told, we all were kids back in college. Thanks for your time Seth. That helped much, now I know Mark dated some hot girls in his youth years, haha. Okay bye now!”

“You’re most welcome, Jessica. Indeed, he did! Bye.”

Why didn’t Mark ever mention dating so-called ‘gorgeous’ girl, whatever her name was; Samantha?

All of a sudden, I remembered the absurd medications I hadn't taken for a while then. Honestly, I felt better on the days I didn’t gulp down those pink tablets that Mark had begun giving to me during my pregnancy days. These pills were basically painkillers but now there was no physical pain, just the emotional one that they couldn't heal. Mark got them a few months after I told him I'd been pregnant. Since then I’d been taking them without fail, with a cheat day here and there. 

A week had passed. He quite obviously didn't have much time for me. 'Jenna' would call me more often than Mark did and he was the solace I got in those times of distress. 

This man I loved, and I’d met in college. Not to brag or anything but I was one of those rich, hot girls who all the girls wanted to befriend and the boys wanted to date. But this guy I noticed in class, he was different. He never took interest in girls but took grades seriously and that's what attracted me to him so much. Soon we started dating and we weren't your regular cheesy college lovebirds. He taught me to focus on studies and most of our dates looked like meetings at the library, but that in fact made me mad about him. He cared for me like no one ever had, and made sure I never fell weak to any situation. I can never forget the way he made me feel, the way my heart skipped a beat every time he came close. Our story was short-lived thanks to my strict (arrogant) parents. All was well until the day I told them I wished to marry a guy, and the first question certainly had to be his family status in society. He hailed from a humble background with an average car at home. Me, I came from a family where cars were casually gifted on birthdays. So you can prolly imagine. My dad was kind of okay with our relationship but my mom was too much. She overreacted and asked me to choose between her and 'a poor wretch.' *Not my words* 

Along with our graduation certificates came our separation and we eventually lost contact. A few months later, I met Mark. Like me, he’d also just done his graduation and was looking for a job in the corporate industry while side by side, was in search of love. *Spoiler alert: He found both and in a month we got married. I was still busy applying for jobs on Indeed and what not. Oof.*

I video called Mark when it had been two weeks since he’d left for Seoul. Apparently, he was driving then which I could tell already with the ceaseless honking from behind. Parking the car to one side of what I could see as an isolated but familiar street, he said in an irritated tone, "What is it Sam...uh Jessica? I'm busy right now, is it something urgent or can we do this later?"

Hah. As if there was anything left to be discussed. That very second I blocked his contact. But this whole astounding call put me in a dilemma for two reasons and I’d to solve it out.

First, I’d to know more about this Samantha girl. Mark didn't look like those cheating ones, but again, you shouldn't be judging a book by its cover. It was possible Mark knew she was in Ireland. It was possible all these ‘work trips’ were actually trips to meet gorgeous Samantha. It was possible (hate to say it) Mark had been cheating on me. I called him, I called ‘Jenna’.

“Yes miss, how may I help you today?” Ah. That voice.

“This is crucial. Do you know anything about this girl named Samantha? Someone from Mark’s college days? Most probably someone he liked a lot, and might want to meet now?” It felt odd asking questions like the ones I was throwing, but there wasn’t another option.

“Ahem, are you telling me the world’s most perfect husband is a cheating spouse now?”

“Jokes apart, tell me. I need to know the truth.”

“Surprisingly, I do. If I remember correctly, Mark said something about her being a classmate he dated for about two years but they broke up and she shifted somewhere abroad. But where does she come into the picture after all this time?"

"Leave that to me, but do you know where she lives now? Or can you get that info from someone, please?"

"Hang on, just a moment. I can use my skills to find out her location if you want me to do that and from what I can gather, you'd die for it. I'll text you in a while. Kay?"

"That's fine with me, and you still know me well. Bye."

Waiting on the padded couch for what felt like decades, I finally got the reply I’d clearly been dying to see. I fumbled with the phone, all because of the excited state my mind was in.

Here it is, Samantha hasn't moved from Southern California in the past six months at least.

My suspicion had turned out right. It wasn't Samantha. 

A week later (at the airport) 

"Hey Jess, how've you been?"

"I need to talk to you. Will you come aside please?"

He evidently knew what it was going to be. We pulled the luggage and took our seats on a wooden bench under the same tree.

“Mark, let’s cut the crap and get to the point. Tell me everything, tell me what’s going on, or I’m afraid I’ll have to file a divorce.” I knew this would work as I saw him shift in his seat.

“Even though it was inevitable, I was trying to avoid this for a while. Perhaps now is about time you make a clean breast of it”. His Caucasian face turned red of the anger building up within. He continued, “But first, tell me what’s your concern” 

“Mark, I know you’ve been cheating on me with Samantha, you cannot hide it anymore. These work trips were planned to go meet her in Ireland, right? Seth told me about her; you underestimated me Mark, every single secret of yours is out for me to see. Seth informed me that your girlfriend Samantha left after college, and you conceivably still mustn't be over her, I assume. Was that the sole reason for cheating or is there anything else as well? Tell me Mark, I wanna know where it went wrong, our nearly-perfect relationship went wrong?” It all came out of me in one go. For a second, I’d forgotten we were in a public place with people around. Didn’t think that over. Just Straight Blurting Out.

“Jessica, you’ve lost the right to question my character when you were the one cheating. What? Shocked to hear that I know about your wrongdoings? Well, you too underestimated me and guess what? I know who it is and I also know about the real, disgusting Jessica inside you. Don’t even think, not even for a split second, that you’ve gotten away with all that you did. I’m accustomed to the fact that the baby wasn’t mine either, and if it wasn’t mine, it had no hell of a right to enter the world!” I couldn’t help but glare right into his bright blue eyes where I was unable to find the beauty anymore. How? How could I think of marrying this sickening man? “You killed the baby?” Except for the nauseous feeling, I’d gone numb. 

He immediately rued his words, which was comprehensible from the look of his face.

“Jessica, I repent it and I’m aware there is nothing I can do to make it better. I didn’t m...”

“It’s ineffable; how much I’m DONE with you. But why and how Mark?” 

“That remains the biggest regret in my life, but my mind wasn’t working when I read your chat with him and I’d totally lost it. ‘Jenna’ had turned out a guy you dated in college, inducing major jealousy in me. I read the SMS where you informed him of pregnancy and that you were afraid he might be the dad of the child. I detest myself for what I did, but I gave you painkillers regularly despite the doctor saying they could turn out highly dangerous during a pregnancy. For obvious reasons, I couldn’t care less about a baby of my wife and her boyfriend. If you’ll recall the day you had the miscarriage, I met the doc to investigate about the cause which emerged as the ibuprofen. I’ll never forgive myself and don’t expect you to, either.”

Shit. Those medications.

Trying hard to prevent that lump in my throat from exploding, I said, “If you hated me that much, why didn’t you cheat?” After expressions depicting rage, sadness, regret; I finally saw what I wanted; the feeling of vanquishment. “You asked Seth yourself to say all that to me, didn't you?”

Uncomfortably, he asked, “On seeing your out-of-the-blue text, he contacted me and I explained to him thoroughly, what he was supposed to say. I made it so obvious I was cheating, then how?”

I felt like I’d puke all the lasagne I’d eaten for breakfast right there, but my little victory kept it in. “Remember when I video called you that afternoon? Observation told me you were seated on the right side in the car whereas in Ireland, the driver’s seat is to the left. I was skeptical, but then he, you know who, told me Samantha hasn’t left California since long. You didn't actually cheat, just wanted to take revenge and make me realise how it feels to be cheated on. You never really left California. Why?”

“Because I love you, Jess.” He said looking down.

“Lemme tell you something you don’t know Mark. Perplexed as to whose the baby was, we went to my gynac who revealed it wasn’t John’s child.”

The guilt in his eyes proved that his world had come tumbling down.

[Mark’s boss a.k.a John a.k.a 'Jenna'. Right after our wedding, A wave of nostalgia hit me when Mark introduced John to me, as his boss and we were to pretend like we weren't college lovers. Get why I grew suspicious of Mark in the first place?]

Just then, the light at the end of my tunnel popped up as an email offering a job in a major finance company, hinting a new beginning.

Strange was that it all started and ended with a goodbye at the airport.