Glen

When I was in my late teens tennis was my obsession. I began playing tournaments. Here in Manitoba, Canada there used to be 3 levels: A, B, and C. I lived in the middle level, B. At tournaments though there were no cliques, everyone socialized together.

I watched Glen’s matches often because he played a style of tennis I liked. As an “A” level pro there was a lot I could learn by watching him play. He won the Manitoba Open at least once in the late 70’s. In terms of tennis, we didn’t have much in common and we remained acquaintances. In the early 90’s I started playing golf regularly, played less tennis, and gradually drifted away from the tennis crowd.

In 1998 I had recently joined a golf club and as I walked out to the driving range one morning I noticed a tall familiar figure hitting balls. I hadn’t seen Glen in over a decade. Unlike with tennis, we shared similar golf skills and formed a close friendship as we began playing regularly. As an added benefit Glen introduced me to his golf buddies and soon I was part of a regular group of a half dozen players.

Soon we were phoning each other to arrange epic “Shell Wonderful World of Golf” matches against each other but also to discuss any number of other topics. Our friendship came along at a crucial time as I was going through a divorce.

I’m the kind of person who doesn’t make friends all that easily, I’ve never had a wide circle of people who could be described as close. Looking back on it I never formed friendships with fellow teachers because I preferred a separation between my work and private life, plus I got enough shop talk at work. There has always been more acquaintances than friends.

It’s strange sometimes how people are going through opposite experiences. While I was adjusting to life as a divorced father of two, Glen had begun a new relationship and seemed to be on top of the world. Soon he was newly married and talking about the new house they were building. It was great to see him so happy and I took some encouragement in seeing that it was possible that I could one day be in a good marriage too!

Eventually I began getting “out there” a little. I joined a singles club and began dating. Each week Glen and the other golf buddies would ask about any dates there may have been since we last played. I had some interesting stories about some uncomfortable evenings out and my endeavors to wrap them up as soon as possible. Since I was only one of two single guys in our group, they looked forward to hearing any “reports” I had to share.

After a few years of single clubs and dating I had come to the conclusion that I needed to take a break from it all. I had one purchased event left and I figured that I'd just go and at least eat the included dinner and then stop going altogether. Then everything changed!

I met Lorraine at this last event. I still remember how striking she was in the white jeans and pink top she wore that night, how easy she was to talk with, and her sense of humor. I remember seeing some of the attendees playing shuffleboard and asking if she would like to partner up and play. “We’ll kick their butts; they’ll never know what hit them!” was her reply.

As if this wasn’t enough, she golfed too! When I asked her out for nine holes of golf and dinner afterward her reply was “Sure, but you’ll need to bring your A-game!” I was hooked!

Glen was happy for me and soon made the suggestion that led to some of the most enjoyable days of my life. He said “Freddie (his nickname for me that he and our golf buddy Brent had given me after the tour pro Fred Couples), the four of us should go play”. Soon it was decided that the most even way to make teams would be Glen being a partner with Lo, and Brent and I would be the opposition.

There were numerous matches with taunting and teasing. Often Glen would phone to set up all the details of a big match and then he’d say “Ok, put my partner on, we have to talk strategy”. He always called Lo “Partner”. He would joke that if it was too tense for Lo to drive out to the golf course with the opposition (me) he could come by and pick her up! If Lo told him about shooting a good score he would laugh and advise her not to post the good games on the handicap system until after our match in case her handicap went down!

We also began taking four or five-day golf trips to Detroit Lakes. Glen, Brent, Wade, and I would play at four of about a dozen terrific courses in the area. We would play each day with a new partner and then rehash all the highlights (and bloopers) over dinner. Our favorite place was Zorbas in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. I knew even then that those would be some of my most cherished memories later in life.

When I suffered with back issues for about six years Glen would always phone to see how my recovery was progressing. We would talk in person or by phone for hours about health, golf, and sports. We didn’t always agree but I always enjoyed the conversations. Especially about the Winnipeg Jets concerning the team’s players, trades, and draft choices.

When Glen was diagnosed with kidney cancer in 2021, I would call to chat about how he was doing. He never complained about getting sick or asked “why me?” He was always upbeat saying how it was one step at a time and that he would get back to a full recovery day by day. Although there were several setbacks along the way he remained positive.

When I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and was recovering from surgery the roles reversed and he encouraged me, and met me for lunch often helping me to remain positive. We were both surviving cancer at the same time and encouraging each other.

In early September 2022, we met for lunch with another friend on a flawless fall day. Glen and I were feeling that we were on the home stretch of our recoveries and that we could perhaps play nine holes and ride a cart so that we didn’t try to do too much too quickly. It would feel great to return to doing something normal and we agreed to arrange this on the weekend for the next week.

When my phone rang that Thursday and I saw his name on my phone I answered as I always have: “Ernie…how’s it going?” (Ernie was his nickname because his height and swing reminded me of the South African golfer Ernie Els). It wasn’t Glen though; it was his wife. I just knew by the sound of her voice…

He had suffered a brain hemorrhage as a complication of his recent gamma-knife surgery. He was unresponsive and quickly lapsed into a comma with no measurable brain activity. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for her to have to make the decision to take him off life-support.

Even though we knew that his long-term odds weren’t that good, it was a shock how suddenly it happened. One month later my golf partner Brent passed away of esophageal cancer, going from initial diagnoses to his last day in less than three months. It was a tough fall and it hit me hard.

Late last October we had some beautiful warm days past the usual end of our golf season here. I woke up and looked out my window and almost reached for the phone to call Glen and figure out when and where we should play. I still have these moments where I blissfully forget for just a second that he’s really gone. The Jets will play a good (or bad) game, Donald Trump will do another ridiculous thing, or as just happened last weekend, Nick Taylor (a Canadian) won the Canadian Open. Just for a second, I find myself thinking I should call “Ernie” or half expect my phone to ring.

We still meet his wife for dinner every now and then. The last time I asked her if I could buy his Ping driver from her. Glen and I used to joke about him selling it to me and he used to say “Freddie I can’t do that – it would come back to haunt me!”. Her response was “I want you to have it but you can’t blame him for any shitty shots!” I assured her that I wouldn’t, but that I might here his voice from somewhere asking “Freddie, what happened there?”

That driver is in my golf bag now. As I walk the fairways and see it there all the memories of our epic matches and wonderful trips to Detroit Lakes come back to me. It feels good to have Glen with me out on the course.