Stargazing for the Colour of Love

David was a man with low self-confidence. He found uncertainty and insecurity difficult to deal with and therefore tried to avoid them in every way he could. He rarely dared to try anything that he didn't know would turn out well.

David was also very much in love with Hanna and wanted to live with her as husband and wife. He believed she was fond of him too, but he wasn't sure.

Nevertheless, he wanted to take the step of proposing to her.

But there was a risk that he would be rejected. What if that ruined the warm relationship they had — the one that was, at least, almost a romantic relationship? It was warm and close, but David lacked the self-confidence to believe that a romantic relationship was truly possible for him.

So David wanted guidance. He wanted a sign that would show him if Hanna had those kinds of feelings for him, so that he would dare to propose to her.

David had no connection to the stars. He had never seen the starry sky because he was born and raised in a big city. There was only one star he had ever seen — the sun — but it had never occurred to him that it was a star among all the others, just so much closer to us than the rest.

But he had heard of astrologers and horoscopes — the zodiac. A collection of twelve star signs (he had no concept of constellations) that were all said to reveal something about each person based on when they were born.

He found a horoscope on a website. Full of enthusiasm, he scrolled through the star signs that applied to Hanna and himself. Perhaps the zodiac could tell him something.

David was born on the last day of August, which made him a Virgo according to the horoscope. One crucial characteristic of Virgos, David read, was that they did not dare to take risks. David concluded that this was probably true. It fit him very well when he thought about it. He was not an adventurer; he preferred a calm and predictable life. When he studied the horoscope further, he also learned that he probably had a great need to feel loved and needed — otherwise he could become frustrated and other things that didn't look so good — in a bad mood, you might say. That was undoubtedly true, David agreed. And he could certainly be quite analytical and a bit of a methodical technician too...

But what about Hanna? What it said about her was even more critical. According to the zodiac, she was a Scorpio. That meant she was loyal but had a strong need for change. That didn't sound so good, because when David thought about it a little more, it could mean that she had a particular penchant for adventure.

She also has many depths, according to her horoscope. Is that a good thing? David wondered. Maybe she's impossible to understand...?

In the web horoscope, David could also find a match function that would show whether they, as a Virgo and a Scorpio, would be suitable for each other. David felt a tingling excitement. It would provide guidance. It could determine whether it was even worth proposing to her.

David scrolled to the horoscope's matchmaking feature and read eagerly: Virgos and Scorpios are often attracted to each other and can succeed in creating a good life together. But the opposite also exists: even if they continue to live together, they do not satisfy each other in a good way.

David frowned. It depends, then.

He also learned that, as a Virgo, he would perceive Hanna Scorpio's direct manner as disrespectful.

It sounded uncertain, almost dangerous. David felt discouraged.

But then he started to think: How much could he trust what was written in the horoscope? He liked Hanna so much. And she seemed to like him too, didn't she?

There had to be some more precise answers somewhere. Other horoscopes may have said something different. But then David realised that if he managed to find other horoscopes that said something different, how would he know which one to believe?

David shook his head in despair.

Now, it should also be noted that David was not particularly religious. Sure, he might have occasionally sent a thought up to some supernatural power, but he would not have called himself a believer. Perhaps not an atheist either, for that matter...

But that evening, David clasped his hands together as he lay in bed and pondered: »God, give me a sign... show me what is true. Does Hanna love me in that way? Can I propose to her, ask her to be my wife, my life partner? Give me courage and certainty, God.«

Then he lay there staring at the ceiling for a long time. Maybe I will be dreaming, he thought. »Yes, come to me in a dream, God, as you have often done with the people in the Bible, with the prophets. Let me know, God. Say something. Then I will believe in you ...«

The next morning, David woke up with a start. In his dream, he thought he had heard a voice. It was almost scary; it was so clear. What had it said? ‘Let it grow from within, trust...’

David was breathing heavily. Sure, he had asked for a sign in a dream. But deep down, he didn't believe it would happen. He didn't believe in God. It wasn't God, he thought, no, it was his mind, of course. He had asked for it; after all... You often dream about things that occupy your thoughts. That must have been it.

David got up. The day awaited him. He probably wouldn't get an answer today either unless something unexpected happened.

The day went by as usual. Nothing unexpected. No answers.

Late in the evening, a couple of hours after dark, he was on his way home. As he turned the corner onto his street, it suddenly went dark. Pitch black. Total darkness. A power outage had hit the city.

At first, David was seized by fear at the thought that he had suddenly lost his sight, but then something in the corner of his eye made him look up. With his mouth agape, he stood staring straight up at the sky, amazed and entranced by something he had never seen before.

Thousands, millions of shining dots sparkled like a giant firework display against a pitch-black sky. It was as if someone had poked small holes in a black sackcloth that had been pulled over the earth. The dots of light flickered in the warm summer night air. Across the entire dome was a diffuse white band with darker sections, a kind of milky white road across it all. David stared. It was as if someone wanted to pull him up there. Suddenly, he felt surrounded by the starry sky, as if he were floating freely in the universe. He stretched out his arms straight out and slowly turned three hundred and sixty degrees — one complete circle, while taking in the ocean of stars. He saw figures in the dots, as if the stars were creating images for him.

I could never have imagined you were so beautiful, he thought.

That was all he had time to think before the city lights exploded in his eyes. The show was over.

As he continued walking home, thoughts came to him. »This is the answer,« he said to himself. The stars — the zodiac. He smiled when he realised that he had just seen the original. Let the stars tell the story, he thought. He could feel it so clearly just now. The stars wanted to say something to him.

But here in the city, that's not possible, David realised. All the artificial light obscures them. David shook his head when he realised how much beauty he had missed out on because he had lived his whole life in artificial light, because he had never experienced true darkness. He had never before seen the purest, clearest starry sky.

Now he knew what he had to do: Go away.

Through an advertisement in a newspaper, he learned about a small cottage village on an island far out at sea, where no light pollution could reach. David booked a week right away. There, on warm summer nights, he would go out to the beach every night, sit back in his deck chair and let the starry sky tell him stories.

David was looking forward to a week alone with the stars. There, he would open his heart and listen to their message.

But on the very first night, as he sat there, he had some unexpected company.

»Isn't it beautiful?« said a weak and slightly raspy voice that sounded like it came from an old woman.

David turned towards the voice, a little annoyed at this unwanted company that threatened to disturb the voices of the stars. »Sure. Very beautiful,« he replied dryly.

»Not surprising really,« continued the lady, who did seem very old, »not surprising that we humans have always seen stories in them.«

»Stories?« said David, feeling a strange sensation in his body. »What do you mean?«

»Yes, myths. Stories. Mysticism.«

David nodded. »You mean the zodiac, horoscopes.«

The lady giggled discreetly, but then she continued: »Well, that too, of course, but I'm thinking of the ancient Greeks and their myths about how the constellations came to be... and what lies behind them, what they mean. Yes, for the most part, they were associated with their ancient gods.«

»Oh, I see.«

»You've probably noticed that many of the stars here form figures — constellations.«

David nodded uncertainly.

»Over there, for example,« said the lady, pointing low towards the western horizon, »there you have a constellation that in ancient times was given the name Virgo.«

David looked and soon saw a cluster of stars that stood out from their surroundings. His heart skipped a beat. He glanced at the lady but didn't dare say anything.

The lady continued in her raspy old voice: »Virgo represents the god Demeter, the god of agriculture and fertility. Yes, you see, they had different gods for everything. They had whole family trees describing the family relationships between the gods. Demeter, for example, was both the sister and mistress of Zeus. Yes, ahem... You've probably heard of Zeus...«

David nodded, his heart racing in his chest.

»Then, of course, we have the scorpion. You can see it over there.« The lady's hand was now pointing straight south, low again.

David's heart beat even faster. It was hard to breathe.

»Yes, of course,« she added, »we can't see the whole thing, it's so low in the ecliptic that it can be challenging to see from the northern hemisphere. What we see is mostly the tail...«

David interrupted: »What do the myths say about it...?«

»Oh yes, of course. Forgive me. I almost forgot to tell you. Well, here's how it was. According to the myth, the god Orion was a hunter — you can see the constellation over there. The three bright stars in a row over there are his belt... um, yes. Since he was a hunter, he wanted to kill animals, and he was close to killing all the animals on Earth, so to stop him, the goddess of the Earth, Gaia, sent a scorpion to kill him. It did so by stinging Orion on the heel. As a reward, the scorpion got its constellation, the one you see over there.«

Then they both sat in silence, looking up at the starry sky arching above them and disappearing into the sea on the horizon.

David tried to calm his heart. After a while, he finally had to ask the inevitable question: »How did you know I was interested in those two constellations?«

The lady turned her wrinkled face towards David and smiled strangely: »You think there's a lot up there among the stars, but think how much there is down here, among us under the canopy of stars. There are mysteries galore.«

»Mm,« said David.

»Have you heard of the green ray?« the lady suddenly said, looking at David with narrowed eyes.

David frowned. »The green ray? No, I don't think I have.«

»If we sit here until dawn and watch the sun rise over there in the east, we might see it.«

David turned his gaze to the east while the lady continued: »Just before the sun breaks over the horizon if the conditions in the air are right, the light from the sun can be refracted, like in a prism, and send forth a green ray of light that is said to be the most beautiful green colour you can see.«

David looked towards the eastern horizon and tried to imagine the green colour. »I'd like to see that,« he said quietly.

»It might be worth waiting for. You see: even that ray is shrouded in myth.«

»Really?«

»It is said that if you have someone you love, when you see the beam, you can read their heart and see if their love is true.«

David's mind was spinning. So this would reveal whether Hannah's love for him was strong enough for him to dare to propose.

»I wanted to see it myself once,« said the lady. »I searched for a long time, but the problem, you see, is that it's scarce. That's usually how it is — if something is valuable, it's rare, and that's what makes it valuable.«

»Like happiness...?« muttered David.

»Well, yes, perhaps,« said the lady, continuing: »I never saw it.«

»Oh, so you didn't get married then?«

The lady chuckled. »Yes, thank you, I did, but not to the man I was supposed to... no, it didn't turn out that way.«

»Was it good... ?«

»Yes, it was okay, but it wasn't that green ray that fixed it, no, not at all.«

»I see…«

The lady placed her hand on David's arm and looked at him intently. »I looked into his eyes.«

»His eyes?«

»Yes, indeed. That's where I could read his heart. And it was true love. We had some wonderful years together.«

David sighed. But it would be exciting to see that spark, at least once, he thought. I'll stay here — it's a clear night, maybe the conditions will be right tomorrow when the sun rises. What if I could see into Hanna's heart then...

»Sometimes you have to take a chance, my friend,« said the lady. »Even if you don't know how it will turn out. Don't wait too long for certainty, life won't wait...«

David woke with a start, sitting on the beach in his deckchair. In the east, the sun announced its arrival, a shimmering streak of light slowly rising on the horizon. Confused and newly awake, he looked around to see if the lady was still there, but the beach was empty and there were no traces on the sand other than his own.

David slowly got up from his chair and looked once more towards the sunrise.

Soon it will break through, he thought.

A moment later, it did, and just before the sun itself cautiously raised its head above the horizon, a ray of light shone for a brief, brief moment, as green and beautiful as nothing else, the most beautiful clear green colour that can be seen on earth.

But David had turned his back on it and was on his way home. Tomorrow he would meet Hanna, take her in his arms and then look deeply into her golden brown eyes.

**